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@magpie_in_aus
without trying to sound like I have much expertise in this, it does sound from your posts that the issues you have are catalysts to your partner's behaviour. Her ways of dealing with things (and your reactions to that) would undoubtedly benefit from some form of counselling. It's not about some 'expert' having answers to fix things, it's all about finding the right person to draw out of you a personal understanding of your own behaviour so you can accept parts and reject others leading to change. I wish it was something I had done decades before I did.I can also support the example in M4Ls post. The wife and I came to that point where we seriously questioned the way forward (after 35 years) and decided that despite everything we really did want to stay together. That really helped drive changes.
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Back to me for a second
Ran 5km today in 28:23 - loaded up with last night's pizza binge, it wasn't much fun trying to guess if I'd shit myself halfway out.
Weigh in was notably rubbish at 98kg but fuck it, I'm part the point where the scales are anything but a measure of how hard it'll be to do chinups!
Chest: 114
Waist: 106
Hips: 108 -
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@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
@nta ah damn, now I know why @MN5 is so keen on those one armed push ups!
Always thought he was a bit dim, but seems he is pretty on to it!
I get enough sex to not need porn but it's handy having the option of the other arm free to chug beer while you're working out.
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@mn5 said in Back for more!:
@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
@nta ah damn, now I know why @MN5 is so keen on those one armed push ups!
Always thought he was a bit dim, but seems he is pretty on to it!
I get enough sex to not need porn but it's handy having the option of the other arm free to chug beer while you're working out.
Of all the bullshit written on this site over the years that takes the prize.
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@crucial said in Back for more!:
@mn5 said in Back for more!:
@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
@nta ah damn, now I know why @MN5 is so keen on those one armed push ups!
Always thought he was a bit dim, but seems he is pretty on to it!
I get enough sex to not need porn but it's handy having the option of the other arm free to chug beer while you're working out.
Of all the bullshit written on this site over the years that takes the prize.
Clearly you missed @jegga comparing ACDC to Nickelback.
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@crucial said in Back for more!:
@mn5 said in Back for more!:
@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
@nta ah damn, now I know why @MN5 is so keen on those one armed push ups!
Always thought he was a bit dim, but seems he is pretty on to it!
I get enough sex to not need porn but it's handy having the option of the other arm free to chug beer while you're working out.
Of all the bullshit written on this site over the years that takes the prize.
You could give him the benefit of the doubt here, he didn’t actually put a figure on how much is enough . Begrudgingly putting out on his birthday might be all he needs.
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@jegga said in Back for more!:
@crucial said in Back for more!:
@mn5 said in Back for more!:
@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
@nta ah damn, now I know why @MN5 is so keen on those one armed push ups!
Always thought he was a bit dim, but seems he is pretty on to it!
I get enough sex to not need porn but it's handy having the option of the other arm free to chug beer while you're working out.
Of all the bullshit written on this site over the years that takes the prize.
You could give him the benefit of the doubt here, he didn’t actually put a figure on how much is enough . Begrudgingly putting out on his birthday might be all he needs.
My posting history should confirm I'm a man of very simple wants and needs
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Been a bit sick the last couple of weeks so minimal activity - lot of walking at an out-of-town wedding on the coast south of Sydney (Kiama - nice spot) and a bit of body weight just to keep the muscles awake.
Now (back on the female thing for a minute), here's an inane tale that got me into trouble:
As I've mentioned, on Tuesdays I do Pilates with a female friend from high school. She missed last week as it was her wedding anniversary, and then I got a message this week saying "I heard it isn't on this week?" which I'd not heard, so I told Mrs TA I wasn't going to Pilates.
Later, the friend sends "Did you just want to go to the same place* and grab a drink as we haven't caught up in a couple of weeks?".
*The complex we do Pilates in has other offices, the psyiotherapist who hosts Pilates, and a coffee shop downstairs.
Yeah alright fair enough. Told Mrs TA it was back on ("Mix up with the dates"), because in effect the friend and I were probably going to end up going for a walk or something anyway.
Turn up, Pilates is actually on so we decide to grab a coffee afterwards. Session started 10 minutes late due to the physio having a patient, we get our stretch/core work in, then go get a drink.
