Awesome stuff you see on the internet
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<p>A rather timid review if the latest Coldplay album<br>
<a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://thequietus.com/articles/15274-coldplay-ghost-stories-review'>http://thequietus.com/articles/15274-coldplay-ghost-stories-review</a></p>
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<p>EDIT: I posted the link from my phone but here is an excerpt to give you the idea. This is an album review that appears to have been written by MvJ</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote">Anyway, Martin got married to fing Gwyneth Paltrow, that ghastly, gulping, giraffe-necked, sick-making long drink of carb-averse goop, they created their own fing hole in the fing ozone layer flying around the world with Martin warbling about how concerned they were about the fing environment, spawned a couple of sprogs and saddled them with life-ruining names, promoted every fing vapid strain of spiritual, anti-materialist New Age nonsense while raking in the fing ackers like whorehounds and then finally “consciously uncoupledâ€, though itâ€
s a fing wonder either of them could stay fing conscious in each otherâ€s company at all, given that theyâ€re the two most testicle-achingly fing tedious people on earth! And now Chris is sad. He feels like shit. And heâ€s perfectly conveyed that unremittingly fing excremental condition on f***ing Ghost Stories!
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<p>..and that's only a small part of it.</p> -
<p>[b][url=http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/jeremy-paxman-asks-silvio-berlusconi-is-it-true-you-called-angela-merkel-an-unfckable-lardarse-9401897.html]Jeremy Paxman asks Silvio Berlusconi: 'Is it true you called Angela Merkel an 'unfuckable lard-arse'?'[/url][/b]</p>
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<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/yorker-anton-purisima-files-worlds-largest-lawsuit-over-114716920.html'>https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/yorker-anton-purisima-files-worlds-largest-lawsuit-over-114716920.html</a></p>
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<p>A Manhattan man has filed the world's largest lawsuit – seeking $<strong>2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000 </strong>in damages – (yes really, not a typo) - over a dog bite and being overcharged for a cup of coffee.</p>
<p>Anton Purisima has filed his <strong>two undecillion dollar </strong>lawsuit after he claims his middle finger was bitten and infected by a "rabies-infected" dog on a city bus, that he paid more for coffee than he should have at LaGuardia Airport and a Chinese couple took pictures of him without asking.</p>
<p>Two undecillion dollars or the number two with 36 zeros behind it - is more money than currently exists on the planet.</p>
<p>"Even if Au Bon Pain conquers the planet and puts everyone to work for them from now until the stars die, they wouldn't make a dent in the bill," reported What If?</p>
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<p>According to <a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://www.loweringthebar.net/2014/05/2-undecillion-dollar-demand.html'>Lowering The Bar</a>, Purisima filed the hand-written lawsuit (below) in a federal court on 11 April and is representing himself. The list of defendents include Au Bon Pain Store, Hoboken University Medical Center and New York City Transit Authority.</p>
<p>It states his pain and additional damages "cannot be repaired by money" and is "therefore priceless". He includes evidence of his injured finger.</p>
<p>Civil rights violations, personal injury, discrimination on national origin, retaliation, harassment, fraud, attempted murder, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and conspiracy to defraud. $2,000 decillion ($2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000).</p>
<br><p><em>Anton Purisima v. Au Bon Pain Store, Carepoint Health, Hoboken University Medical Center, Kmart Store 7749, St. Luke's Emergency Dept., New York City Transit Authority, City of New York, NYC MTA, LaGuardia Airport Administration, Amy Caggiula, Does 1-1000, Case No. 1:14 CV 2755 (S.D.N.Y. filed 4/11/2014).</em></p>
<p>Pro Se</p>
<p>In the last four years, Purisima, who can safely be described as litigious, has filed lawsuits against the People's Republic of China and several major banks including Wells Fargo, JP Morgan, and Wachovia.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Crucial" data-cid="429970" data-time="1400664632">
<div>
<p>A rather timid review if the latest Coldplay album<br><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://thequietus.com/articles/15274-coldplay-ghost-stories-review'>http://thequietus.com/articles/15274-coldplay-ghost-stories-review</a></p>
<p> </p>
<p>EDIT: I posted the link from my phone but here is an excerpt to give you the idea. This is an album review that appears to have been written by MvJ</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>..and that's only a small part of it.</p>
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</blockquote>
<p>that's pretty ranty and sweary, and so, unsurprisingly, i love it</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote">No, kids, he doesnâ€t mean genitalia. Martin and Paltrow are like 1930s Disney nymphs, they donâ€t fing have genitalia. He means fing feelings, the c***
