Parenting
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@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Parenting:
Just further on my son's ex. She is apparently now a they. She changed her name from Oceania to Tobias. What the actual fůck?
Guy at my mate's work has a wife.
Wife has decided to become a man.
A cock is being put on in a few weeks.
Weird thing is, he is still committed to her.
Fully supports it apparently. (love transcends physical boundaries or some shit)
I don't believe it.
Deep down, I bet he is thinking WTFI cannot imagine what it must be like to go through this. The guts it must take to raise the topic with your partner in the first place. How the hell do you even start such a conversation?
Then if you are the partner, the thought process you must go through as you come to terms with it. Your life is being turned upside down too.
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@Crazy-Horse said in Parenting:
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Parenting:
Just further on my son's ex. She is apparently now a they. She changed her name from Oceania to Tobias. What the actual fůck?
Guy at my mate's work has a wife.
Wife has decided to become a man.
A cock is being put on in a few weeks.
Weird thing is, he is still committed to her.
Fully supports it apparently. (love transcends physical boundaries or some shit)
I don't believe it.
Deep down, I bet he is thinking WTFI cannot imagine what it must be like to go through this. The guts it must take to raise the topic with your partner in the first place. How the hell do you even start such a conversation?
Then if you are the partner, the thought process you must go through as you come to terms with it. Your life is being turned upside down too.
I'd think that it isn't an overnight thing.
Any partner would know that there's something not quite gelling within them.
I remember ages ago when even coming out as gay was a big thing and a friend convinced his partner to come out, tell the wife and kids, and start a new life. The wife basically said 'thank god for that, I've been waiting for ages but knew you would eventually get there'.
If you stop thinking about the sex aspect of things then the rest isn't that mind boggling at all. No different to someone realising they are incompatible or happier doing something else etc. -
@Crazy-Horse said in Parenting:
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Parenting:
Just further on my son's ex. She is apparently now a they. She changed her name from Oceania to Tobias. What the actual fůck?
Guy at my mate's work has a wife.
Wife has decided to become a man.
A cock is being put on in a few weeks.
Weird thing is, he is still committed to her.
Fully supports it apparently. (love transcends physical boundaries or some shit)
I don't believe it.
Deep down, I bet he is thinking WTFI cannot imagine what it must be like to go through this. The guts it must take to raise the topic with your partner in the first place. How the hell do you even start such a conversation?
Then if you are the partner, the thought process you must go through as you come to terms with it. Your life is being turned upside down too.
I'd think that it isn't an overnight thing.
Any partner would know that there's something not quite gelling within them.
I remember ages ago when even coming out as gay was a big thing and a friend convinced his partner to come out, tell the wife and kids, and start a new life. The wife basically said 'thank god for that, I've been waiting for ages but knew you would eventually get there'.
If you stop thinking about the sex aspect of things then the rest isn't that mind boggling at all. No different to someone realising they are incompatible or happier doing something else etc.Yeah it wouldn't be an overnight thing but I reckon partners can be blindsided by these things. Not all people realise their partners are gay, let alone wanting to be the opposite sex.
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Having a partner who is gay is one thing. Having a partner who changes sex is on a completely different farking level.
I can however understand why they may stay together. In a longterm relationship you often develop a bond with someone that goes beyond physical attraction and intimacy. You become best friends without benefits so to speak. If intimacy isn't a factor then why not continue to hang out together? The idea of being alone can be awful, particularly at an advanced age.
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@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Parenting:
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Parenting:
Just further on my son's ex. She is apparently now a they. She changed her name from Oceania to Tobias. What the actual fůck?
Guy at my mate's work has a wife.
Wife has decided to become a man.
A cock is being put on in a few weeks.
Weird thing is, he is still committed to her.
Fully supports it apparently. (love transcends physical boundaries or some shit)
I don't believe it.
Deep down, I bet he is thinking WTFThat is next level weird. Maybe he's actually gay and is looking forward to being able to bang a man?
Nah. He is actually really depressed most of the time apparently.
