Movie review thread...
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@MajorRage said in Movie review thread...:
@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
Right. So. I just watched 9, fucking nine, Fast & the Furious movies over 9 nights.
I don't know why I hate myself so much, but I clearly do.
No review necessary, I assume.
We all know what these are.- Titwatch = zero
- lots of arse/camel-toe dancing to shit music at unbelievable underground race events
- Physics starts losing its power early on, but holy fuck - by #9 - physics has gone. Dead. Like - American Gods dead - Physics is fucked...up
- I'd forgotten Gadot was in this shit. Hot.
- Karma visited me by having the cunty little shits who actually look up to this shit - particularly virulent last weekend, at the place I'm staying. Really really fucking hard to consider Dom or Brian as heroes when their real-life counterparts are revving up shitty fucking shit cars at the beach carpark. Fuck... what an absolute shit make-believe "counter-culture".
- That was a terrible little experiment. Fuck you Fast and Furious. And thank you Google, for eventually making this available as something people might read when googling fast and the stupidly fucking furious.
Edit: I haven't watched the "spin-off" Hobbs and Shaw, or whatever the fuck it was called, as part of this masochism. I'm not sure I hate myself THAT much. But... considering it. Fuck... what a condemnation that is.
Sit back, relax, enjoy and don't worry about the physics.
Or where a whole bunch of trashy people managed to find the millions of dollars for their cars.
I only got into at 5. Then out of it around 8. Was a good period.
i admire them for knowing exactly what they are, and not giving a shit.
Hobbs and Shaw was cracking fun
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@dogmeat said in Movie review thread...:
Thanks for vindicating my decision to never watch one.
Sounds like franchise should be renamed Fake and Forgettable
The first one was entertaining. How an entire culture latched on to such unmitigated bullshit is worthy of a doctoral thesis. "double de-clutch on an upshift"
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@MajorRage said in Movie review thread...:
I only got into at 5. Then out of it around 8. Was a good period.
So you got into it at the Mission Impossible/spy team level and the out of it at the superhero level.
I'm a fan of decent popcorn entertainment, and the Fast Saga
did that pretty well from 5 up until the latest one. -
Last seen alive
Iāll say one thing about Gerard Butler, he has fuck all range in terms of the characters he plays. He could do this kind of role in his sleep.
This flick is direct from the John Travolta/Liam Neeson/Nicholas Cage/Bruce Willis production line.
He is kinda cool in what he does though, Iāll give him that. Movie starts well but is just a jumbled, unconvincing load of shit by the end.
2 missing wives out of 5 dodgy petrol stations
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So I went and saw Avatar: the Way of the Maoris on the Water only because it was nominated for Best Picture and I see all the nominees.
Visually spectacular, but as for the rest, tosh. And it really didn't need to be so long, it was like he was sitting round with Peter Jackson in the Wairarapa and Jackson bet him he couldn't make as many endings as the final LOTR. Cameron just laughed and said hold my cruelty free organic beer.
Spoilers:
##spoiler
Where the fuck did all the Maoris go in the final battle? How did the American Indian family wind up being the only ones to be there at the end. Dumb ass writing. Water Cliff Curtis could have been in their swinging his taiaha helping to free the kids.There was no need to have Spider rescue the Colonel as they already have a download of him since Cameron is set on bringing everyone back.
Also, the family went from caring about Spider, to forgetting he existed, to caring, then forgetting, to caring, ... you get the point.
I hope the sequels don't get best picture nominations.
##endspoiler
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Hell Dogs on Netflix
Japanese movie about an ex-cop that goes undercover into the modern Yakuza. If you like your action movies to have a manga level of violence and don't mind some subtitles, this is well worth the couple of hours investment. Fast paced, well shot/ acted/ directed, it won't seem like two hours have passed by.
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@antipodean said in Movie review thread...:
Hell Dogs on Netflix
Japanese movie about an ex-cop that goes undercover into the modern Yakuza. If you like your action movies to have a manga level of violence and don't mind some sub-titles, this is well worth the couple of hours investment. Fast paced, well shot/ acted/ directed, it won't seem like tow hours have passed by.
When they put "PURE . VIOLENCE" in english on the front-cover, when nearly everything else is Jap... I'm fucking sold.
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I quite like an historical flick, particularly anything Viking or Roman and saw this one that had Colin Firth and Ben Kingsley as well as a veritable whoās who of future GOT actors. Iain Glen, James Cosmo, Jojen Reed etc etc.
