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@mariner4life easy tiger. I've been cheated on and would never do it to someone else, particularly a partner of 20 years.
The friend has had an affair earlier in her marriage and realises it is too damaging to sustain.
We know where the boundaries are and we stay well back from them.
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@nta said in Back for more!:
@mariner4life easy tiger. I've been cheated on and would never do it to someone else, particularly a partner of 20 years.
The friend has had an affair earlier in her marriage and realises it is too damaging to sustain.
We know where the boundaries are and we stay well back from them.
well, if we are going to be serious about this serious issue...
optics are huge, sometimes even bigger than reality
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@nta said in Back for more!:
@jegga nowhere near as hot as my wife in physical or mental terms, IMHO. She's a good laugh and we have jokes about the old days and the fact she fucked some of my mates but not me etc
Shares similar frustrations about her marriage in that she's the one initiating sex more than her other half.
Maaaaaaate
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did... did i just stumble on to an Incel forum by accident?
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@mariner4life said in Back for more!:
did... did i just stumble on to an Incel forum by accident?
Can you be in a relationship and be an incel ?....... asking for... a friend.
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This is all genuinely fascinating. I've simmered down a bit and will continue to ponder these lines of thinking.
(And @Rocky-Rockbottom it is actually classed as a dwarf planet)
In any case, I got home and she was finishing some work on her laptop, and the cold spell had lessened significantly. Mainly she wanted to show me some letter her office got from a solicitor which was a fucking funny read.
So either she's considered her stance and decided it isn't worth mulling over any longer.
More likely, shit is about to hit the fan in new and heretofore unseen ways.
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Could be worse, you could be Dayne Zorko who is so fucked now his missus has gone through his phone, and found all the filthy messages to his side-chick, and loaded them to instagram...
2nd AFL player in two weeks. Change your passcodes you fucking idiots
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@nta said in Back for more!:
This is all genuinely fascinating. I've simmered down a bit and will continue to ponder these lines of thinking.
(And @Rocky-Rockbottom it is actually classed as a dwarf planet)
In any case, I got home and she was finishing some work on her laptop, and the cold spell had lessened significantly. Mainly she wanted to show me some letter her office got from a solicitor which was a fucking funny read.
So either she's considered her stance and decided it isn't worth mulling over any longer.
More likely, shit is about to hit the fan in new and heretofore unseen ways.
Yeah nah, there's a good chance she's filed it away to add to use as extra ammunition if you fuck up on a similar or worse scale in the next month or so. If you're having an argument and she sense that you might be getting the upper hand or she might be wrong the next thing you know you'll be defending yourself on two fronts.
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@jegga said in Back for more!:
Yeah nah, there's a good chance she's filed it away to add to use as extra ammunition if you fuck up on a similar or worse scale in the next
monthforever or so.Fixed.
And I never get the upper hand in the arguments
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@mariner4life said in Back for more!:
Could be worse, you could be Dayne Zorko who is so fucked now his missus has gone through his phone, and found all the filthy messages to his side-chick, and loaded them to instagram...
2nd AFL player in two weeks. Change your passcodes you fucking idiots
Fingerprint!
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@nta said in Back for more!:
@jegga said in Back for more!:
Yeah nah, there's a good chance she's filed it away to add to use as extra ammunition if you fuck up on a similar or worse scale in the next
monthforever or so.Fixed.
And I never get the upper hand in the arguments
Ah the old " I know I'm right but if I push it I'll jeopardise my slim chances of having sex" gambit.
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Jeez not getting much sympathy here Nick.
I think the point you are trying to make is its fine to be pissed off about you not updating here but say so. Its not fine to treat you like shit for something she either isn't sure about or is but can't be arsed to tell you about.
So if you don't know what you are annoyed with him for how about not being annoyed until you do know.
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@NTA - back to the original story. Could it be that it is you that is reading way too much into the situation? Maybe Mrs NTA was simply grumpy because she was sitting at home not feeling any control of her situation because she didn't know where you were?
Mrs C is great at randomly changing her plans and 'probably leaving for home in 30 mins' becomes hours later as someone suggests a quick drink after work. It isn't WHAT she is doing but when you get home waiting for ages not knowing whether your partner is likely to walk in the door any minute or want picking up in a few hours you feel a little in limbo and not relaxed. Just like Mrs NTA, you can't pinpoint why you feel this way and feel a little stupid for it but hey, it's where you end up and it's hard to be all happy, cheery when they do arrive.
I think the 'friend' thing is a red herring in your own mind. You would probably know if your missus was jealous. -
@crucial a mate of mine here said the same thing: the friend issue is peripheral to the fact that I wasn't running in the channels she expected. This may be why she's since settled down, realising its not a big deal after giving it some thought.
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There is always a disconnect when it comes to the communications when one is out and the other is at home.
If Mrs Mariner is out, or even away, I pretty much just leave her to it. Have fun, message me if you want (or if you are away, when you can) otherwise have fun and I'll see you when i see you.
If i am out however there reaches a point where the "what are you doing?" "when are you coming home?" messages start. Bear in mind i am never out late because i like to sleep too much, midnight is a huuuge night for me (for that matter i very rarely go out without her, as i would rather drink at my own house). If i go away it's even worse. Messages, calls etc. Fuck, just let me have my fun! I know you miss me, but more importantly have FOMO, but seriously...
It usually starts with the raising of the possibility of plans
Her: I am going out for a drink with the girls on Friday (not the lack of question in that statement)
Me: Sweet, do you want me to drop you at work so you don't have a car?Me: Might go for a beer with the guys on Saturday
Her: oh yea, why? where? how long do you reckon? -
@mariner4life and there's an added bit of spice (in our situation) when the party staying home is also looking after a kid!!
I'm with you. I'm all about go and have fun, do you need a lift, stay safe and catch you later. I don't tend to get reminders while I'm out. But if things are going longer than anticipated I tend to send a text to keep her posted.
But I'm not fucking whipped ok... I'm my own man.. asdhalkiyfaoi...My wife is awesome and beautiful... help me, she's watching me type this!!
lol, I'm rarely out late these days. If I am it's more likely to be a gaming session at my bro-in-laws or a longer gym session than out on the piss.
But in my exp a bit of preemptive contact does the trick. Whether that's fair or not is another conversation!
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@paekakboyz said in Back for more!:
@mariner4life and there's an added bit of spice (in our situation) when the party staying home is also looking after a kid!!
I'm with you. I'm all about go and have fun, do you need a lift, stay safe and catch you later. I don't get the reminders while I'm out but like you that's not often too late, more likely to be a gaming session at my brother in laws or a longer gym session than out on the piss.
yea yea you're better than us
Yea, being left at home with the boys is probably part of it. I am more used to the solo-parent lark than she is.
It might also be that i so rarely do it, that it comes as a shock to the system!
The main issue is for my mental health i sort of need to spend time around other people, where as she is the complete opposite, and needs her quiet alone time. So we have a run of staying home, not seeing people, which is great for her, but i can feel myself getting down because of it. We are both aware of that though, and have talked it through. It came to a head a couple of months ago, where i cancelled some plans to stay home with her, and she proceeded to spend the arvo in our room watching TV on her phone and chilling out. That pissed me off.
Sorry Nick, we have completely taken over your training thread!! Rename it the Fern Mental Health thread. Vent to feel better!
