Movie review thread...
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Oldboy
The Spike Lee version (2013), not the original Korean (2003).
Not a bad version at all, made infinitely better because Elizabeth Olsen gets nekid
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@antipodean said in Movie review thread...:
Oldboy
The Spike Lee version (2013), not the original Korean (2003).
Not a bad version at all, made infinitely better because Elizabeth Olsen gets nekid
Yeah - one of the few seppo remakes of an asian classic which was actually good.
Ah, fuck, now I need to go back and watch the entire original "Vengeance Trilogy" again. -
Iron Eagle
After a 2nd watch of Top Gun: Maverick - I figured I'd give the Iron Eagle franchise a re-watch.
Fuck... what a movie.
Sooooo 1980s.
Let's start off with a teenage feud, which is apparently best solved with a race, for no reason. And with some throwaway attempted-fucking-murder.
A fighter-jet computer interface outputting one character at a time.. "M....I...S....S...I...L...E....I..........I...N...C...O...M...I...N...G...<bang> Y...O...U...'....R....E......D...E...A...D"
Going to a prom on the evening of learning one's father was held captive by the evil foreigners. And smiling/clapping at one's 1980's stereotypical black friend dancing. Cause... "otherwise the terrorists win".
Military security, and military intelligence, thwarted/subverted by plucky teenagers.
A fucking grown man, who'd risen to the rank of Colonel, acceding to the idea that a teenage stealing an F-16 to invade a foreign nation to rescue his daddy was an acceptable idea.
And tit-watch: zero.4.5 ridiculous/jingoistic pro-Reagan and pro-USA!USA!USA! sentiments out of 5 ludicrous-exploding-enemy-jets.
If nothing else, it's a reminder that self-entitled little shit teenagers have been around forever, and the current generation is nothing new - just a different flavour.
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@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
Iron Eagle
After a 2nd watch of Top Gun: Maverick - I figured I'd give the Iron Eagle franchise a re-watch.
Fuck... what a movie.
Sooooo 1980s.
Let's start off with a teenage feud, which is apparently best solved with a race, for no reason. And with some throwaway attempted-fucking-murder.
A fighter-jet computer interface outputting one character at a time.. "M....I...S....S...I...L...E....I..........I...N...C...O...M...I...N...G...<bang> Y...O...U...'....R....E......D...E...A...D"
Going to a prom on the evening of learning one's father was held captive by the evil foreigners. And smiling/clapping at one's 1980's stereotypical black friend dancing. Cause... "otherwise the terrorists win".
Military security, and military intelligence, thwarted/subverted by plucky teenagers.
A fucking grown man, who'd risen to the rank of Colonel, acceding to the idea that a teenage stealing an F-16 to invade a foreign nation to rescue his daddy was an acceptable idea.
And tit-watch: zero.4.5 ridiculous/jingoistic pro-Reagan and pro-USA!USA!USA! sentiments out of 5 ludicrous-exploding-enemy-jets.
If nothing else, it's a reminder that self-entitled little shit teenagers have been around forever, and the current generation is nothing new - just a different flavour.
Can't wait for you to work your way through the sequels. All three of them.
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@Crucial said in Movie review thread...:
@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
Iron Eagle
After a 2nd watch of Top Gun: Maverick - I figured I'd give the Iron Eagle franchise a re-watch.
Fuck... what a movie.
Sooooo 1980s.
Let's start off with a teenage feud, which is apparently best solved with a race, for no reason. And with some throwaway attempted-fucking-murder.
A fighter-jet computer interface outputting one character at a time.. "M....I...S....S...I...L...E....I..........I...N...C...O...M...I...N...G...<bang> Y...O...U...'....R....E......D...E...A...D"
Going to a prom on the evening of learning one's father was held captive by the evil foreigners. And smiling/clapping at one's 1980's stereotypical black friend dancing. Cause... "otherwise the terrorists win".
Military security, and military intelligence, thwarted/subverted by plucky teenagers.
A fucking grown man, who'd risen to the rank of Colonel, acceding to the idea that a teenage stealing an F-16 to invade a foreign nation to rescue his daddy was an acceptable idea.
And tit-watch: zero.4.5 ridiculous/jingoistic pro-Reagan and pro-USA!USA!USA! sentiments out of 5 ludicrous-exploding-enemy-jets.
If nothing else, it's a reminder that self-entitled little shit teenagers have been around forever, and the current generation is nothing new - just a different flavour.
Can't wait for you to work your way through the sequels. All three of them.
Can you give the Last Starfighter and Starman reviews as well ?
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@antipodean said in Movie review thread...:
Oldboy
The Spike Lee version (2013), not the original Korean (2003).
Not a bad version at all, made infinitely better because Elizabeth Olsen gets nekid
Tits on that !
