The Silver Fern

Hey all,

Long time reader of this part of the forum, first time poster.

About this time last year, after several years of following the UFC, I signed up at a local MMA gym to do a couple of training sessions a week. I signed up with a mate (who has since left the gym) because we always used to sit there drinking piss and watching the fights saying that it looked like it'd be a cool sport to learn. He then went and signed up to a gym so I followed. At the time I figured there are worse places to have a midlife crisis, and it's cheaper and less weird than buying an MX5 roadster.

I've never been a brawler or fighter, and had done no training in any other combat sports prior to this outside of a few boxing and self-defence sessions when I was at Police college. I'm 38, so was one of the older guys in the class, with most being 18 - 25, and having had several years of experience in the sport, or things such as kickboxing or BJJ prior to joining. After a few months of feeling like a fish out of water, things started clicking, and I was able to progress from the wider class (there's a variety of ages and skill levels) to full contact sparring with some of the more experienced, but smaller, guys. I also graded to a yellow belt (karate belt system, but somewhat tailored to including all aspects of MMA). My next belt grading will be later this year.

Fast-forward to the start of this year, and my trainer asked me if I wanted to enter a proper MMA fight this year. It hadn't really ever crossed my mind, I was happy enough just doing the training, but I was really enjoying the full contact sparring, more than I ever thought I would. I had a couple of crises in my personal life last year, so sparring at the gym was a fantastic way to let out stress. I also found there's also something quite therapeutic about being punched in the face or kicked in the ribs.

I'm 6 foot 5, and currently weighing in at 110kg, but my trainer has been unable to match a fight for me despite trying at several grass roots events. Apparently it's hard to find like for like matches in amateur heavyweight MMA, because it's effectively an open weight class. I spoke to him last week about it, and he suggested I try to cut weight to light-heavyweight division, where finding a comparable match would be a lot easier because there are more fighters. Light heavyweight is circa 95kg, so it'll involve a 15kg weight loss to get there. I've definitely got 10kg of weight I could lose, so as much as anything, it just feels like a goal to try and get there.

I figured I'd chuck something up on here for a bit of a time capsule and to promote accountability to myself, plus sharing any milestones. I'm not really very active around the boards these days, and unsure if anyone actually follows this part of the forum very much, but the end goal of this will be to post a video of me fighting (and hopefully not getting the shit beat out of me) at some point in the next six months.

Feel free to chip in with words of wisdom, advice or just random MMA chat. I find the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu aspect of the training fascinating. It's probably the weakest part of my current skillset, but it's the one which interests me the most. So if there's any BJJ practitioners in here, I'd love to hear from you.

@No-Quarter said in Ngaruawahia P dealer eviction:

If they have such great intel on who and where the P dealers are why would they not work with Police to have them arrested? The argument "oh the cops haven't done anything about it" is crap because getting to the heart of these operations takes a huge amount of effort and investment. If this gang already knows everything and wants something down about it then why not give the info to the Police and make their jobs 1000% easier.
.

That's exactly it. The general public reaction to this (by general public, I mean the cross section of society who care enough to comment on the herald and stuff facebook pages, so not really accurate), is "why aren't the Police doing this instead of the gangs? They're also the same people who will (rightly) complain that the Police are overstepping their mark whenever a court case is thrown out because a warrant is ruled illegal or a search unlawful.

I worked in high end drug enforcement for just over 4 years and it's without a doubt the most difficult, frustrating but rewarding form of policing I ever worked in. It's not as simple as seeing some scrote driving around in a 200k Benz and deciding they're a meth dealer. I was lucky enough that our squad was really well resourced, so when we chose a target, we normally always got there in the end, but for an average frontline cop or Detective in a small provincial centre, they'll be running on a bare-bones budget, have limited drug investigation skills and even less resources. Coupled with the workload of being one of only a couple of Detectives in a small town, the desire for proactive drug enforcement is pretty low. Add into it that drug enforcement doesn't generate "statistics" (such as burglary resolution rates etc), and you'll find that it's almost frowned upon from above.

