Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz
-
I just tried to find out how the chilli one was eaten before I got to try it and was told the same thing happened to the plain and chocolate jars that were bought over the past couple of weeks .
Apparently my reaction to this news was hilarious and I should have seen the look on my face. Ffs.
-
We still doing great news? Cause I feel this one will get a response, "Enjoy" -
Agony of being a 50/50 mum
Nicola Hewitt, 42, an office manager from Kenley, Surrey, faces the trauma of being without her children Devon, 10, and Sonny, eight, every weekend. Many women face this problem too.
Agony of being a 50/50 mum: Women once held the upper hand in custody battles. Now fathers are winning EQUAL access... and mothers are struggling to cope
• Nicola Hewitt, 42, an office manager from Kenley, Surrey, faces the trauma of being without her children Devon, 10, and Sonny, eight, every weekend
• Veronica Sweeney-Bird, a 33-year-old bar worker from Tunbridge Wells, a week-on, week-off shared care arrangement for her two daughters
• Mothers are having to divide time with their children equally with their exesEvery mother lives for those small, joyful moments when her child masters something new - a book once too challenging, the telling of a joke previously stumbled over, a food devoured that had formerly been rejected. For it's in the gentle minutiae of a little one's life that you really see their budding personality grow. Imagine, then, the agonising pain of being privy to your child's life for only half the time. The milestones missed. The lost cuddles before bedtime. The long nights spent wondering if they are sleeping sweetly or crying out for Mummy.
This is the reality for Britain's growing legion of 50/50 mothers, who divide their time with the children equally with their exes. It's a growing phenomenon that - on the surface - might seem the fairest way for separated parents to organise their lives. But it comes at an emotional price for the mothers involved - and the consequences for children are as yet untold.
Veronica Sweeney-Bird is one such mother who wishes more than anything that her two little girls were having a more relaxed, stable childhood. Instead, every other Thursday, she drops one off at nursery and one at primary school, full of foreboding as she kisses them goodbye. A week-on, week-off shared care arrangement with her ex-husband is the high price Veronica has to pay for her broken marriage. And two years on from the split, she still struggles to cope with the moment she says goodbye to her girls for seven long days.
'I so hate being a 50/50 mother,' says the 33-year-old bar worker from Tunbridge Wells, who was married for seven years. 'When it's not my week to have the children, I have to try to switch off from being a mum and it's so very hard. Nicola looks after her two children during the week, meaning she must deal with school runs and tired evenings, whereas her ex-husband gets them at the weekend
'When they're not here I daren't even go into the girls' room because just seeing all their clothes and toys is very painful. I know I'll just dissolve into tears and won't be able to function.' Veronica only ventures into their room the night before they are due home, to tidy up and get ready for their return.
'I know they're coming back so I feel more excited than upset and can handle it,' she says. Nicola finds holidays and special days especially hard - such as Mother's Day and her birthday. She also finds that the children can be needier and more attention-seeking after having been away from her
Although her ex-husband lives just a ten-minute walk away, relations are strained and there is little contact between them apart from a court-ordered FaceTime conversation with her daughters - Ziva, five , and Tali, three - every other day while they are with him. 'Even that is hard because Ziva doesn't like talking on the phone and I can't force her,' says Veronica.On Mother's Day this year, Veronica wasn't even able to speak to the girls, as it didn't fall on her court-appointed FaceTime day - something, she says, she found utterly heartbreaking Although she trusts her ex-husband implicitly with the care of her girls, the lack of easy communication means she knows little of what they do in their time apart. More than this, decisions about their care are often made that are out of her control.
'I once went to pick the girls on my Thursday and was shocked to see that he had taken them to the hairdresser's without telling me,' says Veronica. 'Tali's hair had just grown long enough to tie into ponytails and now it was too short to tie up. I was devastated.'
On Mother's Day this year, Veronica wasn't even able to speak to the girls, as it didn't fall on her court-appointed FaceTime day - something, she says, she found utterly heartbreaking. And recently her ex informed her that Ziva would be going to an after-school judo class every Wednesday - which encroaches on her own week with the girls.
'Ziva really enjoys it, so that's OK,' says Veronica, 'but I don't like not being part of the discussion to decide what activities my own children are going to take part in. 'When you have children, you want to have a say in every element of their upbringing. But in my situation, that's impossible.'
Such emotionally gruelling arrangements over childcare are becoming increasingly common. While official figures suggest that only 3 per cent of separated parents share their children's time equally, experts say this is a gross underestimate because many arrangements are unofficial - and so unrecorded.More and more couples are agreeing to split care of their children without any intervention by the courts, according to Jane Robey, the chief executive officer of National Family Mediation, an organisation that conducts over 30,000 mediations a year between separating couples.
'Ten years ago, shared care wasn't really an option,' says Jane. 'Now there is a cultural shift towards fathers taking an active role in their children's upbringing. So many men are saying they want to be involved in day-to-day parental care.' -
Don't understand the point of that article. 50/50 sharing means that both sides suffer equally as opposed to more traditional every other weekend sort of things where (generally) the father got screwed and had to go through it.
Equality isn't about picking and choosing.
-
@MajorRage The point is MR that it is a Daily Mail article and therefore is pandering to the permanently outraged sisterhood.
-
I suspect that if you claim you are "devastated" about your daughter's haircut then perhaps you weren't the easiest person to live and co-parent with.
