Movie review thread...
-
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@bones said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Poison Rose (released internationally as Eye for an Eye) is a 2019 American thriller film starring John Travolta and Morgan Freeman. The film was directed by George Gallo and Francesco Cinquemani.
So, so fucken bad, that I couldn't press stop. What a cast! All performing without an ounce of talent in a completely ridiculously formulaic yet bizarre script.
I don't even know how to rate it.
@kruse, please do your best.
Okay. So... yeah.
The Poison Rose
Firstly, the most important bit:- Tit-watch: zero. But some spectacular cleavage. Jeez I do love some inside-of-boob. I also like outside-of-boob and under-boob, but this movie - you're just getting inside-of-boob.
And then the other bits...
- Opening scene: an old-school theatre sign displaying "The Maltese Falcon"
This is apropos of nothing, other than saying "this is going to be SOOO film noir - Opening voice-over... I shit you not:
My name is Carson Phillips, I'm a PI. I like to drink, I like to smoke, I like to gamble.
Sometimes a little too much. But you know what they say... 'Everything in moderation, including moderation'- And THEN the heavy-handed-ness starts, for a good ten minutes of "this is fucking film-noir, you fluffybunnies!"
- Oh, and Brendan Fraser appears. He's heard of "Beer and Pie July"... he heard of it several years ago. And his calendar's faulty.
- And then an hour of pretty much just nothing. Just... take a nap through this bit if you like
- A big "reveal" (spoiler) - the protagonist has an adult daughter. So upon them realising this, there's a scene where he pretty much assumes she's a 7-year old. "Here's how to eat a donut". Fuck. Just... fuck.
- There's a gunfight in the football stadium. Hero has a revolver, tries using it against a guy in the commentary box with a sniper rifle. No luck, funnily enough. Uses the tackle-pads (bullet-proof) as a shield, until remembering he used to be a famous quarterback, so... use a football as a weapon! Awesome.
- Immediately into next action-scene/gunfight. No words for this.
- Closing voice-over, I shit you not:
I wasn't in a hurry to go home. Then I realised... I already was.
Fuck you John Travolta. Fuck you slightly less @bones for making me watch this.
1.5 attempts at a modern jaded P.I. from 5 unresolved storylines.
About 1.25 of those points were for the cleavage. It really was quite pretty.This sounds even worse than I am Wrath. Good to see Travolta not settling and plunging even deeper into shit movies than before.
I’m sure Neeson, Cage and Willis will see this and try to outdo him.
Neeson really doesn't deserve to be lumped in with those three. All his action variants are watchable and they all do decent box office.
Someone hasn't seen The Ice Road.
Nope, a quick Google suggests it only just been released. Is it a rescue action movie or a fight action movie? I wont bother if it's just a rescue action movie, Neeson has to kill multiple dudes if it's an action film.
-
Coming 2 America. The only nice thing to say about this is that Eddie and Arsenio look amazing after 30 years. Christ what a shit film.
-
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Coming 2 America. The only nice thing to say about this is that Eddie and Arsenio look amazing after 30 years. Christ what a shit film.
Well this review has damn well broken my heart.
Did Randy Watson and Reverend Brown turn up ?
-
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Coming 2 America. The only nice thing to say about this is that Eddie and Arsenio look amazing after 30 years. Christ what a shit film.
Well this review has damn well broken my heart.
Did Randy Watson and Reverend Brown turn up ?
Maybe. I stopped watching about an hour in. It’s so shit. Damn these 80s film destroyers. Can you believe they’re also making another Indy film?
I guess I can still cling to Kobra Kai. I’m also praying that Top Gun 2 won’t be total shit.
-
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Coming 2 America. The only nice thing to say about this is that Eddie and Arsenio look amazing after 30 years. Christ what a shit film.
Well this review has damn well broken my heart.
Did Randy Watson and Reverend Brown turn up ?
Maybe. I stopped watching about an hour in. It’s so shit. Damn these 80s film destroyers. Can you believe they’re also making another Indy film?
I guess I can still cling to Kobra Kai. I’m also praying that Top Gun 2 won’t be total shit.
Given how shite the 4th one was it’s highly doubtful I’ll watch the 5th.
-
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Coming 2 America. The only nice thing to say about this is that Eddie and Arsenio look amazing after 30 years. Christ what a shit film.
Well this review has damn well broken my heart.
Did Randy Watson and Reverend Brown turn up ?
Maybe. I stopped watching about an hour in. It’s so shit. Damn these 80s film destroyers. Can you believe they’re also making another Indy film?
I guess I can still cling to Kobra Kai. I’m also praying that Top Gun 2 won’t be total shit.
Given how shite the 4th one was it’s highly doubtful I’ll watch the 5th.
I never watched the 4th one. I took “Last Crusade” literally.
-
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
-
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
ah that sucks, had that pegged to watch with my daughter over the w/e - still worth it if I go in with low expectations?
