Parenting
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@mariner4life said in No kids, any regrets?:
@NTA said in No kids, any regrets?:
Women raise children.
Men raise adults.that may be true in your house, but it's a massive generalisation that seriously undersells a lot of the women i know
Yes it is a massive generalisation, but every bloke in my friendship circle gives it at least part credence based on their lived experience, so it isn't a bad anecdote.
funny. i think back to me childhood and i don't really remember specifically "how i was raised" i have an impression of mum being in charge, and dad being the fun one. it would be an interesting exercise to have it unpicked if i ever flip out and need therapy.
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Out of interest to the parents, how have you spoken to your teenage boys/girls about what they should expect or act during sex? It is clear they will be watching a lot of porn and I wonder how that shapes their first sexual experience and how they treat the female/male.
I think girls are at risk of being treated poorly by boys purely because their only reference is porn. I must admit I was naive to the womans needs when I was 16-17. I would tell my 16 year old self to get a little silver bullet for the girl which will likely lead to a lot more sex.
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Out of interest to the parents, how have you spoken to your teenage boys/girls about what they should expect or act during sex? It is clear they will be watching a lot of porn and I wonder how that shapes their first sexual experience and how they treat the female/male.
I think girls are at risk of being treated poorly by boys purely because their only reference is porn. I must admit I was naive to the womans needs when I was 16-17. I would tell my 16 year old self to get a little silver bullet for the girl which will likely lead to a lot more sex.
No.
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
@mariner4life said in No kids, any regrets?:
@NTA said in No kids, any regrets?:
Women raise children.
Men raise adults.that may be true in your house, but it's a massive generalisation that seriously undersells a lot of the women i know
Yes it is a massive generalisation, but every bloke in my friendship circle gives it at least part credence based on their lived experience, so it isn't a bad anecdote.
funny. i think back to me childhood and i don't really remember specifically "how i was raised" i have an impression of mum being in charge, and dad being the fun one. it would be an interesting exercise to have it unpicked if i ever flip out and need therapy.
Mum was the punisher in our house. Dad never hit/smacked us. He would threaten it and that was always more than enough.
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@Hooroo yeah was more 'Wait til your dad gets home'
I only remember my dad kicking me up the arse once...I was baout 10 and opened the car door while moving to push my brother out, so I probably deserved it...neither of my parents or brother remember it!
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@taniwharugby said in Parenting:
@Hooroo yeah was more 'Wait til your dad gets home'
I only remember my dad kicking me up the arse once...I was baout 10 and opened the car door while moving to push my brother out, so I probably deserved it...neither of my parents or brother remember it!
That's muscle memory for you!
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Out of interest to the parents, how have you spoken to your teenage boys/girls about what they should expect or act during sex? It is clear they will be watching a lot of porn and I wonder how that shapes their first sexual experience and how they treat the female/male.
I've had words to the boy to that effect - porn isn't real life and if you expect any different, prepare for disappointment.
Also, masturbation is absolutely OK. Especially if you're planning on getting married.
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Out of interest to the parents, how have you spoken to your teenage boys/girls about what they should expect or act during sex? It is clear they will be watching a lot of porn and I wonder how that shapes their first sexual experience and how they treat the female/male.
I've had words to the boy to that effect - porn isn't real life and if you expect any different, prepare for disappointment.
Also, masturbation is absolutely OK. Especially if you're planning on getting married.
Lol, gave me a good laugh, probably the wisest words your boy will ever hear.
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
@mariner4life said in No kids, any regrets?:
@NTA said in No kids, any regrets?:
Women raise children.
Men raise adults.that may be true in your house, but it's a massive generalisation that seriously undersells a lot of the women i know
Yes it is a massive generalisation, but every bloke in my friendship circle gives it at least part credence based on their lived experience, so it isn't a bad anecdote.
funny. i think back to me childhood and i don't really remember specifically "how i was raised" i have an impression of mum being in charge, and dad being the fun one. it would be an interesting exercise to have it unpicked if i ever flip out and need therapy.
My Mum was a Registered Nurse all over country South Australia and a bit in NT. She was therefore perfectly comfortable with the persona of crusty bitch with a very short temper.
Later on I found that was largely due to being an unexpected child with a range of health problems including a few birth defects. Her Dad (who she adored) died when she was 21. Her own Mum was therefore left to be an old maid (teacher) who doted on Mum's younger brother (also a fluffybunny and a teacher) and Mum's older sister (teacher) was a bitch.
So I remember being fearful of my Mum in a way my kids have no concept today.