Not that I think ex-wives can be fluffybunnies.
Disclaimer: best mate going through nasty divorce. They are currently haggling over her demand for 100% of relationship property. Only when that it settled will the custody issues start. I won't even comment on her personality and behaviour outside of lawyerly interaction.
-
If any woman absolutely falls to bits if her kids are away for a few days, she needs to give herself a sharp slap and get a life. Nothing good comes from making kids your entire world. Get a fucking hobby, woman. Volunteer. Get a pet.
While the mother who lost the plot over a haircut sounds painful, an ex who can't even bend enough to accommodate a mother's day call sounds like a right piston wristed gibbon too.
-
@gollum said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
Veronica Sweeney-Bird is one such mother who wishes more than anything that her two little girls were having a more relaxed, stable childhood. Instead, every other Thursday, she drops one off at nursery and one at primary school, full of foreboding as she kisses them goodbye. A week-on, week-off shared care arrangement with her ex-husband is the high price Veronica has to pay for her broken marriage. And two years on from the split, she still struggles to cope with the moment she says goodbye to her girls for seven long days.
Wished mroe than anything? OK.... she can give 100% custody to the dad, problem.. she has her wish.. kids dont have to move
-
Really? Just ... fuck ...
Story reads to me something like: parents split, custody is shared in a reasonable adult manner even though parents sad, reporter tries to beat up something that doesn't exist.
I suppose aim has been achieved because we've all looked and are now talking about it. But other than that I'm atill trying to find a point to the article.
-
@booboo said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
Really? Just ... fuck ...
Story reads to me something like: parents split, custody is shared in a reasonable adult manner even though parents sad, reporter tries to beat up something that doesn't exist.
I suppose aim has been achieved because we've all looked and are now talking about it. But other than that I'm atill trying to find a point to the article.
That's it really. It might sound to you and I like a haircut and she's being ott but the first thing I thought of was a guy I know who told his ex when they were together how much he was looking forward to giving the kid his first beer and showing him how to cook a steak on the BBQ like his dad did. They split up and she hooked up with someone else and made sure the new guy did those things and her ex found out , you've got to wonder about the petty spiteful mentality behind that kind of behaviour but I only know his side of the story and I remember he was gutted about it.
-
http://m.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11827642&ref=NZH_fb
Here's one for @Mokey to choke on during her cornflakes tomorrow
-
In other news.....'bunch of butthurt stereotypes furious and outraged that Air New Zealand can't control the weather'
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10155171248719268&id=21253884267
-
@MN5 said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
In other news.....'bunch of butthurt stereotypes furious and outraged that Air New Zealand can't control the weather'
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10155171248719268&id=21253884267
Nice to see the article being ripped apart in the comments section. Honestly, I don't know why NZH and Stuff even bother these days. Not a day goes by there is some sort of "article" outlining some poor sod's hard luck story or some imagined slight. Harden up people!!
-
@MN5 said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
In other news.....'bunch of butthurt stereotypes furious and outraged that Air New Zealand can't control the weather'
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10155171248719268&id=21253884267
Christ, they are damn lucky with what AirNZ offered despite being at no fault whatsoever. I just tried flying for a short weekend in Europe to catch the last of the snow and had my board and gear arrive a day after I did, totally screwing my plans. That was the airline/baggage handlers fault yet I wasn't even offered a refund on the baggage charge.
-
@MN5 said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
In other news.....'bunch of butthurt stereotypes furious and outraged that Air New Zealand can't control the weather'
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10155171248719268&id=21253884267
Thats gold . The comments are hilarious, I doubt the whingers in the article expected the response they got.
-
@MN5 said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
http://m.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=11827642&ref=NZH_fb
Here's one for @Mokey to choke on during her cornflakes tomorrow
I hope I don't have to wait till 2044 to vote for him.
-
@jegga said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
@booboo said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
Really? Just ... fuck ...
Story reads to me something like: parents split, custody is shared in a reasonable adult manner even though parents sad, reporter tries to beat up something that doesn't exist.
I suppose aim has been achieved because we've all looked and are now talking about it. But other than that I'm atill trying to find a point to the article.
That's it really. It might sound to you and I like a haircut and she's being ott but the first thing I thought of was a guy I know who told his ex when they were together how much he was looking forward to giving the kid his first beer and showing him how to cook a steak on the BBQ like his dad did. They split up and she hooked up with someone else and made sure the new guy did those things and her ex found out , you've got to wonder about the petty spiteful mentality behind that kind of behaviour but I only know his side of the story and I remember he was gutted about it.
My ex and I are still great friends and we put our boys first in everything we do. I see them multiple times a week and if something comes up and i can't have them for the weekend or vice versa we talk about it like adults. She remarried a great bloke who treats them as his own and I'm engaged to a lady ( admittedly from the Hutt
) who does exactly the same. As a result of this my boys ( little spoilt fuckers ) basically have four sets of grandparents who dote on them too!!!!It's not that fucken hard to put aside petty differences for the sake of kids.
-
@MN5 said in Alternative needed from the absolute crap of stuff.co.nz:
In other news.....'bunch of butthurt stereotypes furious and outraged that Air New Zealand can't control the weather'
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10155171248719268&id=21253884267
There's photos of the stranded passengers on the front page of the paper today.
One of them has a child with him, its name is Eleven.
