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@Paekakboyz said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA Ref called a free kick but you weren't the one delaying play. Rough bro, super rough.
There are no free kicks. There isn't even a 50/50 call going my way at ruck time.
There is only the mental grind of balancing what is worse for my mental health: getting rejected or not even bothering to try.
I get an opportunity about once a month if she's in the mood and there is precisely zero chance of some other event that might shatter the candyglass vase that is her positive mood. I assume that it is around the time she's ovulating - which is a dangerous criteria to base anything on for a woman in her mid-40s.
When I had COVID late last month, I lamented to her that it was a genuine shame because it was Horny Week. "Oh been keeping count have you?" she asked.
"More that I've noticed a pattern", I replied.
It has not occurred since July. Last week I got the "if my back can handle it" go-ahead in the afternoon, and then she was in bed asleep by 9PM.
Frustrating.
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@Paekakboyz said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA Ref called a free kick but you weren't the one delaying play. Rough bro, super rough.
There are no free kicks. There isn't even a 50/50 call going my way at ruck time.
There is only the mental grind of balancing what is worse for my mental health: getting rejected or not even bothering to try.
I get an opportunity about once a month if she's in the mood and there is precisely zero chance of some other event that might shatter the candyglass vase that is her positive mood. I assume that it is around the time she's ovulating - which is a dangerous criteria to base anything on for a woman in her mid-40s.
When I had COVID late last month, I lamented to her that it was a genuine shame because it was Horny Week. "Oh been keeping count have you?" she asked.
"More that I've noticed a pattern", I replied.
It has not occurred since July. Last week I got the "if my back can handle it" go-ahead in the afternoon, and then she was in bed asleep by 9PM.
Frustrating.
Potentially needs its own thread in regard to love life as we age. I feel for you and that must be tough when partners don't match on that level. I don't think you are alone in your experience, and I am sure many on the Fern can relate. In my teens I had the pleasure of dating a girl who had a very high drive and whilst it was fun, when I wasn't available, she ended up going elsewhere.
Funnily my wife and I had a chat today about the future of virtual reality and I joked that it is likely sex dolls and virtual reality will be a bit of a game changer for many single and married men who have a need that is not met. In theory you will be able to have sex with whoever you want as the VR will map any person you want from a photo, and I am sure the dolls will only get better with time.
The hardest part will be finding a private area to spend some time with your doll lol.
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@Paekakboyz said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA Ref called a free kick but you weren't the one delaying play. Rough bro, super rough.
There are no free kicks. There isn't even a 50/50 call going my way at ruck time.
There is only the mental grind of balancing what is worse for my mental health: getting rejected or not even bothering to try.
I get an opportunity about once a month if she's in the mood and there is precisely zero chance of some other event that might shatter the candyglass vase that is her positive mood. I assume that it is around the time she's ovulating - which is a dangerous criteria to base anything on for a woman in her mid-40s.
When I had COVID late last month, I lamented to her that it was a genuine shame because it was Horny Week. "Oh been keeping count have you?" she asked.
"More that I've noticed a pattern", I replied.
It has not occurred since July. Last week I got the "if my back can handle it" go-ahead in the afternoon, and then she was in bed asleep by 9PM.
Frustrating.
Discrepancy in sex drive is a common problem. Some deal with it by picking up other hobbies and interests. Hanging out with mates in a bid to fill the void. Some resort to finding someone else with a higher drive
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@Paekakboyz said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA Ref called a free kick but you weren't the one delaying play. Rough bro, super rough.
There are no free kicks. There isn't even a 50/50 call going my way at ruck time.
There is only the mental grind of balancing what is worse for my mental health: getting rejected or not even bothering to try.
I get an opportunity about once a month if she's in the mood and there is precisely zero chance of some other event that might shatter the candyglass vase that is her positive mood. I assume that it is around the time she's ovulating - which is a dangerous criteria to base anything on for a woman in her mid-40s.
When I had COVID late last month, I lamented to her that it was a genuine shame because it was Horny Week. "Oh been keeping count have you?" she asked.