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Iron Eagle II
- Opening scene - the protagonist from the original turns out to actually be a pretty shit pilot, still making bad decisions, and.... RIP entitled douchebag. Hope you got paid well for that 5 minutes of sequel.
- Less 80's teenage cringe than the original.
- But plenty of 80's US/Soviet cringe
- And plenty of nonsense
- A country in the Middle East, with the ability to fire nuclear missiles that could hit cities in both Russia and the US. North Korea would love to get their hands on THOSE rocket scientists
- And a suspiciously familiar plot....
- An unnamed rogue state has a nuclear missile program about to go live
- So they bring in an 'experienced' (old) pilot, with some unorthodox experience... one could almost describe him as some sort of "maverick" - to train a crack team of pilots
- said training primarily consists of practice runs at low altitude through a valley
- But yeah - in this case... they manage zero successful practice runs, but then go rogue, and do the mission anyway.
- And there's stereotypical russians, and stereotypical americans, and comic-effect "culture clash", and a bit of classic 80's shower-room perving, and some good ol'-fashioned racism (or at least, perceived racism), and... all the good shit.
4.4 "let's give US-Russki peace a chance..." out of 5 "...by murdering the fuck out of a heap of soulless ragheads".
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had not heard about this, might be animated but if it makes it too release id watch it...Brian Cox to star is a bloody good start
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Aces: Iron Eagle III
- Wow. Just... wow.
- I'm sure I've seen all of these before, but I'd forgotten all about this.
- I started getting nasty feelings during the opening credits - what with the title, and then "actor"s names tagged with World-Wars era motifs like the germanic maltese cross, and RAF roundel... I started to think it was going to be some time-travel or flashback shit
- But then... opening scene - modern (1980s-ish) era air show
- with truly terrible blue/green-screen SFX
- plot opens... and is quickly apparent... drugs are the enemy!
- typical 80s/90s "mmmm... drugs are bad, OK?" context. I started to wonder... did the US Government subsidise shit like this? It would explain so much. Iron Eagle II - obviously a shit book/script shoe-horned into the "Iron Eagle" 'franchise' - this one, seemed like an even shitter B-grade book shoe-horned into a subsidy-grabbing stunt.
- Movie made in 1990, and a black man says "I'm getting too old for this shit". Blatant.
- ludicrous sound effects during fight/action scenes. (I'm ignoring dogfight scenes, they've been mos'def since the 'franchise' original). A luger is audibly cocked/loaded. A slap resounds like a Cassius Clay solid hit.
- And then, my sinking sensation of the meaning of the opening credits, and the intro scene... turns out to be correct...
- a Seppo, a Jap, a Tommy, and a Jerry, are going to fly their WWII era planes into action. (Spoiler, sorry). What. The. Actual. Fuck. Oh - in Peru. From mainland US. But... it'll be alright, because they are fitted out with some modern "bits".
- They battle - Aeromacchis, I think? All good.
- There's a WHOLE heap of firing automatic rifles from the hip. Classic 80s/90s. Love it.
- And when it comes down to detonating some sweet classic dynamite... there's a classic cartoon detonator, complete with the big handle to push down on. Wile-E-Coyote stylez.
- Plenty of comic relief. The teenage 'urban' guy who insinuates himself, and makes plenty of great one-liners, rides a donkey, and name-checks classic 1990 hip-hop. And, a bad guy being killed by a church-bell landing on his head in an ironic comeuppance. "Love the hat"
- The DEA full-on invades Peru, because... fuck it... USA, USA, USA!
- And (spoiler), the Japanese guy of course, does a kamikaze. Because... you know... that's what they do.
Titwatch: zero
Nepotism-watch: sometimes my spidey-senses get a-tingling. Sure enough - the lead "female role" was married to the Producer. In fact... married to him at about the time that this movie was made. Related: This producer was previously married to... Wonder Woman.4.3 "drugs are bad" out of 5 "OH SHIT - I forgot to mention that scene with the guy hanging out of his Spitfire upside down. That was awesome"
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@Kruse my recollection of IE3 made me realise I need to not trust your ratings...
The original was up there at the time as a fave, but after that...
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@taniwharugby said in Movie review thread...:
@Kruse my recollection of IE3 made me realise I need to not trust your ratings...
The original was up there at the time as a fave, but after that...
After rating the original 4.5 - I then made a call that no matter how bad it got, I'd just decrease the ratings by 0.1 each sequel. I don't know why... it doesn't make sense now, and I'd need to get really quite drunk to achieve state-dependent memory.
IE3 - as a standalone... yeah, something like 1.5, maybe 2 if feeling nostalgic for a simpler time. -
I remember this at the time and went to the cinema to see it. I really liked it. Hope it stands up well now.
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@Catogrande I saw it about 15 years ago. Remember it being good.
The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim - Wikipedia