Don't know whether it is because of this situation he feel trapped in.
But he built a big identity around being uber-liberal and tolerant, and perhaps now is realizing he ain't as tolerant as he first thought. -
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Parenting:
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in Parenting:
Just further on my son's ex. She is apparently now a they. She changed her name from Oceania to Tobias. What the actual fůck?
Guy at my mate's work has a wife.
Wife has decided to become a man.
A cock is being put on in a few weeks.
Weird thing is, he is still committed to her.
Fully supports it apparently. (love transcends physical boundaries or some shit)
I don't believe it.
Deep down, I bet he is thinking WTFThat is next level weird. Maybe he's actually gay and is looking forward to being able to bang a man?
Nah. He is actually really depressed most of the time apparently.
Don't know whether it is because of this situation he feel trapped in.
But he built a big identity around being uber-liberal and tolerant, and perhaps now is realizing he ain't as tolerant as he first thought.I guess it's easy to be tolerant when it's happening to someone else.
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In another example of why I'm pleased I don't have kids. Two different friends/ acquaintances have had nothing but problems with sons who refuse to go to school (excellent private schools) and instead have decided it's more fun taking drugs.
Every possible advantage and these ungrateful shits are doing their level best to throw it all away.
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@antipodean said in Parenting:
In another example of why I'm pleased I don't have kids. Two different friends/ acquaintances have had nothing but problems with sons who refuse to go to school (excellent private schools) and instead have decided it's more fun taking drugs.
Every possible advantage and these ungrateful shits are doing their level best to throw it all away.
Possibly off topic but can anyone tell me what advantages someone going to a private school has over someone going to a state school ?
I know two brothers who went to Scots in Wellington and judging from their spelling, grammar and punctuation English was not a subject that was taken too seriously there.
Contrast that with the list of subjects my oldest boy is taking at his ( state ) school this year. Forensics looks fucken awesome, where was that when I was a lad ?
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@antipodean said in Parenting:
In another example of why I'm pleased I don't have kids. Two different friends/ acquaintances have had nothing but problems with sons who refuse to go to school (excellent private schools) and instead have decided it's more fun taking drugs.
Every possible advantage and these ungrateful shits are doing their level best to throw it all away.
Possibly off topic but can anyone tell me what advantages someone going to a private school has over someone going to a state school ?
I know two brothers who went to Scots in Wellington and judging from their spelling, grammar and punctuation English was not a subject that was taken too seriously there.
Contrast that with the list of subjects my oldest boy is taking at his ( state ) school this year. Forensics looks fucken awesome, where was that when I was a lad ?
Private schools are 100% about networking. Little Johnny can get out of school and walk straight into a high paid job because his parents are friends with the CEO of said company. That's the only real upside I see, a lot of the state schools are absolutely fantastic and the teachers are people that genuinely care about their students.
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@antipodean said in Parenting:
In another example of why I'm pleased I don't have kids. Two different friends/ acquaintances have had nothing but problems with sons who refuse to go to school (excellent private schools) and instead have decided it's more fun taking drugs.
Every possible advantage and these ungrateful shits are doing their level best to throw it all away.
Possibly off topic but can anyone tell me what advantages someone going to a private school has over someone going to a state school ?
I know two brothers who went to Scots in Wellington and judging from their spelling, grammar and punctuation English was not a subject that was taken too seriously there.
Contrast that with the list of subjects my oldest boy is taking at his ( state ) school this year. Forensics looks fucken awesome, where was that when I was a lad ?
Apart from the networking of the school tie? From memory this side of the ditch, private schools tended to focus on the ability of students to do well in the academic requirements to get into university. Basically better rote learning modalities.
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@antipodean said in Parenting:
In another example of why I'm pleased I don't have kids. Two different friends/ acquaintances have had nothing but problems with sons who refuse to go to school (excellent private schools) and instead have decided it's more fun taking drugs.
Every possible advantage and these ungrateful shits are doing their level best to throw it all away.
