Movie review thread...
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@canefan said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@voodoo said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I'm yet to see Moneyball, must add to list!
Shawshank is another that I'll watch to the end when I'm channel surfing and stumble across it.
wtf??!!!! You need to watch this asap!
I think he has watched it already.....
"I'm yet to see Moneyball, must add to list!"
?
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@voodoo said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@canefan said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@voodoo said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I'm yet to see Moneyball, must add to list!
Shawshank is another that I'll watch to the end when I'm channel surfing and stumble across it.
wtf??!!!! You need to watch this asap!
I think he has watched it already.....
"I'm yet to see Moneyball, must add to list!"
?
I was looking at the Shawshank comment. Carry on....
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I hadn't seen Seagal's Hard to Kill (1990) since I was about 10 years old, and I will forgive young me for not realizing that is was that bad.
Really low production values, terrible fights and stunts, almost no action for an hour, and Seagal looks like shit. He is doing all these punching exercises, and has legit small arms - any random guy who goes to the gym three times a week has way bigger biceps.
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@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I hadn't seen Seagal's Hard to Kill (1990) since I was about 10 years old, and I will forgive young me for not realizing that is was that bad.
Really low production values, terrible fights and stunts, almost no action for an hour, and Seagal looks like shit. He is doing all these punching exercises, and has legit small arms - any random guy who goes to the gym three times a week has way bigger biceps.
Seagal's films have not aged well, his acting has terrible and the action lame. One of his better films was Executive decision, probably because he died in the first 15 minutes
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@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I hadn't seen Seagal's Hard to Kill (1990) since I was about 10 years old, and I will forgive young me for not realizing that is was that bad.
....Take that to the bank - the blood bank.
Shakespearean dialogue right there.
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Elektra. 2005 with Jennifer Garner and some bloke that sounds like a Croatian tennis player. Also Terence Stamp as Stick, the blind bloke from Daredevil.
Rubbish. Even JG disowned it.
Stamp was the golden boy of British acting a long time ago and has done little of worth since 1970 save for Chessgame, a TV series and The Limey.
JG is odd to me. Pretty? No, not really. Attractive? Yes. Hot? Maybe for some.
Anyway , poor action sequences, no tits and the supernatural shit ain’t worth shit.
I ugly but attractive bird out of 5 wastes of time.
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@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I hadn't seen Seagal's Hard to Kill (1990) since I was about 10 years old, and I will forgive young me for not realizing that is was that bad.
Really low production values, terrible fights and stunts, almost no action for an hour, and Seagal looks like shit. He is doing all these punching exercises, and has legit small arms - any random guy who goes to the gym three times a week has way bigger biceps.
They probably look small because then can’t grow as much as his guts can.
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@machpants said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Does Seagal have a penis, or just some weird set of balls, or maybe his jeans were so tight that they made him a special type of eunuch?
Cameltoe?
Close. Cameltoe’s ugly big sister. Mooseknuckle.
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Anthony Bourdain Said These 4 Movies Inspired Him Most
Anthony Bourdain loved movies. He had many favorites but some he used as a source of constant inspiration for his shows.
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Die Hard 2
As a big fan of the original, it's surprising that this is the first time I've watched the sequel through from beginning to end. God it's shit. Gaping holes in the plot you could land a plane in. In a blizzard.
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Steven Seagal on Hook for SEC Crypto Fine Despite Move to Moscow
Seagal agreed to settle the commission’s allegations that he’d been promised $250,000 in cash and $750,000 in tokens for promoting an initial coin offering for Bitcoiin2Gen. In social media posts, Seagal had urged fans not to miss out on the offering. The actor settled the allegations without admitting or denying wrongdoing.
Seagal, who now lives in Moscow, hasn’t responded to the SEC’s repeated demands after making his initial payment, according to the commission. Russian President Vladimir Putin issued a presidential decree in 2016 granting the actor Russian citizenship.
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@nzzp said in Re: Movie review thread...:
re-re-re-re-re-re-watching Princess Bride with some (virtual) friends.
It's just sensational. So many quotable lines.
'never start a land war in Asia'
'rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles'
Just a wondeful film. Aged like wine.
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Ape VS Monster
.. I'm feeling way too tired to do this schtick just now, and I suspect that is in large part due to this fucking film.
But, in the interest of the Public Good, I'll give it a short red hot go...TL;DR:
- Made by The Asylum
- Released soon after Godzilla vs Kong
So - yeah, as long as you understand all those references, you pretty much know what's about to assault your eyeballs, ears, and brain.
Look - I think I might have bothered to write a review of the actual Godzilla-versing-Kong - and mentioned that at many, many points - my brain was trying to tell me how stupid some plot point or action was... and then my deeper brain reminded me "you're watching a movie about a giant ape fighting a giant reptilian monster with radioactive breath, fuckhead, just chill"
Well - I went through that brain-cycle many, many times this evening - with the added caveat of "you deliberately decided to watch a movie made by The Asylum, with Eric Roberts, about a giant Ape fighting a giant reptilian Monster... EVERYTHING wrong with this movie was to be expected, and you signed up for... now give me a whisky, I fucking quit"
I mean... at this point, it's as if they're just doubling down on their reputation.
