Parenting
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@JC yeah he'll be ok, he's pretty resilient. He did call me yesterday when I was out looking telling me not to do something stupid, like beat up the wrong person haha
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@JC do you remember 'Bubba'?
Big Maori kid, lived up off High Street.
Anyway, he stole my rugby ball one time, and my 5ft noting mum went round to his place and got it back, he got a wopping from his parents, and from that day always called out and said 'Hi Mrs B' and always kept an eye out for me at school (given I was a midget at Primary school)
Yeah things were different, IMO same amount of shit, but it escalates quicker, social media also plays its part, and those who will find anyone other than the fluffybunnies who do it to blame.
The stories my old man used to tell of going down the Police Bar on Fridays or he and 2 rather large Maori boys who played pro league back in the day going out to the Sets and getting in fights with gang members!
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@taniwharugby I probably would if I knew the last name.
I remember in the Setts (Kumara Pit bar) one night around New Year there was a whole lot of pissed guys dancing on tables, singing the old standard rugby drinking songs complete with obscene actions, very funny and entertaining. A couple of staunch looking Otangarei guys decided it wasn't OK and told them they were going to get dealt to if they didn't shut up and leave. A couple of the table dancers promptly produced warrant cards and told them they were under arrest. Turns out it was the entire CID on the razz.
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the more things change, the more things stay the same. teenagers still getting bashed for their shoes. incredible
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@mariner4life sad but true.
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ok so Ms 4 is going to be heading off to school in 2022. We live in a nice area of our local neighbourhood. But that's smack bang in a pretty low socio-economic community (Cannons Creek represent!). We are increasingly torn on whether we should move to broaden the school options, or pick the 'best' local option.
We love our whare and are tantilisingly close to being mortgage free (bought cheap in the creek over 10 years ago - not as impressive as it sounds lol). However we are looking to extend as the house if full to bursting with the 4 of us now. So that's another investment in the status quo.
Have you guys moved because of schools etc? how did it pan out? We know we have things covered at home in terms of our influence on the kids etc, but who knows how things will turn out with friends or situations where bullying might be more on the physical spectrum? fuck, feels awful and super judgemental to write all that out - but we are torn!!
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@mariner4life was origin jeans back in my day. Fucking Nomads from Otaki.
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@Paekakboyz I had a mate in Auckland who rented a house near a school they wanted, got daughter into school and went back to living where they were...helped he was a Property Manager in the area too, so could sort a short term rental agreement for himself....they have since moved into the area as well (god knows how they can afford it)
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@taniwharugby my SIL has offered her address which would give us more options - but it's the guilt factor! plus I work in education so it feels extra grimy lol
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@Paekakboyz said in Parenting:
@mariner4life was origin jeans back in my day. Fucking Nomads from Otaki.
bashing someone and then asking them to take off their pants sounds suuuuper suss
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@Paekakboyz tough calls fella.
One great piece of advice I got given was 'know your child'. Some kids can go to any school and thrive, as they're self motivated and will make anything work. Others respond well to structure. Others respond well to no structure. Really, it depends on the kid to a certain extent.
That said, for primary it's a different beast. Go and have a loo kat the schools, do a tour, and figure out what the best option is. There are real advantages to going local - nearby parents, play dates are easy, etc.
From what I"ve seen, alot of primary schools in higher socio economic areas take out of zone kids, as by the time people can afford to live in an area, they don't have small kids.
Good luck no matter what - you will make a call based on the information yuo've got, don't second guess it, I'm sure it'll be good.
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My son isn't a confident kid. He's really struggling with the pace of the school he's at, and we may be forced to change.
I fear the day he gets his arse kicked in a random attack. I think it'll destroy him, his mother and me for a while too.
Keep waiting for this mental growth spurt we keep hearing about. But at 8 years old, it still hasn't happened. Still has frequent accidents at night, clearly still has his baby voice, and in so many ways is not as mature as his peers. I sat with the school principle for an hour the other day for reassurance, but the more I get reassured, the more worried I generally get.
