Anzac Day
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Happy ANZAC Day all.
Respects were paid the traditional solemn way this morning.
This afternoon we've closed our street. Beers and food.
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A sober reminder in today's Australian newspaper - Rocket was a mate of mine.
No escaping pain after seeing ‘black demon’ steal loving husband and father
When she thinks of her husband, Queen Dunbar cherishes the memory of the wonderful man he was, not what the “black demon” did to him after Afghanistan.
As Australians commemorate the service and sacrifice of those who fought for this country, Ms Dunbar wants Adam’s story told because it’s the side of the Anzac legend that plays out in the shadows, the living nightmare of combat trauma for veterans and their families.
It ended all too tragically for her husband. Despite medical help and the love of his wife and their two children, 42-year-old Adam Dunbar committed suicide in November 2017, stricken by PTSD.
“I call it the black demon because that’s what it was like when it got hold of him,” Ms Dunbar said. “It was like something was riding him. This person that I loved changed in front of my eyes; we fought it and fought it, but it was always there and in the end it took over.”
The casualty count is still rising, even though the last Australian combat troops left Afghanistan five years ago, ending the longest war this nation has fought.
Deaths by suicide of returned soldiers dwarf the 41 killed on active duty between 2002 and 2014 in Afghanistan. The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare reported last year that the incidence of ex-servicemen under 30 dying by their own hand was 2.2 times that of Australian civilian men the same age. In the period 2001-16, 373 serving, reserve and ex-serving military personnel had committed suicide, the study found.
“Any suicide is a tragedy and it is an issue that impacts on all Australians,” the Department of Veterans’ Affairs said. “Around eight Australians a day take their own life and suicide remains the greatest cause of death for men between the ages of 14 and 44.”
It’s hard for Ms Dunbar to talk about Adam’s struggle with PTSD. His life was the army and their family. A career officer, he graduated from Duntroon in 1999 and quickly rose to become a major in the artillery.
In 2005, he deployed to Iraq with an Australian taskforce at the height of the insurgency there. He then accepted a demotion in rank, to captain, and transferred to army intelligence because he wanted to be closer to the action. In 2011, he was sent to Afghanistan.
Ms Dunbar said he experienced at least four traumatic events in the war zone, one of them involving the death of a friend. He had learnt Arabic and was posted to Jordan on his return to polish his language skills. The kids, Joshua, now 16, and Sarah, 12, were settled in school, so they decided that Adam should go alone.
That’s when his spiral began.
“He was a different man when he came home,” his widow said. “He became very internal. He would go for days and days when I would not see him. He struggled with noise, he struggled with light. He lived in a room that was like a cave.”
He saw army psychiatrists, went in and out of hospital. A fit, active man, he hated it when his weight ballooned on the medication, up to 20kg at a time. It would eventually come off, but then the tablets would stop working and he would have to go on a new drug and the cycle would start all over again.
At first it was a relief to know he had post-traumatic stress disorder — at least the demon had a name, Ms Dunbar said. But nothing could prepare for the family for its impact. Adam stopped sleeping. He would prowl the house through the night. The kids had to learn not to slam the door when they arrived home from school; it would spook dad. He became a ghost to them.
“I was expecting the flashbacks, but the insomnia was something else,” Ms Dunbar said. Bit by bit, the man she loved slipped away. “People think PTSD is an illness … you take some drugs and it’s like an antibiotic, the problem goes away. But it’s not like that at all. It’s a cycle … you are always fighting it and it’s always coming at you.”
His death was a terrible thing for the family. Numb with grief, Ms Dunbar didn’t know how she would cope. They had a mortgage and debts. The children were distraught. But Legacy, the charity set up after World War I to help the widows of the original Anzacs and their successors, stepped in, and the three of them came through “pure hell” together, she said.
Today, Sarah will lay a wreath at the Martin Place Cenotaph in Sydney while Joshua will be a flag-bearer in the Legacy service for Anzac Day. Ms Dunbar will be looking on, proud of the kids.
Most of all, she will be remembering a conversation she had with her husband when he was deep in the throes of his struggle with PTSD. Did he regret it? she asked him. Did he regret going to war in the service of his country? Adam looked at her and said: “Never.”
