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@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
I recently found the 'segments' thing on Strava, but probably as I dont run on 'normal routes' much for it to be useful, it mostly only compares my best times.
the fucking segments thing is the worst, especially when you get heckle from a mate who did them quicker than you.
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@mariner4life ha I haven't had that yet, most of the people I follow, we seem to run on quite different routes
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Sorry hijacking the fitness thread again.
Had a pretty deep and meaningful with lots of tears. Was pretty civil shes going to take action on finding someone for professional help. Lots of other shit discussed.
One of the biggest things which I 100% understand and we are both at a kind of standstill with.Providing/security. I have been trying to crack different entreprenuerial ventures over the last few years. This in the past has turned cashflow from my end of the relationship pretty unpredictable. I started a physio clinic in the meantime out of my GP friends clinic to provide a boost in cash flow. This has helped but I still put a bit into my side hustles that I want to turn into full time business. Put a shit load of work into it over the years (lots of learning particular in the online space).
She wants security and I understand that (currently we both earn about the same) particular to buy a place/start a family.
My problem is I don't love being a physio and its a means to an end. Basically said if my side hustle doesn't work my back up is being unhappy in my career.....if I was to retrain again wouldn't provide security etc. I genuinely feel at times from chasing my dreams i've held her back which makes me feel guilty.She doesn't want me stuck in a role I would hate. Also she said she feels like we have drifted apart due to the career paths being so different etc.
First step is her to talk to someone. We are going to re-evaluate in a couple of months (and keep talking). Hopefully the writing isnt already on the wall and we are both to scared to pull the trigger.
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@magpie_in_aus Can be daunting to think about: leaving after that long as a couple. Like a long-term job in a way, with the outside world looking scary, and questioning whether you can cut it after so long in the same place.
But you've started the conversation about what you both want, or feel like you're not getting, and that's what matters.
FOMO can be a big issue, particularly with the security of income angle. I know people who just go from job to job and some how make it work, even if they're out of action for a while. I have not out been out of employment since I was 21! Neither has the wife, and she's utterly fucking paranoid of either of us leaving a job and potentially not getting another one.
When I was coming up to Long Service Leave (10 years) I said to Mrs TA I would be quitting the company because they'd been shitting me for the last few years, and I'd had enough. She was mortified.
I'd like to try side hustles, particularly in my chosen area of energy and renewables, but until the kids are out and maybe a relative dies and leaves us a pile of cash as a buffer, that isn't really an option.
I say run with it - while being 100% happy isn't something I believe is possible, at the very least you need to have clear air to run your own race, and not be doing it for some other fluffybunny's performance review. Particularly where they're a dunce.
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wow @Magpie_in_aus that's serious if you are feeling like that. I honestly don't know how i would handle it if i had doubts about the future.
My best mate went through a real rough patch a couple of years back. Real bad. And i had to ask him if staying together is what he really wanted. When he thought, and responded "yes, definitely" then it sort of focused his mind on making that the priority over the side stuff.
Best of luck mate, sounds like a serious couple of months ahead. Shout out to us if you need a place to vent, or even just to articulate your thoughts.
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@Magpie_in_aus - what @mariner4life and @NTA have said
Good on you bro, no doubt that was a hard conversation to have. At the very least you've cleared the air and are finding out the really important things and drivers in your relationship. All the best and definitely hollah at ya boys if you need to yarn.
NTA has been mighty generous in letting us gate crash his thread. Shot bro!!
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@magpie_in_aus
without trying to sound like I have much expertise in this, it does sound from your posts that the issues you have are catalysts to your partner's behaviour. Her ways of dealing with things (and your reactions to that) would undoubtedly benefit from some form of counselling. It's not about some 'expert' having answers to fix things, it's all about finding the right person to draw out of you a personal understanding of your own behaviour so you can accept parts and reject others leading to change. I wish it was something I had done decades before I did.I can also support the example in M4Ls post. The wife and I came to that point where we seriously questioned the way forward (after 35 years) and decided that despite everything we really did want to stay together. That really helped drive changes.
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Back to me for a second
Ran 5km today in 28:23 - loaded up with last night's pizza binge, it wasn't much fun trying to guess if I'd shit myself halfway out.