Possibly off topic but can anyone tell me what advantages someone going to a private school has over someone going to a state school ?
I know two brothers who went to Scots in Wellington and judging from their spelling, grammar and punctuation English was not a subject that was taken too seriously there.
Contrast that with the list of subjects my oldest boy is taking at his ( state ) school this year. Forensics looks fucken awesome, where was that when I was a lad ?
I can only speak for my own experience. I was the product of a decile 2 education, but CF Jr has started private school now and it is really good for him. He is the kind of kid who would drift at the back of the class and do as little as possible except when it came to play time. He has been challenged more in every way, and it has been about trying to make the best version of himself as opposed to guaranteeing any kind of future
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@antipodean said in Parenting:
@antipodean said in Parenting:
In another example of why I'm pleased I don't have kids. Two different friends/ acquaintances have had nothing but problems with sons who refuse to go to school (excellent private schools) and instead have decided it's more fun taking drugs.
Every possible advantage and these ungrateful shits are doing their level best to throw it all away.
Possibly off topic but can anyone tell me what advantages someone going to a private school has over someone going to a state school ?
I know two brothers who went to Scots in Wellington and judging from their spelling, grammar and punctuation English was not a subject that was taken too seriously there.
Contrast that with the list of subjects my oldest boy is taking at his ( state ) school this year. Forensics looks fucken awesome, where was that when I was a lad ?
Apart from the networking of the school tie? From memory this side of the ditch, private schools tended to focus on the ability of students to do well in the academic requirements to get into university. Basically better rote learning modalities.
Rote learning is a thing of the past. But what is key in CF Jr's case is the smaller class sizes, and the raised expectation levels. His school is training them to excel later in secondary school and onto uni as opposed to force feeding them everything
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@No-Quarter said in Parenting:
@antipodean said in Parenting:
In another example of why I'm pleased I don't have kids. Two different friends/ acquaintances have had nothing but problems with sons who refuse to go to school (excellent private schools) and instead have decided it's more fun taking drugs.
Every possible advantage and these ungrateful shits are doing their level best to throw it all away.
Possibly off topic but can anyone tell me what advantages someone going to a private school has over someone going to a state school ?
I know two brothers who went to Scots in Wellington and judging from their spelling, grammar and punctuation English was not a subject that was taken too seriously there.
Contrast that with the list of subjects my oldest boy is taking at his ( state ) school this year. Forensics looks fucken awesome, where was that when I was a lad ?
Private schools are 100% about networking. Little Johnny can get out of school and walk straight into a high paid job because his parents are friends with the CEO of said company. That's the only real upside I see, a lot of the state schools are absolutely fantastic and the teachers are people that genuinely care about their students.
100% this.
I find it amazing how easily opportunities open up for the kids at my (somewhat prestigious) private school. At the really prestigious places, getting your first good opportunity must be like shooting fish in a barrel.
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One thing that amuses me about private school is people talk about the cost being prohibitive, yet it works out about the same as Day Care, which everyone is expected to put their kids through. Not to be a socialist or anything but I'd like to see more funding for Day Care and Pre School, getting 20 hours at age 3 isn't great for poorer families where both parents have to work; so much of their income goes straight to these places.
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@No-Quarter said in Parenting:
One thing that amuses me about private school is people talk about the cost being prohibitive, yet it works out about the same as Day Care, which everyone is expected to put their kids through. Not to be a socialist or anything but I'd like to see more funding for Day Care and Pre School, getting 20 hours at age 3 isn't great for poorer families where both parents have to work; so much of their income goes straight to these places.
It's mean tested here, and we also worked out quickly that since we can afford the daycare, we can afford private school, so that's where our boy will be going.
If we go back to NZ though, we'll likely go to the country and a local school, but will try to send him here or overseas for at least one year of his high school.
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@antipodean said in Parenting:
Rote learning is a thing of the past.
I see that reflected in the numeracy and literacy...
Yeah I find it curious that they teach kids all sorts of different strategies to work things out. Sometimes memorising is the best way
