Back for more!
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@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
@mn5 I've always sucked at pull ups, even when I was gym bunny, I couldnt do 10.
Yeah to be fair they are tough. Keep at em
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@mn5 I can do as many pull ups now as I could back then and I'm almost 20kg heavier!
@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
@mn5 I can do as many pull ups now as I could back then and I'm almost 20kg heavier!
Bear in mind lots of folk can't do a single one. We're doing ok for a bunch of douches who talk to other blokes on the interweb.
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@nta said in Back for more!:
Pilates tonight. Kind of nice to be out as Mrs TA has the shits with me over my appalling honesty.
…..and you've been married how long?
Surely you know to leave the room quickly when certain questions are asked?
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@crucial @Catogrande wasn't me answering a question; was me asking for something - and nothing even remotely kinky, either.
@nta next time start with kink then 'settle' for vanilla! Prob get the same reaction but hey, just more time and energy to workout!!
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Pilates tonight. Kind of nice to be out as Mrs TA has the shits with me over my appalling honesty.
@nta said in Back for more!:
Pilates tonight. Kind of nice to be out as Mrs TA has the shits with me over my appalling honesty.
Did you tell her you love the Powerwall more than her?
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@nta said in Back for more!:
Pilates tonight. Kind of nice to be out as Mrs TA has the shits with me over my appalling honesty.
Did you tell her you love the Powerwall more than her?
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
Pilates tonight. Kind of nice to be out as Mrs TA has the shits with me over my appalling honesty.
Did you tell her you love the Powerwall more than her?
That's been implied for some time now.
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@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
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Back to the story: tonight was body weight night.
Did something a bit different for chinups - one supine grip, followed immediately by one neutral grip, followed immediately by one pronated grip.
Repeat after a short rest for 5 sets. I tried changing grips while ON the bars, but not quite strong enough for that.
After that, 5 sets of 10 pushups while watching The Hateful Eight which is a drawn-out excuse for Tarantino to use the word "nigger" repeatedly, judging by the first 2 hours.
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@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
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@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have a crack at that if you could get away with it.
-
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
@nta Tough going mate. I think this sort of thing happens to most of us at some time or another. My mate had a similar issue but lacked your "appalling honesty". All he could keep telling his wife was that she "must invest in the relationship". It took her ages to understand that he just wanted a root.
-
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have a crack at that if you could get away with it.
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have a crack at that if you could get away with it.
Less so once he breathes again and lets it all go.
-
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have a crack at that if you could get away with it.
Less so once he breathes again and lets it all go.
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have a crack at that if you could get away with it.
Less so once he breathes again and lets it all go.
That corset might be sexy.
-
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have a crack at that if you could get away with it.
Less so once he breathes again and lets it all go.
That corset might be sexy.
@crucial said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have a crack at that if you could get away with it.
Less so once he breathes again and lets it all go.
That corset might be sexy.
"might"
-
@crucial said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have a crack at that if you could get away with it.
Less so once he breathes again and lets it all go.
That corset might be sexy.
"might"
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@crucial said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have a crack at that if you could get away with it.
Less so once he breathes again and lets it all go.
That corset might be sexy.
"might"
Just offering you an image to ponder on.
-
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@crucial said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have a crack at that if you could get away with it.
Less so once he breathes again and lets it all go.
That corset might be sexy.
"might"
Just offering you an image to ponder on.
@crucial said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@crucial said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
@nta said in Back for more!:
@Catogrande @Rancid-Schnitzel duh
Nah seriously - and related to the men's health issues - and a bit of a rant: it was a bit of pride talking, asking her why the whole relationship only seemed to be going one way e.g. why I'm the one initiating all the affection / sex / dinners / nights out. If she's not cancelling things because she feels guilty about not spending enough time at work, that is.
Side note: we'd planned to have our anniversary (a Friday) together, and even though she was on the bleed, we'd have a nice lunch and spend some time together without having other issues around. But no: she booked her Mum's MRI scan the Monday of that week, then took the Wednesday "working" from home because it was a billing cycle and she could concentrate better at home than in the office. While watching 6 episodes of something on Netflix, according to the account history.
So our anniversary lunch got shelved, basically. I've tried to organise other date nights, but they turned into a quick lunch on a work-from-home day because again: work trumps me.