Hence, it's not even as simple as the cops just deciding they're gonna investigate the guys either, even with someone saying "Joe Bloggs is a drug dealer", it still wouldn't be enough to get you a search warrant, or over the line in court.

I'm fairly neutral on the Tribal Huks (aside from the stupid name). Gang members come in all shapes and sizes, and while they're certainly no angels, but they're probably not the Headhunters or Mongrel mob either, in terms of criminality. It's not unusual for gang members give back to the community by coaching sports, helping the elderly etc, so being part of a gang doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna be an evil monster. There are plenty of absolute scumbags who don't wear patches as well.

Pink seems like any number of gang members I've come across in the past with a massive ego, loves the spotlight and likes to talk about what a good guy they are. Personally, if they want to go and bash the shit out of some meth dealers, I'm fairly neutral on that, too. But they can't complain if they wind up being locked up for it. Its a slippery slope when you allow a gang to be judge, jury and executioner, without any due process. If it makes the community feel a little bit safer, so be it. But I would bet the house on the fact that meth addicts in Ngaruawahia are still easily able to get their fix from somewhere close by. You can't save people from themselves, so you'd have to ask if it's actually making Ngaruawahia any safer.

@mariner4life Thanks mate. Chance meeting with @Donsteppa at work the other day made me realise I hadn't been on here for a very long time.

Incredibly this was the first thread I clicked on in a good two years and it felt like I'd fallen into some weird-ass parallel universe.

Interesting insight into the mind of Ferners.

A few years back Mrs AWL and I were discussing hall passes, and she came up with Bradley Cooper being somewhere near the top of her list.

I told her that my hall pass would be the mousy looking cashier at the local four square who was about ten years older than me and had made flirtatious comments to me in the past while I'd been going about my daily business. Not celebrity caliber of course, but somewhat more attainable than anyone on her list, so a smart tactical move, I thought.

Fair to say, no hall passes were issued on that occasion and the topic hasn't been brought up since.

The Long Shot on Netflix is a great watch (40 minutes long, trailer below).

Basic plot line is about an American guy accused of a murder who is exonerated by a series of incredible coincidences surrounding an LA Dodgers game and the filming of an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

It's a great watch, and a good illustration of how screwed some parts of American law enforcement and their criminal justice system is as well. But for these coincidences, he'd probably have been executed or serving life in prison. Only 40 minutes too, which is a huge bonus, because I have the attention span of a three year old.

@mooshld said in ALI IN TROUBLE - DRUG ARREST!:

The problem with a famous guy saying he was buying it for a mate is that if they are really your mate they should come forward and take the heat off of you. If they don't then they're not really that good a mate are they, so you can probably just go ahead and name them.

Yup, and if he was indeed buying it for a "mate" who wasn't present, it would indicate that he obviously has a good working relationship with the coke dealer, otherwise why would he be brokering the deal on behalf, given how much he has to lose...

If I had a dollar for every person I locked up who blamed whatever illegal thing they had in their possession or action they'd just done on a mate, I'd almost be able to afford an All Blacks supporters jersey.

@dogmeat said in Grumpy Old Man:

@machpants and yet when I went out last night to get a proper essential item (Gin) the offie was empty.

People have strange priorities.

Mine host at the local craft beer place invited me in to help him finish a keg that he feels won't last a week. No charge.
4 pints later this lockdown has started well.

I saw on a Facebook grapevine that the local pizza joint was offering up free pizzas to those in need last night, presumably to use up perishable ingredients that wouldn't last a week or more in the fridge. Apparently they gave away over 100 pizzas. These things bring out as much the best in some people as they do the worst in others.

@mariner4life said in Documentaries:

@aucklandwarlord holy shit you're white??

I'm so white I say "now let's take a silly one" when taking group photos.

Two supermarket related GOM posts from me after my trip to Countdown tonight.

