The Silver Fern

Those ballista were just a bit OP. Semi automatic. Recoiless. Presumably rifled as those bolts flew dead straight. Must have been gimballed as weren’t affected by pitching of the boat. 100 percent accurate at picking out high altitude moving targets. No ranging shots needed. But that could have been because the bolts were unaffected by gravity so no ballistic trajectory to worry about.

Stealth tech included on the ships too.

I can see why they weren’t too worried by all those ballista on KL at the end though. They would have hit Doorne before they hit a target 50 feet away. While she’s waiting for Jon Snow to arrive, Cersei should start raining artillery down on Winterfell.

OK, I can live with the preferential parking, the benefits and the roomy toilets (with their nice soft seat) but now I find out that the red button on the wall calls a hot nurse for a BJ? I am OUTRAGED.

I demand a button like that in all public conveniences.

And in my loo at home.

Fuck it. This is how I would have liked it to play out:

1. At end of series six all seven rulers would have met and decided to send their armies north to face the Night King. Tyrion convinces Cersei that they are the last of the Lannisters and it's the right thing to do. She reluctantly agrees that there's no point in having the crown when her children are dead.

2. Cersei then finds out she's pregnant so decides to hang on to the crown for her son. She also looks at a map of Westeros and correctly deduces that the North is massive and will be overrun and the only place to stop the army of the dead is the Neck. (Think Thermopylae with flaming peat bogs). She decides to cut the North loose (correctly figuring they will refuse to abandon their lands) and tells Jaime to fortify the Twins and prevent the other five armies marching north as they'll be needed to defend the Neck.

3. Night King really starts to fuck shit up in the north. Danaerys realises her advisers are idiots, have fucked it up and they are trapped. She flies south to convince Cersei to let reinforcements go north.

4. Cersei barricades population in Kings Landing and tells Dany that she's put wildfire all around the city and one spark from Drogon will create a Dresden fire storm. Cersei plays on Dany's mad daddy issues about burning the city and mocks Dany that the North is fucked and her army is about to be wiped out. Dany has moral quandary - destroy Kings Landing or everyone in the north dies. So she incinerates Cersei and in doing so the entire city goes up.

5. Dany then confronts Jamie who bends the knee. But he then explains again how strategically the North is already fucked and should be abandoned (he can call back to how he abandoned Casterly Rock to show he actually understands this). Dany realises Cersei was actually right after all and she should have listened to her. She then flies North and pulls her armies out.

6. Night King overruns the North but gets stuck at the Neck due to flaming peat bogs and flaming dragons. Meanwhile Bran (who I would have left in his cave) works out how to use his tree network and warg skills to provide real time communication allowing various raids to kill each of the white walkers. Each one killed takes out 10% or so of the army of the dead. Move the Hodor scene here - once the Night King works out who is coordinating the attacks he can assault the cave and Hodor can have a more meaningful end.

7. Night King gets desperate as his army is destroyed and decides himself to force through the Neck and is defeated (don't really care how or by who).

8. Cue big celebration at Winterfell to celebrate the victory (also J+D wedding perhaps?). Jon tells Sansa how she reminds him of Ned. Sansa comments that her mother taught her some lessons too. She then orders repeat of Red Wedding and Dany, Unsullied and Dothraki are all killed. Jon goes for Sansa. Arya sticks him with the pointy end. Sansa makes the point that Dany's decisions killed entire population of Kings Landing and the North so had it coming.

9. Sansa is Queen in North. She tells the other kingdoms all to fuck off and rebuilds the wall on her southern border (got to stop all the other kingdoms sending their rapers and murderers across the border...).

10. Final shot - iron throne is abandoned in the ruins of the Red Keep.

@Catogrande With the number of foreign players your union caps it wouldn't be rich for long.

@akan004 but the umpires aren’t looking at the ball every delivery. Maybe the bowlers were ignorant (or wilfully so) but it’s suspicious.

And where did the sand paper come from if this plan was hatched on the fly? Nipped down to the hardware store in the lunch break?

Just watched the pilot for Jean Claude van Johnson. I hope this gets picked up as a series.

The basic premise is JCVD playing himself who's spent the last twenty years intentionally being a shit actor in crap movies as a cover story for actually being a secret agent.

Ending was fine. A bit too neat as people have said above but at least wrapped everything up. I think the issue I (and many others) have with the last few series is that characters started to act to 'type' as noted above. The evil people were always evil. The good were always good etc. What was interesting about the earlier series was that the people who always acted 'good' tended to die and the people who were morally ambiguous but played the odds correctly tended to live.