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</blockquote>
<p>I really don't like Coldplay, so i was cheering this all the way through. </p> -
<p>get fucked. this putt is ridiculous (sorry for the link, but the youtube videos don't show it in all its glory)</p>
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<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://www.golfdigest.com/blogs/the-loop/2014/05/underrated-moments-in-golf-his.html'>http://www.golfdigest.com/blogs/the-loop/2014/05/underrated-moments-in-golf-his.html</a></p> -
<p>Love it!</p>
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<p>Bet he couldn't do it again though!!</p> -
<p>Crazy fecker!!</p>
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<p>About 2.15 or so in</p>
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<p>[media] -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Unite" data-cid="432320" data-time="1401879369">
'></a></p>
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<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='
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<p>Love Key & Peele. I can't get enough of this one:</p>
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<p>If you like Reality Cooking Show contests, then I think they get this pretty spot on:</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Chris B." data-cid="432218" data-time="1401832326">
'></a></p>
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<p>Nearly time for the Soccer World Cup so you may need to know, Why playing football is against God.</p>
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<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='
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<p>Not really safe for work.</p>
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<p>I really need to stop thinking that nsfw only means titties.... le sigh</p>
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<p>still pretty funny though!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>but no titties!</p> -
<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/06/08/magazine/world-cup-curse-of-maracana.html?hp'>http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/06/08/magazine/world-cup-curse-of-maracana.html?hp</a></p>
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<p></p><p></p><blockquote class="ipsBlockquote"><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Pétomane'>http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Pétomane</a><br><br>
Le PÃ
tomane (/lÉˈpÉ›tÉmeɪn/, French pronunciation: ​[lÉpetɔˈman]) was the stage name of the French flatulist (professional farter) and entertainer Joseph Pujol (June 1, 1857 – 1945). He was famous for his remarkable control of the abdominal muscles, which enabled him to seemingly fart at will. His stage name combines the French verb pÃter, "to fart" with the -mane, "-maniac" suffix, which translates to "fartomaniac". The profession is also referred to as "flatulist", "farteur", or "fartiste".[1]<br><br>
It is a common misconception that Joseph Pujol actually passed intestinal gas as part of his stage performance. Rather, Pujol was able to "inhale" or move air into his rectum and then control the release of that air with his anal sphincter muscles. Evidence of his ability to control those muscles was seen in the early accounts of demonstrations of his abilities to fellow soldiers.</blockquote> -
<p><img src="http://i.imgur.com/Ed5Xxgr.png" alt="Ed5Xxgr.png"></p>
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<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='https://www.facebook.com/Jeroom.Inc'>https://www.facebook.com/Jeroom.Inc</a></p>
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<p>New favourite cartoonist</p>
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<p><img src="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t31.0-8/1941396_266006063564656_1175616409_o.jpg" alt="1941396_266006063564656_1175616409_o.jpg"></p> -
<p><img src="http://i.imgur.com/7q7K4FB.gif" alt="7q7K4FB.gif"></p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Tim" data-cid="434458" data-time="1402516636">
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<p><img src="http://i.imgur.com/7q7K4FB.gif" alt="7q7K4FB.gif"></p>
</div>
</blockquote>
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<p>That is such a Homer Simpson moment!</p>
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<p>scrreeeeech... Phew!..... Doh!!!</p> -
<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://www.dailydot.com/entertainment/man-flees-great-white-shark-in-underwater-video/'>http://www.dailydot.com/entertainment/man-flees-great-white-shark-in-underwater-video/</a></p>
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<p>Guy jumps into sydney harbour with a go-pro, surfaces, friends say "shark, behind you"</p>
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<p>(there's video obviously)</p>
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<p>Most awesome bit is, its a great white, and it coasts about looking bemused while the guy flails about shitting himself & screaming. Then he will tell anyone who will listen how close he came to death, despite the fact that the shark a) was never even interested & b) could have killed him at anytime & c) if anything was actually more likely to give him a "what is this?" bite due to his panicked 5 year old girl flailing... </p>