1. Why do the self scanning check outs grind to a halt when you scan alcohol through them until you get approval? You then stand there for five minutes while the overworked supervisor deals with something down the other end of the checkout queue. The New World ones allow the option of the purchase being approved at any point between scanning the item and paying for it, which means you can scan your other groceries while you wait.

2. The super-cool checkout supervisor, who is one of my favourite random people I see in my day-to-day business was saying that almost every day, they've had arseholes who kick up a stink and threaten staff or security about having to sign into the covid app, or having to wear a mask. Why do people have to be such piston wristed gibbons and take it out on the staff just trying to do their jobs? I hate people some days.

I locked a kid up called Wolverine once.

There was a chapter in the book Freakonomics a few years back which discussed a study done on how if an employer is sent an identical CV, one with a "normal" name and one with some sort of retarded made up name, that the employer will choose the normal named potential employee something like 95% of the time. The moral I took from that is that you're setting a kid up to fail for life by giving them a stupid name.

@paekakboyz said in Parenting:

Can someone tell me why the fuck we bother taking young kids on holiday. Change of venue and routine sends them la la, motel and hotel rooms have zero kid proofing (observation rather than complaint on that one) so you are stopping potential final destination moments constantly.
Ms 4.5 is acting up and Mr almost 2 is yelling and won't sleep. The wife and I are fucking knackered and I don't think we have the energy for a week of this shit.
I'm sure things will be fine in the morning though...right??

Right?!!

This resonates - it was easy when we just had one, she was a great traveller and could deal with late nights and changes in routine. When we were living in Thailand in 2018, we skipped across to Sri Lanka for Christmas and New Year with the kids (at the time 9 months old and 4) and it was the worst holiday we've ever had. We chose to hire a car and drive ourselves around which was a bit of a nightmare because the Sri Lankan dangerous driving is a step up from the Thais, and then, even though we shelled out for two bedroom motel rooms, we were pretty much awake at 4am every morning when the 9 month old woke the 4 year old up, who then wouldn't go back to sleep. We ended up pulling the pin on the holiday a week early and flying back and "holidaying" in my work's apartment in Bangkok, which had 3 bedrooms, a rooftop pool, and was handy to all the good attractions and eating spots.

Our flight back to NZ in 2019 was so horrific with the young fulla (screamed the walls off the plane, shat everywhere etc), that we had pretty much endeavoured he wouldn't be long haul flying until he was four or five years old. Covid-19 took that choice out of our hands anyway. There seem to be two types of parents when it comes to kids on planes - first, the ones who don't give a fuck and let their kids do what they want, and the others who are ultra-paranoid and stressed about their kids disturbing everyone around them. We're the latter.

I dont understand how Foster got the job in the first place.

Has everyone forgotten his prior history of poor coaching calls spanning back to the mid-2000's when, as well as ignoring other Steamers players, he snubbed Glen Jackson for David Hill?

The BoP Mafia haven't forgotten, that's for sure.

I liked the walker brothers for the very reason that they were an unknown quantity. The reality is that bar a handful of players, the current Warriors squad is a dumpster fire made up of guys past their use-by, guys who probably wouldn't make many other squads, and other mediocre players. Even under someone like Bellamy I doubt this squad could be top 4. At least taking a chance on the brothers would give them a chance to prove their mettle with a team who sadly won't do much without a complete overhaul.

Im a loyal as hell fan, but the Blake Green saga summed up the current Warriors outfit for me - publicly tell him he's not wanted, give him the option of immediate release and then publicly complain when he leaves that his heart wasn't in it. What did they expect was going to happen?

I was reading an article today about Americas Next Top Model contestants only being paid $49 per day in expenses, that was taken more or less entirely from about three tweets. At the bottom, they had the gall to refer to the article as "great" (yes I realise it's generic, but they could do without that word in there)

@catogrande said in Grumpy Old Man:

Old women in the Supermarket who just stand in the middle of the aisle or door with their trolleys blocking everyone while they check their list/purse/receipt/phone/rape alarm (no, still nothing). Then wonder why people get pissed off.