"More that I've noticed a pattern", I replied.
It has not occurred since July. Last week I got the "if my back can handle it" go-ahead in the afternoon, and then she was in bed asleep by 9PM.
Frustrating.
Some deal with it by picking up other hobbies and interests. Hanging out with mates in a bid to fill the void.
And with Rugby season over that could be an issue. Need more camping
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
Discrepancy in sex drive is a common problem.
I should also add: I don't think her sex drive is dead.
I get home sometimes when she's had the house to herself, and she's got that glow on, indicating she's meeting her own needs on occasion.
In the 2.5 years since COVID sent us all to work from home, we've had ample opportunities at lunch time or in dead spots during the week for sex. It happened once, in the July of 2020.
So, basically, the only conclusion I can draw: it's me.
The most frustrating part is that it has been like this for years, and when I bring it up she eventually gets angry and starts using her Mum's dementia as an excuse. I'm not convinced, TBH.
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@Paekakboyz said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA Ref called a free kick but you weren't the one delaying play. Rough bro, super rough.
There are no free kicks. There isn't even a 50/50 call going my way at ruck time.
There is only the mental grind of balancing what is worse for my mental health: getting rejected or not even bothering to try.
I get an opportunity about once a month if she's in the mood and there is precisely zero chance of some other event that might shatter the candyglass vase that is her positive mood. I assume that it is around the time she's ovulating - which is a dangerous criteria to base anything on for a woman in her mid-40s.
When I had COVID late last month, I lamented to her that it was a genuine shame because it was Horny Week. "Oh been keeping count have you?" she asked.
"More that I've noticed a pattern", I replied.
It has not occurred since July. Last week I got the "if my back can handle it" go-ahead in the afternoon, and then she was in bed asleep by 9PM.
Frustrating.
Discrepancy in sex drive is a common problem. Some deal with it by picking up other hobbies and interests. Hanging out with mates in a bid to fill the void.
And with Rugby season over that could be an issue. Need more camping
You try to find a life partner who is a good person, and at the end of the day after life takes over, all you want is someone to get your rocks off with on a regular basis
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
Discrepancy in sex drive is a common problem.
I should also add: I don't think her sex drive is dead.
I get home sometimes when she's had the house to herself, and she's got that glow on, indicating she's meeting her own needs on occasion.
In the 2.5 years since COVID sent us all to work from home, we've had ample opportunities at lunch time or in dead spots during the week for sex. It happened once, in the July of 2020.
So, basically, the only conclusion I can draw: it's me.
The most frustrating part is that it has been like this for years, and when I bring it up she eventually gets angry and starts using her Mum's dementia as an excuse. I'm not convinced, TBH.
I'm not sure it's you. Lots of mates are in a similar position. Women just don't seem to generally need it the way men do. Oddly some of the women I know that become single again seem to get super horny. Not that I know what their drive was like before that
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
Discrepancy in sex drive is a common problem.
I should also add: I don't think her sex drive is dead.
I get home sometimes when she's had the house to herself, and she's got that glow on, indicating she's meeting her own needs on occasion.
In the 2.5 years since COVID sent us all to work from home, we've had ample opportunities at lunch time or in dead spots during the week for sex. It happened once, in the July of 2020.
So, basically, the only conclusion I can draw: it's me.
The most frustrating part is that it has been like this for years, and when I bring it up she eventually gets angry and starts using her Mum's dementia as an excuse. I'm not convinced, TBH.
I dunno what to say. I'm on sex every day level still, but raise my wife isn't. So I'm a big piston wristed gibbon. But man that says to me, time to move on in life. Nothing is forever
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@Machpants said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
Discrepancy in sex drive is a common problem.
I should also add: I don't think her sex drive is dead.
I get home sometimes when she's had the house to herself, and she's got that glow on, indicating she's meeting her own needs on occasion.
In the 2.5 years since COVID sent us all to work from home, we've had ample opportunities at lunch time or in dead spots during the week for sex. It happened once, in the July of 2020.
