Parenting
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@Catogrande he came in last night crying with relief that she still says she has feelings for him.
He was using the word "love" a bit which ii found both hilarious and cute.
Now we will see if she just felt pressured into doing it or is actually keen on him.
At that age boys are playing checkers and girls are playing chess. Come to think of it.......
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@Catogrande he came in last night crying with relief that she still says she has feelings for him.
He was using the word "love" a bit which ii found both hilarious and cute.
Now we will see if she just felt pressured into doing it or is actually keen on him.
At that age boys are playing checkers and girls are playing chess. Come to think of it.......
I can't even get a pawn on the board these days
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@Catogrande he came in last night crying with relief that she still says she has feelings for him.
He was using the word "love" a bit which ii found both hilarious and cute.
Now we will see if she just felt pressured into doing it or is actually keen on him.
At that age boys are playing checkers and girls are playing chess. Come to think of it.......
I can't even get a pawn on the board these days
Yes we remember, it was one of my finest moments.
Good to hear 2020 is still going well for Mrs NTA there -
@Catogrande he came in last night crying with relief that she still says she has feelings for him.
He was using the word "love" a bit which ii found both hilarious and cute.
Now we will see if she just felt pressured into doing it or is actually keen on him.
At that age boys are playing checkers and girls are playing chess. Come to think of it.......
I can't even get a pawn on the board these days
Only online mate
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If it makes anyone feel any better, I read that a child's personality/behaviours is only down to around 10% parenting.
If you have two children do you think you could parent one to be the other? Highly unlikely, a lot is genes, and a very large part is the culture/era/friends that they grow up with which you have very little control over. Most of us grew up in a different era without phones, internet and had unlimited freedom and very little supervision. That helped shape who we are.
I think the best thing you can do as a parent is be a role model. If you lose your temper, yell at your kids/spouse, don't clean up after yourself etc etc, your kids will 100% pick that up.
As an anecdote I was born in the 70's, got smacked on the arse, starting mowing lawns and doing chores as soon as I was able, had to get myself to school as mum was at work. We didn't have a lot of money, so I spent most my free time with mates in the bush, creek, bush and playing sport.
Most people who make something from nothing say they never want their kids to live in hardship like they did, but we forget the hardships we faced are what made us into the people we are today. I wouldn't change my childhood for anything and its funny, the biggest gift my mum gave me was freedom, independence, responsibility, and consequences. These didn't cost her a cent.
How you stop your kids being narcissistic little fluffybunnies is shaping as one of the hardest questions to answer I reckon.
One interesting side note is they say working mums spend more one on one time with their kids now then a stay at home mum did back when we were kids.
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@chimoaus I agree, all of us are what we are from birth. My kids' personalities are no different from when they were young, all you can hope for is to modulate the weaker parts of their personality and encourage their best ones. It is a tough balancing act between giving them more than you had and turning them into spoiled brats. Boils down to limit setting, routine and consistency right from the word go
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@Catogrande he came in last night crying with relief that she still says she has feelings for him.
He was using the word "love" a bit which ii found both hilarious and cute.
Now we will see if she just felt pressured into doing it or is actually keen on him.
At that age boys are playing checkers and girls are playing chess. Come to think of it.......
I can't even get a pawn on the board these days
Yes we remember, it was one of my finest moments.
Good to hear 2020 is still going well for Mrs NTA thererehashing the same joke? sad
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There is a lot of FOMO for kids these days. When I was at school in the 80s and early 90s it might be that some kid had fancy shoes or a nice watch but out of sight, out of mind. As long as I could go home and rattle off a box of .22 at a few coke cans, or head into the bush to burn off some energy, it was less of an issue.
Now the little bastards "flex" (that's the word they use) their possessions and experiences on social media and it is non-stop. And they've got celebrities at their fingertips just to show them how good they don't have it.
"Don't read beauty magazines - they will only make you feel ugly".
That said, the boy shares many of my flaws which is jumping into things a bit too fast. So when this little swipe at a relationship ends, it'll be nuclear in emotional terms.
For the daughter unit, everything is a fucking tragedy if she doesn't exceed her own lofty standards, but she recovers from that pretty fast.
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@NTA my mum used to make some of my clothes, so what I did was cut the tag off some of the branded stuff I had and get her to sew it on the shorts she made me!
Yeah we know TR Jnr is gonna go 0-100 with a girl, and then back down when it ends!
We just tell him he knows his family are here to help no matter what.
Last weekend he stayed at a mates, and I had overheard a conversation about some who would be there were into drugs, some gang connections, booze etc (some of this was a bit of bravado based on the other bits I over heard too)
He had been an absolute cock all weekend and had barely said a word on the 30 min drive to drop him off, but I reminded him, even though he was a great big douche, if he needed me to pick him up, for any reason at any time, he only needed to ask.
Got a "yeah I know dad"
Thats all you can do as they go through the best years of thier lives, even though they dont know it yet!!
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@taniwharugby said in Parenting:
Last weekend he stayed at a mates, and I had overheard a conversation about some who would be there were into drugs, some gang connections, booze etc (some of this was a bit of bravado based on the other bits I over heard too)
Ugh. Mate of mine at the rugby club has a 15yo who is acquainted with a kid running a black market vape operation. Total little dickhead.