This resonates with me. In a similar vein, going to Mitre 10 Mega or the supermarket on Tuesdays but forgetting that it's Gold-Card day until you're stuck in the carpark for fifteen minutes waiting to get into a park while someone does a 27 point turn to reverse their Volvo into a park, six deep at the deli while one person asks a million inane questions about the ham, or stuck at the checkout for half an hour while they try to remember their PIN code.

(Yes, I know I'll be old as well one day - I'll probably hate myself for doing the same)

Great thread - this lockdown has seemed easier than the 2020 one, I guess because we're used to it and I'm fortunate enough that I work from home anyway.

The biggest bright side was that I was absolutely rammed with paperwork and a week ago was wondering how I was going to be able to get it done in amongst the field work that I do. I've now managed to clear about 30% of the backlog by not having to leave the house for the last five days.

I also get to hang out with the kids more during the day, because they're not at school.

I'm not a great cook, but I'm going to use the time to attempt to make a pumpkin soup this afternoon, and put in some chillis I grew this year, with the aim of "mistakenly" making it so spicy that no one else in my household can eat it, so I've got easy lunches lined up for the next week.

Hopefully once I finish a report I'm writing this afternoon, I'll be able to crack on with all "finishing" DIY jobs I've been putting off for ages.

Most of all, I'm greatful that 2021 is clearly the Warriors' year. Three games til the playoffs...

Cheers for the support team. It's actually really fun training. I used to dread it to start with because I was overweight and unfit - I've dropped 13kg since August last year, but now I look forward to it each week.

I train a couple of days a week in the gym, and am doing a lot of running, skipping and punching/kicking bag work at home.

Despite its brutality, it's been really good for my flexibility and general body conditioning. I'm constantly covered in bruises on my torso and limbs, have had a couple of black eyes, tore my MCL in my elbow (didn't tap out in time on an armbar) and I think I've got a broken toe at the moment (rib kick which hit an elbow). Other than that, I feel probably in better shape than I've been for a good decade.

I've been a diehard Warriors supporter since the beginning but it's hard to think of a worse time for the club than right now.

The owner seems like a real ballbag - why is he even in the pub arguing with the players? Then we hamstring the club's salary cap by releasing our best prop.

We fired Kearney, who was faring okay, given the situation he found himself in and took on a bum of a coach with a 20 something percent win record who, unsurprisingly, turned out to be a bum and ended up with a similar win percentage.

Jazz Tevaga is hearty as hell, and arguably tries the hardest week in, week out. But he's 98kg and is our starting prop. I'm picking there isn't a lighter prop in the comp this year, or in recent years. How are our forwards meant to dominate when they're 15 - 20kg light?

Stacey Jones is a club legend, but that doesn't translate to being a good coach. I'd prefer we cleaned the current regime out and got the Walker brothers in. We need to take a chance, because what we've been doing hasn't worked in the past.

Even more frustrating from an NRL-wide perspective is that contracts don't appear to be worth the paper they're written on. Guys signing with a New Zealand club and then saying that they're not willing to relocate to NZ and being granted immediate releases. Payne Haas being signed on potential by the Broncos for less than he's currently worth and now trying to renegotiate his contract halfway through because he thinks he's being underpaid. The contract/agent system is well and truly broken.

@mariner4life said in Origins:

Who built the simulation? And where did their universe come from?

And can they please stop watching me masturbate in the toilet?

I'm no longer welcome in the bathroom section of Bunnings either...

This was probably the favourite one I came across in my time in the job though...

http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/crime/285857/Megatron-transformed-into-drugs-criminal

"His lawyer, Val Nisbet, said that, in 2001, his client – then called Nicholas – had been a normal university student in Auckland when he had an accident and suffered a serious head injury. After that he changed, began using drugs and later changed his name by deed poll to Megatron."

Mrs AWL wouldn't even let me name our cat Megatron, let alone let me change my name to it...