Timelines for reference: Pilates is 7PM for 1 hour, and after packing up and driving home I'm usually there by 8:30PM.
Anyway, at some point I look at my phone - which was still silenced due to concentrating on exercise - and its 8:50PM. Missed call from the wife and a text "U ok you are normally home by now?", both around 2030 hours.
Respond with "Hey sorry we just grabbed a coffee" and that I'd be home soon.
Get home and its very quiet and somewhat chilly. I didn't notice anything at first, then when she was practically unresponsive I asked if anything was the matter, and got told there wasn't
Wake up this morning, we go through getting ready for work, and I give her a big hug and told her I loved her and got ZERO in response. Pulled back and said "You seem upset, and I'd like to know why because maybe I can help"
"I am upset, and when I pin down exactly why, I'll tell you"
What
The
Fuck
?????????? -
this friend you do pilates with is a chick yea?
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@nta said in Back for more!:
Been a bit sick the last couple of weeks so minimal activity - lot of walking at an out-of-town wedding on the coast south of Sydney (Kiama - nice spot) and a bit of body weight just to keep the muscles awake.
Now (back on the female thing for a minute), here's an inane tale that got me into trouble:
As I've mentioned, on Tuesdays I do Pilates with a female friend from high school. She missed last week as it was her wedding anniversary, and then I got a message this week saying "I heard it isn't on this week?" which I'd not heard, so I told Mrs TA I wasn't going to Pilates.
Later, the friend sends "Did you just want to go to the same place* and grab a drink as we haven't caught up in a couple of weeks?".
*The complex we do Pilates in has other offices, the psyiotherapist who hosts Pilates, and a coffee shop downstairs.
Yeah alright fair enough. Told Mrs TA it was back on ("Mix up with the dates"), because in effect the friend and I were probably going to end up going for a walk or something anyway.
Turn up, Pilates is actually on so we decide to grab a coffee afterwards. Session started 10 minutes late due to the physio having a patient, we get our stretch/core work in, then go get a drink.
Timelines for reference: Pilates is 7PM for 1 hour, and after packing up and driving home I'm usually there by 8:30PM.
Anyway, at some point I look at my phone - which was still silenced due to concentrating on exercise - and its 8:50PM. Missed call from the wife and a text "U ok you are normally home by now?", both around 2030 hours.
Respond with "Hey sorry we just grabbed a coffee" and that I'd be home soon.
Get home and its very quiet and somewhat chilly. I didn't notice anything at first, then when she was practically unresponsive I asked if anything was the matter, and got told there wasn't
Wake up this morning, we go through getting ready for work, and I give her a big hug and told her I loved her and got ZERO in response. Pulled back and said "You seem upset, and I'd like to know why because maybe I can help"
"I am upset, and when I pin down exactly why, I'll tell you"
What
The
Fuck
??????????That's a cracking read!
You know why she is icey, just pony up about it. Let her know you're just friends and stop being all jelly
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@mariner4life said in Back for more!:
this friend you do pilates with is a chick yea?
Hence the use of the term "female" - tho I suspect you're being sarcastic
@hooroo said in Back for more!:
You know why she is icey, just pony up about it. Let her know you're just friends and stop being all jelly
I'd like her to actually specify what is bothering her about it i.e. communicate her questions.
Just opening my mouth and spewing out assumptions gives her more ammo to work with.
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@nta said in Back for more!:
@mariner4life said in Back for more!:
this friend you do pilates with is a chick yea?
Hence the use of the term "female" - tho I suspect you're being sarcastic
@hooroo said in Back for more!:
You know why she is icey, just pony up about it. Let her know you're just friends and stop being all jelly
I'd like her to actually specify what is bothering her about it i.e. communicate her questions.
Just opening my mouth and spewing out assumptions gives her more ammo to work with.
I'm not actually sure you have the moral high ground here.
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@mariner4life would concur, reckon you need to explicitly front load this scenario. Ie pilates is off but having a coffee with your mate. Hell, I reckon a quick text once you knew pilates was on + coffee would have seen u right.
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I mean it shouldn't be an issue but what are ya gonna do. Oh, and for god's sake dont go buying flowers or anything. What we have here is a comms breakdown not a total mea culpa. Hang in there bro!
