OK, I can live with the preferential parking, the benefits and the roomy toilets (with their nice soft seat) but now I find out that the red button on the wall calls a hot nurse for a BJ? I am OUTRAGED.
I demand a button like that in all public conveniences.
And in my loo at home.
@Catogrande With the number of foreign players your union caps it wouldn't be rich for long. 
@akan004 but the umpires aren’t looking at the ball every delivery. Maybe the bowlers were ignorant (or wilfully so) but it’s suspicious.
And where did the sand paper come from if this plan was hatched on the fly? Nipped down to the hardware store in the lunch break?