Anyway itās shit. Itās called The Last Legion and I cannot believe that I watched it to its pathetic, miserable end. No real plot, wooden acting, godawful dialogue, laughable love interest and no tits.
Avoid.
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@Catogrande said in Movie review thread...:
I quite like an historical flick, particularly anything Viking or Roman and saw this one that had Colin Firth and Ben Kingsley as well as a veritable whoās who of future GOT actors. Iain Glen, James Cosmo, Jojen Reed etc etc.
Anyway itās shit. Itās called The Last Legion and I cannot believe that I watched it to its pathetic, miserable end. No real plot, wooden acting, godawful dialogue, laughable love interest and no tits.
Avoid.
you might like this. Tit watch zero btw
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Ok so, if you've seen it...
##spoiler
Deacon is the killer, change my mind.
##endspoiler -
@Bones Was that the shitty Se7en rip-off, obviously a script written back in the 90s, and probably made as a vanity project for one/all of the lead actors - where at some point they're in the middle of the desert, digging holes - and for some reason the cop is doing the digging, with the "bad guy" chilling and smirking?
I can't remember much of it, other than that. But yeah - I think I briefly considered your theory, but then decided "who cares?" -
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Johnny Mnemonic in Black and White
(the director is a respected visual artist, and has taken the original negatives and visual effects elements, and recoloured everthing)
It was a goofy attempt to make a noir cyberpunk Total Recall, with pretty lousy action scenes and lead actors, but in black and white it was pretty striking, with some "nice shots".
Apparently the director is a respected visual artist, which comes across in many compositions, but he does not seem to be a competent film director.
It was quite entertaining, and mercifully short (just under 90 minutes).
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So finally completed my watch of all the Best Picture Oscar nominations so here's my annual ranking list. I must say I found it a very average year, usually I Iām struggling to figure out my top movies and what to leave in the bottom five but this year Iāve struggled to figure out which ones are the top movies. So anyway, here goes.
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Everything Everywhere All at Once: This movie was the sleeper hit from early in the year and is still easily the best of the nominees. I think it will win, and I want it to win.
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Elvis: This is a surprise, I never thought Iād rate a Baz Luhrmann film so highly, but I really enjoyed this. The main dude doesnāt look too much like Elvis but feels like him throughout the film, and the music is good.
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Triangle of Sadness: Thereās a middle scene in this which had me in hysterics, very low brow humour (throwing up, poop etc) in an Oscar nominated film. The rest of the film was pretty good too, which was more drama and black comedy. Part of what seems like a trilogy of eat the rich films along with The Menu and Glass Onion. The Menu would be at three if it was nominated and Glass Onion would be higher than most films on this list.
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The Fabelmans: A movie about Spielberg growing up by Spielberg. Was a bit of a flop at the box office but I really enjoyed it, unlike last yearās West Side Story.
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Women Talking: A movie about the women in a Mennonite community deciding whether to leave after they catch one of the men assaulting a drugged woman, something that has been happening in the community regularly. Based on a novel which is itself based on a true story.
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Top Gun: Good fun movie.
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All Quiet on the Western Front: If I have never read the book or seen either the 1930s or 1970s films then this would likely have rated much higher. The visuals are spectacular, but I think itās the worst of the three in presenting the narrative. The others, and the book, utilise the school scenes to better highlight the idealism of the students where this one just seems to throw them in it without any character development, if I hadnāt read the book and seen the other films, Iām not sure any character outside of Paul and maybe Kat would have made any impression.
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The Banshees of Inisherin: Actually, this might win. I hope it doesnāt. I donāt believe the hype. Gleeson and Farrell are great in it, but their performances canāt overcome the fact the story is pretty stupid. I got a wee bit caught up in the hype directly after seeing it but after a dayās reflection I realised I was pretty disappointed by it. Itās no In Bruges.
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Avatar: The Way of the Water: Itās in 3D, the effects are good, the story is bollocks, I wonāt go see the third one unless it too gets nominated for a Best Picture Oscar. Could have been 10 if the number 10 didnāt annoy me so much.
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TAR: Like Banshees this has a great performance, but itās in a bollocks pretentious arty film that doesnāt need to be. This could have been an under two hour movie telling the same story in a straightforward manner and it would have been much better. But itās not.
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The Little Things (2021) ā 6.3 | Crime, Drama, Mystery