So, basically, the only conclusion I can draw: it's me.
The most frustrating part is that it has been like this for years, and when I bring it up she eventually gets angry and starts using her Mum's dementia as an excuse. I'm not convinced, TBH.
I dunno what to say. I'm on sex every day level still, but raise my wife isn't. So I'm a big piston wristed gibbon. But man that says to me, time to move on in life. Nothing is forever
I know what you are saying. If she was willing I'd happily crack into it a few nights a week. And sometimes i wonder how it would be hitching up to a higher octane wagon. But I've seen some guys move on, and the destruction it does to their kids, their standard of living, and relationships with friends and family. I'm not willing to go scorched earth on my life just for new thrills and pussy
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@canefan which ultimately is why I'm hanging around. My daughter is the apple of my eye and I really enjoy her company. She's 3 years from finishing school. The boy is just about to do his HSC but has an early offer to Uni. I would hate putting that on them, even tho they also have issues with how she treats them sometimes.
Philosophically speaking, the marriage is ok but the relationship is not where it needs to be.
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan which ultimately is why I'm hanging around. My daughter is the apple of my eye and I really enjoy her company. She's 3 years from finishing school. The boy is just about to do his HSC but has an early offer to Uni. I would hate putting that on them, even tho they also have issues with how she treats them sometimes.
Philosophically speaking, the marriage is ok but the relationship is not where it needs to be.
For me the main thing missing is the physical aspect. And that can smooth over minor ills and massively improve the mood. I'm sure I'd let more shit go if my whistle was being blown more often
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan which ultimately is why I'm hanging around. My daughter is the apple of my eye and I really enjoy her company. She's 3 years from finishing school. The boy is just about to do his HSC but has an early offer to Uni. I would hate putting that on them, even tho they also have issues with how she treats them sometimes.
Philosophically speaking, the marriage is ok but the relationship is not where it needs to be.
Thats life getting in the way
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With all due respect, what is it you hope to get out of posting all these personal things on TSF, a website full of mostly bullshitting middle aged men?
I am not having a go, or criticizing, but I think you need to know the answer to this question (that’s you, not us). I suspect your situation is relatable to many (I’m not going to offer any insight on my own) so are you looking for advice? Solidarity? A few laughs?
I would be shocked if you went to a counselor if they said posting this stuff here was a good idea. Hence the questions.
I know your a tech nerd, so I’m sure you’ve got all bases covered but do your best to ensure your wife never finds out. As that could blow the situation up further.
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@MajorRage said in Happiness Scale:
With all due respect, what is it you hope to get out of posting all these personal things on TSF, a website full of mostly bullshitting middle aged men?
I am not having a go, or criticizing, but I think you need to know the answer to this question (that’s you, not us). I suspect your situation is relatable to many (I’m not going to offer any insight on my own) so are you looking for advice? Solidarity? A few laughs?
I would be shocked if you went to a counselor if they said posting this stuff here was a good idea. Hence the questions.
I know your a tech nerd, so I’m sure you’ve got all bases covered but do your best to ensure your wife never finds out. As that could blow the situation up further.
Men can't win. On the one hand men hold things in too much, but now we can't have conversation about shit that is on our minds with a bunch of people who we haven't ever met but seem to share commonalities with? Just can't win
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@MajorRage said in Happiness Scale:
With all due respect, what is it you hope to get out of posting all these personal things on TSF, a website full of mostly bullshitting middle aged men?
I am not having a go, or criticizing, but I think you need to know the answer to this question (that’s you, not us). I suspect your situation is relatable to many (I’m not going to offer any insight on my own) so are you looking for advice? Solidarity? A few laughs?
I would be shocked if you went to a counselor if they said posting this stuff here was a good idea. Hence the questions.
I know your a tech nerd, so I’m sure you’ve got all bases covered but do your best to ensure your wife never finds out. As that could blow the situation up further.