Dad was a bit more easygoing but still not exactly the sympathetic type, having had his own family bullshit. He and Mum left the families behind in SA when they moved to NSW a year after I was born, and so there was always a tension there.
Perhaps that shapes some of my attitude toward raising kids but I'm not an utter bastard - just need them to understand that the milk n cookies train stops at the point where they're in the way of the European vacation I've waited a long time to have with Mrs TA.
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I've had words to the boy to that effect - porn isn't real life and if you expect any different, prepare for disappointment.
Also, masturbation is absolutely OK. Especially if you're planning on getting married.
Lol, gave me a good laugh, probably the wisest words your boy will ever hear.
And more advice than my Dad ever gave me about women.
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Out of interest to the parents, how have you spoken to your teenage boys/girls about what they should expect or act during sex? It is clear they will be watching a lot of porn and I wonder how that shapes their first sexual experience and how they treat the female/male.
I think girls are at risk of being treated poorly by boys purely because their only reference is porn. I must admit I was naive to the womans needs when I was 16-17. I would tell my 16 year old self to get a little silver bullet for the girl which will likely lead to a lot more sex.
I actually had a pretty long discussion about this with youngest (12) and a couple of his mates (13) when driving them to sport. It was pretty cool being able to do that because porn was like heroin during my Catholic school education. I just stressed how it is no big deal looking at it but it's not realistic and that obviously some types of porn are harmful. Also emphasized the respect for girls/women thing. They seem to be sensible kids. My son is still in the boobs are yucky stage so not really an issue just yet. Could be he might be interested in other types of porn....
What does freak me out is the fact that I now have a step daughter. She's 10 now so fark I've got some fun years ahead.
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@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Parenting:
I just stressed how it is no big deal looking at it but it's not realistic and that obviously some types of porn are harmful. Also emphasized the respect for girls/women thing
Absolutely, and I think a lot of them get that.
I had a similar discussion with the boy as mentioned, and resisted the temptation to add "... and if you find a girl like that, get me her Mum's number..."
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I had a chat with TR Jnr about porn, sex, girls, relationships etc on the way home from the gym.
Like blood out of a stone, but he did say this is between you and me right, you won't tell mum right, cos you know how she will get.
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another issue that has been rearing it's head...pre-teen girls drama for dramas sake, add in social media and you have a recipe for toxicity
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@taniwharugby said in Parenting:
I had a chat with TR Jnr about porn, sex, girls, relationships etc on the way home from the gym.
Like blood out of a stone, but he did say this is between you and me right, you won't tell mum right, cos you know how she will get.
Good on you for having the convo, hopefully he feels encouraged that he can talk to you should he have any questions or issues.
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@Catogrande he came in last night crying with relief that she still says she has feelings for him.
He was using the word "love" a bit which ii found both hilarious and cute.
Now we will see if she just felt pressured into doing it or is actually keen on him.
Aaand Whoosh! I’m back in my own 13 year old body, filled with pathetic self-loathing and misery because I’ve been dumped by the girl of my unimaginative dreams. Wait. No. She still likes me. Now I’m even sadder.
The poor little bugger has my sympathy mate, as do you having to cope with it.
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@Catogrande said in Parenting:
@Catogrande he came in last night crying with relief that she still says she has feelings for him.
He was using the word "love" a bit which ii found both hilarious and cute.
Now we will see if she just felt pressured into doing it or is actually keen on him.
Aaand Whoosh! I’m back in my own 13 year old body, filled with pathetic self-loathing and misery because I’ve been dumped by the girl of my unimaginative dreams. Wait. No. She still likes me. Now I’m even sadder.
The poor little bugger has my sympathy mate, as do you having to cope with it.
it was so much easier getting zero play from the ladies in high school
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@mariner4life said in Parenting:
@Catogrande said in Parenting:
@Catogrande he came in last night crying with relief that she still says she has feelings for him.
He was using the word "love" a bit which ii found both hilarious and cute.
Now we will see if she just felt pressured into doing it or is actually keen on him.
Aaand Whoosh! I’m back in my own 13 year old body, filled with pathetic self-loathing and misery because I’ve been dumped by the girl of my unimaginative dreams. Wait. No. She still likes me. Now I’m even sadder.
The poor little bugger has my sympathy mate, as do you having to cope with it.
it was so much easier getting zero play from the ladies in high school
I dream of letting CF Jnr in on all the secrets I've learned over the years but been unable to go back in time to use. Just like I was with my dad (basically told me to play the field and not to give up my wicket too cheap) I expect he won't listen to me
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considering my dad was a 20 year old who knocked up his 17 year old GF and married her, i don't reckon he had fuck all to tell me
