Fern Helpline
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@Bones said in Fern Helpline:
Right place for this then? I'm struggling to figure out how to deal with this one (not exactly major)....
So my boss - really nice guy, always means well and does fight my corner if it's required. But...I can't have a conversation with him about anything without getting one sentence in and then hearing a 5 minute (at least) personal anecdote from him on a same/similar topic. We have a weekly one-to-one and I've given up. There is no point me trying to raise anything anymore as I don't get a chance to say my piece AND I get regaled with a monologue about an experience I have no interest in.
I don't really know what to do about it - if I say something then I'm sure that would just make him completely shut down in future due to being so self conscious about it - or am I projecting?
The main thing for me is, how important are the thing(s) you're trying to raise with the boss? Are they just regular staff complaints/ideas , or are they material issues?
I'd say you have to prioritise, push the things that matter to the point of being offensive, but let the rest of the things go.
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@Bones said in Fern Helpline:
@antipodean hate it when my eyes are all blurry after waking up and "st" looks like "d".
Anyway, thanks. We're getting along great now.
I hate it when you wake up and s, t, and d are all together...
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@Bones I have nothing to add but sympathy. I went on a date with a guy like that and it was honestly terrible. Like seriously, he did not shut up. What made it more irritating, is he would start with a question, you might say one word, then he would interrupt and tell yet another boring as fuck anecdote. I could have said 'green bucket' and he would have been all 'ohhhh, lemme tell you about the time...'
That you haven't yet stabbed said supervisor in the eye with a pencil shows you have great patience. Well done.
One other thing...if you always listen to him and don't change the subject or grasp back the conversation, he may well believe you are interested in his tales. You need to break him of the habit with you. Get him back on topic. Do something to break his train of thought. Shuffle a file or stretch or neaten a pile of papers or something.
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@Bones You gotta stop that. He thinks he is impressing/bonding with you and nothing you are doing is breaking him of that misconception. It might take some interrupting once in a while, but if the only thing you are getting out of these meetings is another fucking anecdote, then it's wasting your time, and you'll end up being this guy's blankie forever. If he's seeing you as dude who is SO IMPRESSED by my stories then he's not seeing you as someone valuable to the workplace whose time is precious. Maybe because you are remote? You need to break him of that. Talk about your projects. Talk over him a bit until he learns to shut his trap and listen rather than speak. But do not indulge him further, cos he will only get worse as he feels more pressure.
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@Bones Don't give him the opportunity. Assert yourself. He needs to think of you as Bones the dude who gets shit done from home, not Bones my anecdote dude.
On a side note, what is his boss like? Maybe he doesn't get a chance to speak or be personal there, so he wants another outlet and you're the lucky one.
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@JC said in Fern Helpline:
This is a great idea for a thread. I’m unlikely to be able to give any practical help though, as I’m not much use for anything.
#metoo should we start our own thread for fullas who dont be good at nuffing?
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Outlook is driving me crazy. Keeps going to "not responding" anytime I click back to it, click on an email, try scroll, anything. Stays that way for about 2 minutes then lets me do about 20 seconds of stuff. You can help with that right?
Shit, it's taken it's cue from my boss!
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@Bones best bet is to re-boot your PC/laptop!
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@taniwharugby said in Fern Helpline:
@Bones best bet is to re-boot your PC/laptop!
You're a shill for Big Reboot.
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@Bones you got 99 problems mate. Relax
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@R-L yeah yeah, get busy with your journal.
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@Bones Hows your job affected by covid. Opportunity to redefine the parameters of the meetings? I light of I think it would help us both if we kept it to x long and had a specific outcome or set of deliverables we want to achieve. I hate fucking meetings for the sake of them so they have to have a purpose. Shooting the breeze informal chats are good in their place but you have to manage your manager
What makes him tick. Make the agenda satisfy his immediate wants might make it easier to keep him on point.
Failing that I find most managers don’t like being challenged / argued with and will find a reason of their own to avoid the meetings. Thats a high risk strategy though
