Movie review thread...

@mn5 said in Movie review thread...:

They need an unknown. All of these guys are absolutely no chance

One with Scottish heritage on the other side of the world..?

I’d be better as a henchman

MN5

Predator

Watched it with my boys, still an absolute classic. I did have to talk loudly over the ‘pussy’ jokes between the soldiers so they didn’t hear but aside from that she was all go. Arnie at his best and a top notch support cast of 80s tough guys. The action scenes still hold up brilliantly to this day and you genuinely care about each guy and what they’re going through.

4.5 stick arounds out of 5 get to the choppers

MN5

@Kruse time to take another one for the team

taniwharugby

@kruse said in Movie review thread...:

Right - on a request from a dirty stinking TSF lurker...
I watched a little thing called...
The Velocipastor
It's your classic "catholic pastor becomes a sort of were-dinosaur"
Trailer:

I'd watched that trailer, and assumed I knew what I was in for.
I was in for a surprise, or several.

So....

Tit-watch: zero. There's a sex scene, which never reveals anything more than a bra. And a montage. A fucking weird montage set to the director's mate's band playing shit music. And at no point does the bra come off. Or any other underwear. In fact, at the end of it - post-coitus, as it were - they're both wearing underwear. Which comes in handy, because then... ninjas!

But, fuck, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Opening scene sets a really good tone for this thing. Priest, sermon, walks outside - sees his parents by a car - wave, smile, cut away, cut back to where the parents and car WERE - but now it's an empty car-park with text on-screen stating "VFX: car on fire"
This was my first out-loud "what... the... fuck?"

Over the course of this movie - I literally said out loud "... the fuck?" 2 or 3 times, and "What. The. Fuck." another 2 or 3 times. It would have been more, I was tired.

We meet a pimp. A subtle character. His name is Frankie Mermaid. Why? "Because he's swimming in pussy." He decides to go into confession. "Over the last 4 days? I stole candy from a baby... then I threw that baby into the river... so he couldn't snitch, obviously"

I noted this dialogue early on, before realising it was fucking low-key compared to the rest:
Hooker: "I don't know much about God"
Priest who's a were-dinosaur: "Well, I don't know much about dinosaurs"

There's one of several montages, with the priest-were-dinosaur working out, for some reason, giving an air-fist-pump, and also burgeoning romance... all mixed together. Why would you work-out if your plan is to use your dinosaur "persona" to fight evil? I don't know... that question becomes the smallest of your worries very quickly

Ninjas!
All of a sudden there are fucking ninjas. I had some small quibbles with the ninjas early on, but again - they became relatively insignificant in hindsight, after the fucking madness that comes later

Before spoilers - I'll note that there is a scene of the priest reading up on how to use his were-dinosaur-ery... he's reading "All About Dinosaurs", and "Crime 2". That's... kind of a nice little summary of this movie, in some ways

Oh - there's a Vietnam flashback. This has got a WHOLE lot of what-the-fuckery going on. A fucking WHOLE lot.

And then... Here be spoilers...

Fucking ninjas. Just... everything you thought you knew about these ninjas goes out the fucking window.
They're christians.
But... they're drug dealers, I hear you say?
Yeah - but their plan is to get everybody addicted to drugs, and then cut off the supply, so that everybody has to join AA-type meetings, and get converted to Christianity.
And they're chinese.
And one of them is the priest's brother.

And now there's a magic sword.

And there's a scene of a blood drenched man holding his enemy's head over his own, with a freeze-frame and then the imposed text of a Gandhi quote about eradicating violence

And then some more What-The-Actual-Fuck-ery with the aid of magical screen text

All in all - I give The Velociraptor - 4.5 good-intentioned christian dinosaurs out of 5 evil-intentioned christian ninjas.
The missing 0.5 - is because for about 10 minutes in the middle of the film - I thought I knew what was going on... and that felt kinda meandering.

@MN5 he is way cooler than you realise, that was July 2021.

RoninWC

Dune.

Bloody awesome, great visuals and truly captures the essence of the novels. Thought the acting across the board was good.

Great to see a movie that did justice to the books in terms of capturing the Dune universe.

Initially Timothée Chalamet playing Paul Atreides annoyed me but by the end of the movie I thought he did a good job.

Can't remember who said above that they didn't like Jason Momoa in it but I can't understand why, I thought he was really good.

I was a Dune Chronicles tragic starting in my teens reading every book, yeah even the last couple of shitty ones. Never read the non- Frank Herbert novels by his son Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson but I may have to after watching this.