-
@voodoo said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
ah that sucks, had that pegged to watch with my daughter over the w/e - still worth it if I go in with low expectations?
Yeah, watched it on the weekend and whilst I agree, it wasn't great, it is still watchable, especially with a child /teen and low expectations.
-
@voodoo said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
ah that sucks, had that pegged to watch with my daughter over the w/e - still worth it if I go in with low expectations?
Very low. One for the kids.
-
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@voodoo said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
ah that sucks, had that pegged to watch with my daughter over the w/e - still worth it if I go in with low expectations?
Very low. One for the kids.
sounds perfect for me
-
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
A cross between those movies sounds exceptional.
Mind you Tenet ( cross between Bond and Back to the future ) sounded good but wasn’t so I’m not falling for that again.
-
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
A cross between those movies sounds exceptional.
Mind you Tenet ( cross between Bond and Back to the future ) sounded good but wasn’t so I’m not falling for that again.
Another I've been meaning to watch (not with kids). It's a no from you?
-
@voodoo said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
A cross between those movies sounds exceptional.
Mind you Tenet ( cross between Bond and Back to the future ) sounded good but wasn’t so I’m not falling for that again.
Another I've been meaning to watch (not with kids). It's a no from you?
I think you actually need to watch it to decide yourself. You'll know a short time into it whether it's worth it for you.
I want to watch Tomorrow War as the concept sounded good, and they've done a Pitch Meeting of it on Screen Rant that I want to watch, but you have to see the movie first. I wish I had watched it when it was first released before I heard any feedback about it.
-
@voodoo said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
A cross between those movies sounds exceptional.
Mind you Tenet ( cross between Bond and Back to the future ) sounded good but wasn’t so I’m not falling for that again.
Another I've been meaning to watch (not with kids). It's a no from you?
It’s a great big FUCK NO from me. I really like Nolans previous work but this was just self indulgent awfulness. Denzels son is really bad in the two movies I’ve seen from him……actually another cool black dude Danny Glover has a son that’s quite shite in comparison too but I digress….
Tenet seems to be a movie that divides people so you should probably decide for yourself. @Nepia is a fan, I’d love to read a @Kruse review on it too.
-
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
A cross between those movies sounds exceptional.
Mind you Tenet ( cross between Bond and Back to the future ) sounded good but wasn’t so I’m not falling for that again.
I forgot to mention Prometheus and
Day after TomorrowArmageddon and Independence Day. Whoever wrote the script watched those too.The effects are well done, no surprise, it's 2021 after all. The script is lazy and schmaltzy with gaping holes of common sense. For kids that haven't seen a lot of movies, they'll probably be thrilled with the action.
-
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Denzels son is really bad in the two movies I’ve seen from him
Weird, I've really liked him the two movies I've seen him in. On Tenet, I'm a need to watch it again to really evaluate it, but Denzel Jnr is the best thing about it - I can't stand the female character and actress and Branagh was pretty average in a nothing role. The vampire kid was decent.
But my point was, @voodoo only needs to watch about 20 odd minutes and he'll know whether it's worth watching. Edit: missed your last sentence originally so disregard this.
-
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
A cross between those movies sounds exceptional.
Mind you Tenet ( cross between Bond and Back to the future ) sounded good but wasn’t so I’m not falling for that again.
I forgot to mention Prometheus and Day after Tomorrow. Whoever wrote the script watched those too.
I like Prometheus the more I see it ( a few times now ) I think it helps set up the Alien universe really well but again, I know others aren’t fans. Supposedly very intelligent scientists acting like fucken retards at times doesn’t help I will admit.
-
@nepia said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Denzels son is really bad in the two movies I’ve seen from him
Weird, I've really liked him the two movies I've seen him in. On Tenet, I'm a need to watch it again to really evaluate it, but Denzel Jnr is the best thing about it - I can't stand the female character and actress and Branagh was pretty average in a nothing role. The vampire kid was decent.
But my point was, @voodoo only needs to watch about 20 odd minutes and he'll know whether it's worth watching.
The apple has fallen pretty far from the tree in my opinion. Not sure why but he lacks all that makes Denzil great although they do sound exactly the same.
-
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Tomorrow War
Time travel version of Aliens and Starship Troopers. Much, much worse than it sounds.
A cross between those movies sounds exceptional.
Mind you Tenet ( cross between Bond and Back to the future ) sounded good but wasn’t so I’m not falling for that again.
I forgot to mention Prometheus and Day after Tomorrow. Whoever wrote the script watched those too.
I like Prometheus the more I see it ( a few times now ) I think it helps set up the Alien universe really well but again, I know others aren’t fans. Supposedly very intelligent scientists acting like fucken retards at times doesn’t help I will admit.
I didn't like it much. Build up was ok, but ultimately a big let down for me