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Haven’t done my usual ANZAC war movie watching, instead I spent much of the day moving furniture from my property, niggly but necessary shit.
Tonight I’ll be taking my boys to the BBall and enjoying beer and pizza with them and their stepdad.
God fucken bless my grandparents for helping make these little pleasures and freedoms possible
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A sad, sad story - good on you Antipodean for bringing that tale of the harsh realities forward here today.
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Chilly service in Armidale this morning. Got the kids out of bed at the motel what I thought was on time but they must have started before 0600.
Anyway, rural Australia does its service right. The veterans formed their own parade at the service and stood attention and at ease during the entire thing.
First dawn service i'd ever been to, actually. Shed a few tears for those service men gone before - family and friends - and some for my Dad, who never served, but loved nothing more than to sing "Abide With Me".
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RSA saying thousands fewer attended ANZAC services in Akl this year.
I guess the fact that Easter and ANZAC Day coupled with school holidays meant some people took the opportunity to take a long break but in 2018 there were 84 commemorations in Auckland but only 26 yesterday. It took more effort to attend and I guess a lot of folks found it too hard or were put off by the fear-mongering. Very disappointing
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For any one interested that photo was taken at the Messine Ridge Memorial at Mesen.
If anyone is doing a battlefield tour or just visiting the area, I really recommend Mesen as a stop for Kiwis. Way more connected to us than to others so can be overlooked in organised tours. Do a little research first as there are a few sites in a small area and stuff there that you could easily miss.
The Nga Tapuwae trails app is a must https://ngatapuwae.govt.nz -
@Crucial I was wondering what prompted you posting that photo. I never went to Mesen but did visit Tyne Cot, Buttes, Polygon Wood and Nine Elms. There were a few other NZ-related memorials in the Passchendale region. I took plenty of photos.
Edit: I assume because of Armistice Day.
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@Crucial I was wondering what prompted you posting that photo. I never went to Mesen but did visit Tyne Cot, Buttes, Polygon Wood and Nine Elms. There were a few other NZ-related memorials in the Passchendale region. I took plenty of photos.
Edit: I assume because of Armistice Day.
Yeah, was Armistice day related (posted at the 11th hour....). I am still in Europe mode so AD is more prevalent than it is in NZ where we tend to lump everything in with ANZAC Day.
The missus had been taken on a bit of an 'official' tour of the region and then the two of us went back to do it ourselves. The locals that took her party had picked out a lot of relevant NZ stuff to see.
Based ourselves in Ypres and did Mesen, Passchendaele, Tyne Cot, Nine Elms, Polygon, Ypres then fitted in Les Quesnoy back over the border.
All easily doable in a weekend (we drove over on Friday evening, back Sunday) so if anyone is doing a UK trip it is not that difficult to squeeze in f you are interested in this stuff. Well worth it. -
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@Crucial I was wondering what prompted you posting that photo. I never went to Mesen but did visit Tyne Cot, Buttes, Polygon Wood and Nine Elms. There were a few other NZ-related memorials in the Passchendale region. I took plenty of photos.
Edit: I assume because of Armistice Day.
Yeah, was Armistice day related (posted at the 11th hour....). I am still in Europe mode so AD is more prevalent than it is in NZ where we tend to lump everything in with ANZAC Day.
Not a huge turn out in Whangarei, but still a hundred or so. Quite few attendees spaced around the edge of the green. A large number of Vietnam Vets there.
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@Machpants Where is that shot taken? I can't picture where it is.
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@JC Laurie Hall Carpark (to the left is the waterfall that isnt falling with water) that Statue used to be on Rose St (at bottom of Bank Street) but was moved 5 or 6 years back when they did that memorial.
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@taniwharugby said in Anzac Day:
@JC Laurie Hall Carpark, that Statue used to be on Rose St, but was moved 5 or 6 years back
Ah, OK, that makes sense. I thought the statue looked like the one from down by the Grand Hotel. Glad they finally found something worthy to do with that area. Do you remember the embarrassment that was the glass fountain?
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