I'd also point out that it is particularly galling when I'm getting back in shape, to the point where people at work give me more compliments than my own wife. Jeez the old high school friend I go to Pilates with was complimenting my new FB profile pic - and even tho I'm not the finished product, I'm doing OK. Here is me with my bro down at Darling Harbour on Sunday:
Haaaaaaaaaaaa!
Anyway, we've had over a year now of her Mum's dementia bullshit, and I am getting tired of "I'm just numb" being used as an excuse, particularly when a few glasses of wine or a night out with her mates tends to sort the "numb" right the fuck out.
So I showed her this article, prefacing it with "It isn't a laundry list or list of demands - but some of this stuff resonated with me and I'd like your thoughts".
(Warm up the hand grenade, Jeffrey)
Long Story Short: tears; accusations of me never being satisfied; told to leave if I'm not happy; told that she'll leave if I "don't have the balls to leave"; and so on. The whole "get out if you don't like it" threat was a new one, and scared me a bit.
Eventually - once I'd knocked down every argument she put to me - she broke completely and said she wanted her Mum back. And I fully understand of that line of thinking. My old man will be gone 5 years as of next week. I didn't see him as much as she saw her Mum (her next suburb, my lot interstate), but I still miss the old bastard. Can't do much about it tho, can I?
Watching her Mum die slowly of dementia* is a fucking punish. But that can't be the backdrop of everything else in her life. Kids, work, and a husband to think about. Put that angsty bullshit in a box and get on with what is in front of you.
Additionally, don't try and make it a bad thing that I want to fill the weekends with adventure and activities; life is fucking short, as demonstrated by The Dementor's faculties going in her mid 60s, so get with the program.
Anyway, after 36 hours of frost, we're good again. I even got a hug off her when she got home from work, that I did not need to initiate.
As an old farmer mate of mine said: Women; they're strange cattle.
End rant.
*The Dementor is at the stage now where her short-term memory is utterly fucked. Repeats sentences multiple times in the same period. Still got a sense of humour, hasn't turned into a drooler yet. It'd be a mercy if she had a huge fucking infarction and saved everyone the trouble of diving further.
Sorry to hear that mate. I kind of had similar experiences. For me, things like affection and sex were pleasurable things that could and should distract you from all that other bullshit in life. A way to escape from all the stress and noise for just a little while (in my case 2 minutes he he). But my wife would very often let work or other stress get in the way of all that. She couldn't separate them for some reason. That made affection or sex an effort or a chore. Never understood it. Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it. I would have thought a bit of quality time with the husband and a little bit of sexy time would be a great way to focus on something other than her mum, but as you say, they are very strange cattle. I'm sure your missus will get over it, but hang in there.
You're looking good btw.
Looks like you've got a fall back option at any rate Nick.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have a crack at that if you could get away with it.
Less so once he breathes again and lets it all go.
That corset might be sexy.
"might"
Just offering you an image to ponder on.
Gets mental image. Shudders.
-
@nta Tough going mate. I think this sort of thing happens to most of us at some time or another. My mate had a similar issue but lacked your "appalling honesty". All he could keep telling his wife was that she "must invest in the relationship". It took her ages to understand that he just wanted a root.
@rancid-schnitzel said in Back for more!:
Not sure if that's common for all females, but obviously both you and I copped it.
The more blokes I speak to about this, the more common it seems. Hence why that article exists - my boss at work said "well yeah of course someone is going to write that: not like you're the Lone Ranger here!"
@catogrande said in Back for more!:
@nta Tough going mate. I think this sort of thing happens to most of us at some time or another. My mate had a similar issue but lacked your "appalling honesty". All he could keep telling his wife was that she "must invest in the relationship". It took her ages to understand that he just wanted a root.
My situation is similar to that BUT it has gotten to the stage where there is still sex, but always on her terms and nothing affectionate between "hug" and "shag".
Throw in the ED and you've got a dangerous mix. As the psych said: the problem comes down to anticipation. I'm always in a spot where I don't know when the next one is, and I'm nervous enough about performance. Uncertainty isn't helping when there's no bridge built on basic intimacy in between, and no feedback or direction from her side.
Have tried sending her texts with a nudge wink and no response. I buy flowers sporadically so it doesn't become the norm, and while they're appreciated, the romance of it seems lost.
The Dementor has to die and then I'll STILL get a year or two of the wife dealing with her guilt at her happiness as well as the genuine grief.
It's fucked.