Men can't win. On the one hand men hold things in too much, but now we can't have conversation about shit that is on our minds with a bunch of people who we haven't ever met but seem to share commonalities with? Just can't win
Just can’t comprehend, canefan.
Try a re read and think.
I’m saying quite the opposite.
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@MajorRage said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@MajorRage said in Happiness Scale:
With all due respect, what is it you hope to get out of posting all these personal things on TSF, a website full of mostly bullshitting middle aged men?
I am not having a go, or criticizing, but I think you need to know the answer to this question (that’s you, not us). I suspect your situation is relatable to many (I’m not going to offer any insight on my own) so are you looking for advice? Solidarity? A few laughs?
I would be shocked if you went to a counselor if they said posting this stuff here was a good idea. Hence the questions.
I know your a tech nerd, so I’m sure you’ve got all bases covered but do your best to ensure your wife never finds out. As that could blow the situation up further.
Men can't win. On the one hand men hold things in too much, but now we can't have conversation about shit that is on our minds with a bunch of people who we haven't ever met but seem to share commonalities with? Just can't win
Just can’t comprehend, canefan.
Try a re read and think.
I’m saying quite the opposite.
Maybe this is therapy. Talking shit out anonymously to avoid saying shit the wrong way to the wrong person and making life much much worse. I don't think he needs us to fix his issues for him, maybe he just wants to share it without judgement
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@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@canefan said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
@Paekakboyz said in Happiness Scale:
@NTA Ref called a free kick but you weren't the one delaying play. Rough bro, super rough.
There are no free kicks. There isn't even a 50/50 call going my way at ruck time.
There is only the mental grind of balancing what is worse for my mental health: getting rejected or not even bothering to try.
I get an opportunity about once a month if she's in the mood and there is precisely zero chance of some other event that might shatter the candyglass vase that is her positive mood. I assume that it is around the time she's ovulating - which is a dangerous criteria to base anything on for a woman in her mid-40s.
When I had COVID late last month, I lamented to her that it was a genuine shame because it was Horny Week. "Oh been keeping count have you?" she asked.
"More that I've noticed a pattern", I replied.
It has not occurred since July. Last week I got the "if my back can handle it" go-ahead in the afternoon, and then she was in bed asleep by 9PM.
Frustrating.
Discrepancy in sex drive is a common problem. Some deal with it by picking up other hobbies and interests. Hanging out with mates in a bid to fill the void.
And with Rugby season over that could be an issue. Need more camping
You try to find a life partner who is a good person, and at the end of the day after life takes over, all you want is someone to get your rocks off with on a regular basis
THE MALE CYCLE
When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big
tits.When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no
passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time
and threatened suicide.So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was
totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became
so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with excitement.When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with
her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything.
She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy.
She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she
divorced me and took everything I owned.I am older and wiser now and I am looking for a girl with big tits.
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@MajorRage said in Happiness Scale:
With all due respect, what is it you hope to get out of posting all these personal things on TSF, a website full of mostly bullshitting middle aged men?
I am not having a go, or criticizing, but I think you need to know the answer to this question (that’s you, not us). I suspect your situation is relatable to many (I’m not going to offer any insight on my own) so are you looking for advice? Solidarity? A few laughs?
I would be shocked if you went to a counselor if they said posting this stuff here was a good idea. Hence the questions.
I know your a tech nerd, so I’m sure you’ve got all bases covered but do your best to ensure your wife never finds out. As that could blow the situation up further.
Hasn't this thread always been a little bit about therapy? When I was having a shit time at work I typed up a rant about it for this thread. Didn't post it because after reading back what I typed I realised I should just resign, so did that the next day.
At any rate, as someone who quit a job at a school that trains therapists I think the standard of the Ferns advice at times would be on a par or better than the therapists.
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It's just a thread to vent in a safe space without judgement isn't it?
More often than not better to get it off your chest than actually say it when you know no good will come from having that conversation.
My only advice is to seriously ask yourself how long you're prepared to be miserable.
Happiness Scale
