Bad/Lame Jokes

nostrildamus

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Any joke which starts with a duck walking into a pub is gonna be a goody

It took awhile to get to the wise quack.

taniwharugby

@Catogrande

Catogrande

@taniwharugby

Sergeant: Private. I didn't see you at camouflage practice today.

Private: Thank you Sergeant.

Virgil

A man with a completely bald head and only one leg is invited to a costume party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a high-end costume store to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,
Enclosed please find a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will look exactly like a Pirate.

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note.

Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Enclosed please find a Monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

Now the man is furious, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,
Enclosed please find a bottle of excellent grenadine syrup. We suggest you pour the red grenadine syrup over your bald head, let it harden, and then stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a candy apple.

MN5

@Virgil said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

A man with a completely bald head and only one leg is invited to a costume party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a high-end costume store to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,
Enclosed please find a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will look exactly like a Pirate.

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note.

Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Enclosed please find a Monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

Now the man is furious, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,
Enclosed please find a bottle of excellent grenadine syrup. We suggest you pour the red grenadine syrup over your bald head, let it harden, and then stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a candy apple.

Is this even a joke ?

Virgil

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@Virgil said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

A man with a completely bald head and only one leg is invited to a costume party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a high-end costume store to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,
Enclosed please find a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will look exactly like a Pirate.

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note.

Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Enclosed please find a Monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

Now the man is furious, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,
Enclosed please find a bottle of excellent grenadine syrup. We suggest you pour the red grenadine syrup over your bald head, let it harden, and then stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a candy apple.

Is this even a joke ?

the internet told me it was
why would it lie?

MN5

@Virgil said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@Virgil said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

A man with a completely bald head and only one leg is invited to a costume party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a high-end costume store to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,
Enclosed please find a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will look exactly like a Pirate.

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note.

Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Enclosed please find a Monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

Now the man is furious, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,
Enclosed please find a bottle of excellent grenadine syrup. We suggest you pour the red grenadine syrup over your bald head, let it harden, and then stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a candy apple.

Is this even a joke ?

the internet told me it was
why would it lie?

Touche.

I'll stand corrected.

Virgil

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@Virgil said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@Virgil said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

A man with a completely bald head and only one leg is invited to a costume party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a high-end costume store to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,
Enclosed please find a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will look exactly like a Pirate.

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note.

Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Enclosed please find a Monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

Now the man is furious, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,
Enclosed please find a bottle of excellent grenadine syrup. We suggest you pour the red grenadine syrup over your bald head, let it harden, and then stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a candy apple.

Is this even a joke ?

the internet told me it was
why would it lie?

Touche.

I'll stand corrected.