Grumpy Old Man
-
@nta said in Grumpy Old Man:
@kruse every time I think I'm not up to it, stories and people like you describe makes me realise that 20+ years doing this makes me pretty fucking good at it
Yeah, I occasionally fall prey to the "Feel like I'm a fraud" Syndrome... but then I come across the real frauds... and remind myself... "I may not be going home, sitting at a fucking machine in my free time practicing and writing books about it... but I'm still better than 90% of the fluffybunnies out there. 99%".
Still... I'm constantly reminded it's a pretty low goddamn bar. -
@kruse a decade ago my company let go all the SQL dedicated staff they had. Now we get bad outcomes in database design, system architecture, and platform management.
Some of the queries I've seen in our primary Oracle platform has subqueried case statements - would make you weep. And I don't even have Oracle in my history.
-
-
@nta said in Grumpy Old Man:
@kruse a decade ago my company let go all the SQL dedicated staff they had. Now we get bad outcomes in database design, system architecture, and platform management.
Some of the queries I've seen in our primary Oracle platform has subqueried case statements - would make you weep. And I don't even have Oracle in my history.
Ah... I probably shouldn't admit this, but I'm Oracle. Very much so currently, when caught out in NZ by this virus-thing, I was pretty much forced into taking a permanent role for the Big Bad Red O themselves.
Typically, it's not the SQL written by dumb-fluffybunnies themselves which cause the biggest headaches.
It's that fluffybunnies have become SOOOO dumb - that they've resorted to "tools" which write SQL for them... drag a few lines between the pretty pictures on one's screen, choose some drop-down filters, and voila! A fucking shit piece of SQL which is going to perform horrendously and then make the dummies complain about database performance.Fuck you Hibernate. And a smaller Fuck You to developers who create "database-agnostic code" ( (and slightly unwarranted, it's an admirable idea, just sucks in practice) ). Or in more truthful terms - developers who develop code on MS-SQL, then migrate it to Oracle, ignoring all the features Oracle has, creating massive bottlenecks with their shitty home-built "sys_sequence" and "sys_trigger" and shit, and then complain about performance.
-
@booboo said in Grumpy Old Man:
I have no idea what you grumpy old fluffybunnies are talking about.
Don't worry your pretty little head about it.
But feel free to kick off if this thread derails into swapping SQL statements and advice on join orders, indexing/partitioning strategies and shit. -
@kruse said in Grumpy Old Man:
Ah... I probably shouldn't admit this, but I'm Oracle. Very much so currently, when caught out in NZ by this virus-thing, I was pretty much forced into taking a permanent role for the Big Bad Red O themselves.
Oracle is fine. In this case it is the users. No technology is bad, after all.
Except XML. That shit is useless.
@kruse said in Grumpy Old Man:
Or in more truthful terms - developers who develop code on MS-SQL, then migrate it to Oracle, ignoring all the features Oracle has, creating massive bottlenecks with their shitty home-built "sys_sequence" and "sys_trigger" and shit, and then complain about performance.
I started out with MS SQL but my boss was an old school coder and never relied on any in-built features, just native SQL with good structure and indexing, so that's what I learned.
In my case, the guys running Oracale are using something called Business Objects to put their logic together, which I suspect is the cause of all the system issues when trying to go above a couple of hundred thousand rows.
I honestly think if I showed them CTEs I'd save us a bucketload in processor time. And their heads would explode.
-
-
@scribe said in Grumpy Old Man:
This one time. At Developer Camp …
this thread suddenly reeks of virgin
-
@mariner4life said in Grumpy Old Man:
@scribe said in Grumpy Old Man:
This one time. At Developer Camp …
this thread suddenly reeks of virgin
Hence... Grumpy.
-
@kruse said in Grumpy Old Man:
@booboo said in Grumpy Old Man:
I have no idea what you grumpy old fluffybunnies are talking about.
Don't worry your pretty little head about it.
But feel free to kick off if this thread derails into swapping SQL statements and advice on join orders, indexing/partitioning strategies and shit.Now you're just making up words.
-
M MajorRage forked this topic on
-
@booboo said in Grumpy Old Man:
@kruse said in Grumpy Old Man:
@booboo said in Grumpy Old Man:
I have no idea what you grumpy old fluffybunnies are talking about.
Don't worry your pretty little head about it.
But feel free to kick off if this thread derails into swapping SQL statements and advice on join orders, indexing/partitioning strategies and shit.Now you're just making up words.
All words are made up.
-
In the late -80's, I once wrote a contract management system on Lotus 1-2-3 which used 2 x 5.25" floppies, and duly wrote a 4 page guide for dummies. The first few instructions were:
- Turn on IBM PC
- Remove disk marked "Master" from sleeve...
First day of use the cretin who was admin-ing the contacts came to me saying she couldn't get the floppy disk in the slot. Turned out the dumb bint had only used a pair of scissors to remove the circular magnetic media from the plastic housing and tried to put that in the floppy drive...
-
Just had a positive Covid test. No big deal as it's just a light cold but it fucks up our plans to visit elderly parents.
Bugger.
-
This post is deleted!
-
Scrolling through Neon for something to watch…..
I spot the walking dead. Sweet, first few seasons are bloody good and I’d love to watch them again…..click on it and IT BEGINS AT SEASON FUCKEN EIGHT !?!?!?!?!
Fucks sake, completely ruined my evening viewing.
-
-
I am grumpy with my new neighbours on two fronts.
One, they have a German Shepherd that every time they are out it barks like mad and jumps at the fence like it wants to eat us. I was hoping the bloody thing would be used to us by now but it's been a month so I am not sure it is going to. It's at the stage where we feel we can't go outside in our own yard because of the bloody thing.
Two, and I might be being petty because I am pissed about the dog, but the neighbours put their rubbish bins in front of our house. I'd understand if there was no room outside their house for them but there is. And to piss me off even more they leave them out for days on end. Would the bins annoy anyone else or and I being a grumpy old man?