BTW, did anyone notice Josh Brolin's character die? Was thinking after watching the movie that I couldn't recall seeing what happened to him.

Can't wait for the next movie.

MN5

@roninwc said in Movie review thread...:

Dune.

Bloody awesome, great visuals and truly captures the essence of the novels. Thought the acting across the board was good.

Great to see a movie that did justice to the books in terms of capturing the Dune universe.

Initially Timothée Chalamet playing Paul Atreides annoyed me but by the end of the movie I thought he did a good job.

Can't remember who said above that they didn't like Jason Momoa in it but I can't understand why, I thought he was really good.

I was a Dune Chronicles tragic starting in my teens reading every book, yeah even the last couple of shitty ones. Never read the non- Frank Herbert novels by his son Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson but I may have to after watching this.

BTW, did anyone notice Josh Brolin's character die? Was thinking after watching the movie that I couldn't recall seeing what happened to him.

Can't wait for the next movie.

Gurney ( Brolin ) will be in the next film. 100%

MN5

@taniwharugby said in Movie review thread...:

@kruse said in Movie review thread...:

Right - on a request from a dirty stinking TSF lurker...
I watched a little thing called...
The Velocipastor
It's your classic "catholic pastor becomes a sort of were-dinosaur"
Trailer:

I'd watched that trailer, and assumed I knew what I was in for.
I was in for a surprise, or several.

So....

Tit-watch: zero. There's a sex scene, which never reveals anything more than a bra. And a montage. A fucking weird montage set to the director's mate's band playing shit music. And at no point does the bra come off. Or any other underwear. In fact, at the end of it - post-coitus, as it were - they're both wearing underwear. Which comes in handy, because then... ninjas!

But, fuck, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Opening scene sets a really good tone for this thing. Priest, sermon, walks outside - sees his parents by a car - wave, smile, cut away, cut back to where the parents and car WERE - but now it's an empty car-park with text on-screen stating "VFX: car on fire"
This was my first out-loud "what... the... fuck?"

Over the course of this movie - I literally said out loud "... the fuck?" 2 or 3 times, and "What. The. Fuck." another 2 or 3 times. It would have been more, I was tired.

We meet a pimp. A subtle character. His name is Frankie Mermaid. Why? "Because he's swimming in pussy." He decides to go into confession. "Over the last 4 days? I stole candy from a baby... then I threw that baby into the river... so he couldn't snitch, obviously"

I noted this dialogue early on, before realising it was fucking low-key compared to the rest:
Hooker: "I don't know much about God"
Priest who's a were-dinosaur: "Well, I don't know much about dinosaurs"

There's one of several montages, with the priest-were-dinosaur working out, for some reason, giving an air-fist-pump, and also burgeoning romance... all mixed together. Why would you work-out if your plan is to use your dinosaur "persona" to fight evil? I don't know... that question becomes the smallest of your worries very quickly

Ninjas!
All of a sudden there are fucking ninjas. I had some small quibbles with the ninjas early on, but again - they became relatively insignificant in hindsight, after the fucking madness that comes later

Before spoilers - I'll note that there is a scene of the priest reading up on how to use his were-dinosaur-ery... he's reading "All About Dinosaurs", and "Crime 2". That's... kind of a nice little summary of this movie, in some ways

Oh - there's a Vietnam flashback. This has got a WHOLE lot of what-the-fuckery going on. A fucking WHOLE lot.

And then... Here be spoilers...

Fucking ninjas. Just... everything you thought you knew about these ninjas goes out the fucking window.
They're christians.
But... they're drug dealers, I hear you say?
Yeah - but their plan is to get everybody addicted to drugs, and then cut off the supply, so that everybody has to join AA-type meetings, and get converted to Christianity.
And they're chinese.
And one of them is the priest's brother.

And now there's a magic sword.

And there's a scene of a blood drenched man holding his enemy's head over his own, with a freeze-frame and then the imposed text of a Gandhi quote about eradicating violence

And then some more What-The-Actual-Fuck-ery with the aid of magical screen text

All in all - I give The Velociraptor - 4.5 good-intentioned christian dinosaurs out of 5 evil-intentioned christian ninjas.
The missing 0.5 - is because for about 10 minutes in the middle of the film - I thought I knew what was going on... and that felt kinda meandering.

@MN5 he is way cooler than you realise, that was July 2021.

How the hell do you remember this ? Amazing ferning

taniwharugby

@mn5 think that was one of his first self harm reviews...?

antipodean

The Silver Fern

Movie review thread...