The boy goes to a nice (Catholic) school which is overpopulated with fuckheads, and I wonder how that can be. Then of course I think about the parents, which is not necessarily the issue, because teenagers are often fuckheads for little reason other than unrestrained hormones
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@mariner4life said in No kids, any regrets?:
@NTA said in No kids, any regrets?:
Women raise children.
Men raise adults.that may be true in your house, but it's a massive generalisation that seriously undersells a lot of the women i know
Yes it is a massive generalisation, but every bloke in my friendship circle gives it at least part credence based on their lived experience, so it isn't a bad anecdote.
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@mariner4life said in No kids, any regrets?:
@NTA said in No kids, any regrets?:
Women raise children.
Men raise adults.that may be true in your house, but it's a massive generalisation that seriously undersells a lot of the women i know
Yes it is a massive generalisation, but every bloke in my friendship circle gives it at least part credence based on their lived experience, so it isn't a bad anecdote.
funny. i think back to me childhood and i don't really remember specifically "how i was raised" i have an impression of mum being in charge, and dad being the fun one. it would be an interesting exercise to have it unpicked if i ever flip out and need therapy.
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Out of interest to the parents, how have you spoken to your teenage boys/girls about what they should expect or act during sex? It is clear they will be watching a lot of porn and I wonder how that shapes their first sexual experience and how they treat the female/male.
I think girls are at risk of being treated poorly by boys purely because their only reference is porn. I must admit I was naive to the womans needs when I was 16-17. I would tell my 16 year old self to get a little silver bullet for the girl which will likely lead to a lot more sex.
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Out of interest to the parents, how have you spoken to your teenage boys/girls about what they should expect or act during sex? It is clear they will be watching a lot of porn and I wonder how that shapes their first sexual experience and how they treat the female/male.
I think girls are at risk of being treated poorly by boys purely because their only reference is porn. I must admit I was naive to the womans needs when I was 16-17. I would tell my 16 year old self to get a little silver bullet for the girl which will likely lead to a lot more sex.
No.
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
@mariner4life said in No kids, any regrets?:
@NTA said in No kids, any regrets?:
Women raise children.
Men raise adults.that may be true in your house, but it's a massive generalisation that seriously undersells a lot of the women i know
Yes it is a massive generalisation, but every bloke in my friendship circle gives it at least part credence based on their lived experience, so it isn't a bad anecdote.
funny. i think back to me childhood and i don't really remember specifically "how i was raised" i have an impression of mum being in charge, and dad being the fun one. it would be an interesting exercise to have it unpicked if i ever flip out and need therapy.
Mum was the punisher in our house. Dad never hit/smacked us. He would threaten it and that was always more than enough.
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@Hooroo yeah was more 'Wait til your dad gets home'
I only remember my dad kicking me up the arse once...I was baout 10 and opened the car door while moving to push my brother out, so I probably deserved it...neither of my parents or brother remember it!
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@taniwharugby said in Parenting:
@Hooroo yeah was more 'Wait til your dad gets home'
I only remember my dad kicking me up the arse once...I was baout 10 and opened the car door while moving to push my brother out, so I probably deserved it...neither of my parents or brother remember it!
That's muscle memory for you!
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Out of interest to the parents, how have you spoken to your teenage boys/girls about what they should expect or act during sex? It is clear they will be watching a lot of porn and I wonder how that shapes their first sexual experience and how they treat the female/male.
I've had words to the boy to that effect - porn isn't real life and if you expect any different, prepare for disappointment.
Also, masturbation is absolutely OK. Especially if you're planning on getting married.
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Out of interest to the parents, how have you spoken to your teenage boys/girls about what they should expect or act during sex? It is clear they will be watching a lot of porn and I wonder how that shapes their first sexual experience and how they treat the female/male.
I've had words to the boy to that effect - porn isn't real life and if you expect any different, prepare for disappointment.
Also, masturbation is absolutely OK. Especially if you're planning on getting married.
Lol, gave me a good laugh, probably the wisest words your boy will ever hear.
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
@mariner4life said in No kids, any regrets?:
@NTA said in No kids, any regrets?:
Women raise children.
Men raise adults.that may be true in your house, but it's a massive generalisation that seriously undersells a lot of the women i know
Yes it is a massive generalisation, but every bloke in my friendship circle gives it at least part credence based on their lived experience, so it isn't a bad anecdote.
funny. i think back to me childhood and i don't really remember specifically "how i was raised" i have an impression of mum being in charge, and dad being the fun one. it would be an interesting exercise to have it unpicked if i ever flip out and need therapy.
My Mum was a Registered Nurse all over country South Australia and a bit in NT. She was therefore perfectly comfortable with the persona of crusty bitch with a very short temper.
Later on I found that was largely due to being an unexpected child with a range of health problems including a few birth defects. Her Dad (who she adored) died when she was 21. Her own Mum was therefore left to be an old maid (teacher) who doted on Mum's younger brother (also a fluffybunny and a teacher) and Mum's older sister (teacher) was a bitch.
So I remember being fearful of my Mum in a way my kids have no concept today.
Dad was a bit more easygoing but still not exactly the sympathetic type, having had his own family bullshit. He and Mum left the families behind in SA when they moved to NSW a year after I was born, and so there was always a tension there.
Perhaps that shapes some of my attitude toward raising kids but I'm not an utter bastard - just need them to understand that the milk n cookies train stops at the point where they're in the way of the European vacation I've waited a long time to have with Mrs TA.