So, so much absurdity.... I once again hesitate to call any of it out... because the entire fucking thing is just nonsense from start to finish. (But... yes, yes, I know - an Asylum film called Ape vs Monster... what did I expect? fuck.)Possibly my favourite point - was a group of protagonists seeing a bridge which has clearly been torn asunder by a monster, seeing a train approach (approach... as in literally 2 seconds away from hitting gorge) - trying to call the train authority to warn them off, obviously too late... watching the monster rise from the gorge and pick up the fucking train to see if it's tasty, and their immediate reaction is... "Shit, that bridge was the only way to get this vehicle across that gorge, I guess we're walking..."
And yeah, just to rub the salt in the wound:
- Tit-watch: zero
- It's hinted at that our un-lovable protagonist has a sweet sweet phallic past with another character, but at no point does that play out to the scene we all want
1 monkey (it's clearly a fucking monkey (most of the time), not an ape, and our animal loving "hero" never, at any point, corrects anybody about this) - out of 5 russian commie scum on zoom calls, seeming more worried about the destruction of Washington DC than the yankee imperialist dogs.
I'd been putting off watching that for fucking weeks... I knew it was gonna be bad.
I'm really, REALLY not looking forward to bloody Assault on Station 33... -
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Ape VS Monster
.. I'm feeling way too tired to do this schtick just now, and I suspect that is in large part due to this fucking film.
But, in the interest of the Public Good, I'll give it a short red hot go...TL;DR:
- Made by The Asylum
- Released soon after Godzilla vs Kong
So - yeah, as long as you understand all those references, you pretty much know what's about to assault your eyeballs, ears, and brain.
Look - I think I might have bothered to write a review of the actual Godzilla-versing-Kong - and mentioned that at many, many points - my brain was trying to tell me how stupid some plot point or action was... and then my deeper brain reminded me "you're watching a movie about a giant ape fighting a giant reptilian monster with radioactive breath, fuckhead, just chill"
Well - I went through that brain-cycle many, many times this evening - with the added caveat of "you deliberately decided to watch a movie made by The Asylum, with Eric Roberts, about a giant Ape fighting a giant reptilian Monster... EVERYTHING wrong with this movie was to be expected, and you signed up for... now give me a whisky, I fucking quit"
I mean... at this point, it's as if they're just doubling down on their reputation.
So, so much absurdity.... I once again hesitate to call any of it out... because the entire fucking thing is just nonsense from start to finish. (But... yes, yes, I know - an Asylum film called Ape vs Monster... what did I expect? fuck.)Possibly my favourite point - was a group of protagonists seeing a bridge which has clearly been torn asunder by a monster, seeing a train approach (approach... as in literally 2 seconds away from hitting gorge) - trying to call the train authority to warn them off, obviously too late... watching the monster rise from the gorge and pick up the fucking train to see if it's tasty, and their immediate reaction is... "Shit, that bridge was the only way to get this vehicle across that gorge, I guess we're walking..."
And yeah, just to rub the salt in the wound:
- Tit-watch: zero
- It's hinted at that our un-lovable protagonist has a sweet sweet phallic past with another character, but at no point does that play out to the scene we all want
1 monkey (it's clearly a fucking monkey (most of the time), not an ape, and our animal loving "hero" never, at any point, corrects anybody about this) - out of 5 russian commie scum on zoom calls, seeming more worried about the destruction of Washington DC than the yankee imperialist dogs.
I'd been putting off watching that for fucking weeks... I knew it was gonna be bad.
I'm really, REALLY not looking forward to bloody Assault on Station 33...Great stuff but for some weird reason I'd love to hear a Russian accent on a zoom call..
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Cruella. When Mrs CF decided this was the family movie for the night I went in with zero expectations, but I really enjoyed it. The movie is set in the 60s, a prequel explaining the origins of Cruella de Vil, protagonist from 101 Dalmatians. It was darker than I expected, had a very strong cast including excellent performances from Emma Stone and Emma Thompson, surrounded by solid acting from a bunch of support players including Mark Strong of Kingsman fame. Complete with a cracking soundtrack I was suitably impressed. A very easy 4 Dalmatians out of 5 murderous mothers
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I know that WW84 has already been reviewed in here and dissed by many, but I thought I’d while away an hour or so seeing as the cricket finished early.
First thing to say is that Gal remains hotter than a hot thing but is hottest in normal clothes, particularly evening wear.
The next thing to notice is the seemingly minimal budget. They spent SFA on the writing, very little on the sfx, next to nothing on the direction and didn’t bother at all with the editing.
The one question that remains worthwhile asking is: did this film kill the franchise before it even got going? It was that shit.
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There is a animated Witcher movie on Netflix, Nightmare of the wolf, was fun, made me start a new run through of Witcher 3