Fingers crossed I'm just being a typical over-worried parent. But the thing he thrives at, we are yet to discover.
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@taniwharugby Sorry to hear about Jnr and his mate, not a pleasant experience. I still remember being robbed in Whangarei when I was around 16. Sounds almost exactly the same scenario. Glad to hear he wasn't injured. I always wonder what sort of lives those boys have lived that robbing people is their "normal", you can only imagine what their home lives would be like. Not excusing the behaviour but I just wish all young people had access to loving homes with good role models etc.
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I visit numerous private and public schools throughout Victoria as part of my job. What always strikes me is that in almost every single class I enter you can break it down into the geeks, cool kids, hot chicks, adhd boys, and those unfortunate kids that are bullied every day. All the schools have a very similar dynamic, there are a bunch of kids who are very switched on, engaged and happy to be there. Then there are the kids up the back who would rather be smoking bongs and banging chicks.
I had a mate who gave his kids a choice, they could go to private school or they could go to public school. If they chose public the money that was saved was put into an account and each year the entire family went on a long holiday somewhere. They went public and had the most awesome holidays as a family.
In saying that the difference in facilities between public and private almost makes me sick, there is a clear haves and have nots in the education system and It pisses me off that those kids from money get far better resources etc.
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@chimoaus i did a project years back where we went and interviewed kids in alternative education centres. Holy shit it was an eye opener- on the whole the kids had had some truly rough shit at home, and/or had some mental health issues.
Throw in learning difficulties and the impact of missing school for big patches, not hard to see how things amplify.
If violence is the go-to strategy in your home you are going to adopt that unless you have strong influences elsewhere.Doesn't mean they were angels or didn't grow up to be dickheads etc. It was sad, but heartening, to hear how they talked about teachers they bonded with. Often those teachers were the ones just keeping them engaged or present at school.
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@Paekakboyz 100%, so many stats and research showing the impact of good male role models on young men, from how they treat woman etc etc. My nephew doesn't have a Dad, so I do my best to be that role model and show him "the way"
I always remember going to a house where the young girl was playing up. The mother says, "I have no idea why the little fluffybunny behaves like she does", in my head I am thinking I know exactly why she is playing up.
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@Paekakboyz tough calls fella.
One great piece of advice I got given was 'know your child'. Some kids can go to any school and thrive, as they're self motivated and will make anything work. Others respond well to structure. Others respond well to no structure. Really, it depends on the kid to a certain extent.
That said, for primary it's a different beast. Go and have a loo kat the schools, do a tour, and figure out what the best option is. There are real advantages to going local - nearby parents, play dates are easy, etc.
From what I"ve seen, alot of primary schools in higher socio economic areas take out of zone kids, as by the time people can afford to live in an area, they don't have small kids.
Good luck no matter what - you will make a call based on the information yuo've got, don't second guess it, I'm sure it'll be good.
As an example the troglodyte child that is Ms Boo Jr thrived under COVID and working at home. Missed her friends but really just makes do in her own company.
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@chimoaus yeah as above, one claimed to be homeless, but both had gang bandanas around thier necks, so guess it was some wannabe gangsters initiation type thing.
TR Jnr said the dude was apologetic too.
He was yesterday talking about what he could have done, what he should have done etc, but as I said to him, in that situation, doing nothing was probably the best option.
I walked through where it happened yesterday, and there are so many people about, they were so brazen to do it in that area, his mate that got hit, had $100 cash on him too, but they didnt take anything from him.
The whole incident was odd.
As for schools, teachers are what make the difference.
At Primary school, TR Jnr had one teacher, just got him, he thrived, next year in with another teacher, and he struggled
I know form personal experience a teacher can make all the difference too. When I was at WBHS in 3rd and 4th form, in graded classes, I was good at everythign except math, so basically i was the dummy in our class, teacher was always explaning above my level and never gave me the help I needed, was averaging 20% in tests.
5th form, new teacher, took some time, showed me a new way to do things, 70% in school C math.
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70%? That’s like less than half right?