Weigh in was notably rubbish at 98kg but fuck it, I'm part the point where the scales are anything but a measure of how hard it'll be to do chinups!
Chest: 114
Waist: 106
Hips: 108 -
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@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
@nta ah damn, now I know why @MN5 is so keen on those one armed push ups!
Always thought he was a bit dim, but seems he is pretty on to it!
I get enough sex to not need porn but it's handy having the option of the other arm free to chug beer while you're working out.
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@mn5 said in Back for more!:
@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
@nta ah damn, now I know why @MN5 is so keen on those one armed push ups!
Always thought he was a bit dim, but seems he is pretty on to it!
I get enough sex to not need porn but it's handy having the option of the other arm free to chug beer while you're working out.
Of all the bullshit written on this site over the years that takes the prize.
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@crucial said in Back for more!:
@mn5 said in Back for more!:
@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
@nta ah damn, now I know why @MN5 is so keen on those one armed push ups!
Always thought he was a bit dim, but seems he is pretty on to it!
I get enough sex to not need porn but it's handy having the option of the other arm free to chug beer while you're working out.
Of all the bullshit written on this site over the years that takes the prize.
Clearly you missed @jegga comparing ACDC to Nickelback.
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@crucial said in Back for more!:
@mn5 said in Back for more!:
@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
@nta ah damn, now I know why @MN5 is so keen on those one armed push ups!
Always thought he was a bit dim, but seems he is pretty on to it!
I get enough sex to not need porn but it's handy having the option of the other arm free to chug beer while you're working out.
Of all the bullshit written on this site over the years that takes the prize.
You could give him the benefit of the doubt here, he didn’t actually put a figure on how much is enough . Begrudgingly putting out on his birthday might be all he needs.
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@jegga said in Back for more!:
@crucial said in Back for more!:
@mn5 said in Back for more!:
@taniwharugby said in Back for more!:
@nta ah damn, now I know why @MN5 is so keen on those one armed push ups!
Always thought he was a bit dim, but seems he is pretty on to it!
I get enough sex to not need porn but it's handy having the option of the other arm free to chug beer while you're working out.
Of all the bullshit written on this site over the years that takes the prize.
You could give him the benefit of the doubt here, he didn’t actually put a figure on how much is enough . Begrudgingly putting out on his birthday might be all he needs.
My posting history should confirm I'm a man of very simple wants and needs
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Been a bit sick the last couple of weeks so minimal activity - lot of walking at an out-of-town wedding on the coast south of Sydney (Kiama - nice spot) and a bit of body weight just to keep the muscles awake.
Now (back on the female thing for a minute), here's an inane tale that got me into trouble:
As I've mentioned, on Tuesdays I do Pilates with a female friend from high school. She missed last week as it was her wedding anniversary, and then I got a message this week saying "I heard it isn't on this week?" which I'd not heard, so I told Mrs TA I wasn't going to Pilates.
Later, the friend sends "Did you just want to go to the same place* and grab a drink as we haven't caught up in a couple of weeks?".
*The complex we do Pilates in has other offices, the psyiotherapist who hosts Pilates, and a coffee shop downstairs.
Yeah alright fair enough. Told Mrs TA it was back on ("Mix up with the dates"), because in effect the friend and I were probably going to end up going for a walk or something anyway.
Turn up, Pilates is actually on so we decide to grab a coffee afterwards. Session started 10 minutes late due to the physio having a patient, we get our stretch/core work in, then go get a drink.
Timelines for reference: Pilates is 7PM for 1 hour, and after packing up and driving home I'm usually there by 8:30PM.
Anyway, at some point I look at my phone - which was still silenced due to concentrating on exercise - and its 8:50PM. Missed call from the wife and a text "U ok you are normally home by now?", both around 2030 hours.
Respond with "Hey sorry we just grabbed a coffee" and that I'd be home soon.
Get home and its very quiet and somewhat chilly. I didn't notice anything at first, then when she was practically unresponsive I asked if anything was the matter, and got told there wasn't
Wake up this morning, we go through getting ready for work, and I give her a big hug and told her I loved her and got ZERO in response. Pulled back and said "You seem upset, and I'd like to know why because maybe I can help"
"I am upset, and when I pin down exactly why, I'll tell you"
What
The
Fuck
??????????
