Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation
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Seriously though Nick, I can't see a downside to consolidating in that situation. Your MIL's net worth is her assets minus her liabilities, same as everybody else. Regardless of whether she owes money to the credit card issuer or her mortgage lender the sum is the same. The difference is the rate she's paying.
Have you had any problems getting the bank or CC company talking to you about your MIL's affairs? You may need a PoA if you are. A PoA would also help if you need to warn them not to offer her any other credit.
Check out the obligations of lenders in Aus / NSW because in many jurisdictions finance contracts can be voided if the borrower was not mentally capable. Usually you'd have to prove the bank or lender knew about the incapacity. That might not help for the current situation but certainly would if you use a PoA to warn them and they gave your MIL more credit anyway. Most major banks will also have specialist teams who deal with people with mental health issues, for example monitoring spending for erratic patterns of transactions.
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@JC it was Saturday night when we discovered all this, so the bank people who can help with this are not on the clock until tomorrow morning.
MIL says the cards aren't new, but that she's had them since before she retired. We'll find out I guess.
Proving the mental thing would only work if we could pin it down to after the death of her mother i.e. depression or something. Like you say: proving the bank knew is the tough bit.
PoA is about the first thing on Mrs TA's list for tomorrow. She's taken two days off work at short notice to start filtering the bullshit, and taking steps to ensure it doesn't happen again.
Thanks again
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In Sydney, I'd have thought two large houses could be converted into two small houses and a truckload of cash?
It's pretty cold, (but then I don't know Granddad) but, he's presumably well into his 80s and probably not got that much further to run. And presumably your MIL is lined up for a substantive chunk of his freehold house?
Might just be a temporary cashflow problem.
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@Chris-B. said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
In Sydney, I'd have thought two large houses could be converted into two small houses and a truckload of cash?
One small house is better - because they're going to be sticking around in this part of Sydney (to be close to family
) and there isn't a lot in the way of suitable houses i.e. single storey, 3 bed, 1-2 bath. A lot of them are being sat on by people waiting to jump upwards. Timing is key.It's pretty cold, (but then I don't know Granddad) but, he's presumably well into his 80s and probably not got that much further to run. And presumably your MIL is lined up for a substantive chunk of his freehold house?
Might just be a temporary cashflow problem.
Yeah mate and Mrs TA and I have discussed that. He's 90 next year, and a great old bloke, but with the wife gone almost two years, and a range of health and mobility issues coming to the fore, he's pretty short on.
The problem is the MIL's brother who is a shunt, and entitled to half of everything. He's been fucking sly about a few things, hitting his dad up for car repairs that turn out were his fault (hit someone) and he's basically lying to everyone's face. He was brought up as a kid brother and doted on by his now-deceased Mum.
But everyone tolerates him. No idea why. That shit will come to a head if Mrs TA's brother confronts him. But the money is gone, and no-one kept track of it. So best to just get on with it.
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@NTA said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@Chris-B. said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
In Sydney, I'd have thought two large houses could be converted into two small houses and a truckload of cash?
One small house is better - because they're going to be sticking around in this part of Sydney (to be close to family
) and there isn't a lot in the way of suitable houses i.e. single storey, 3 bed, 1-2 bath. A lot of them are being sat on by people waiting to jump upwards. Timing is key.It's pretty cold, (but then I don't know Granddad) but, he's presumably well into his 80s and probably not got that much further to run. And presumably your MIL is lined up for a substantive chunk of his freehold house?
Might just be a temporary cashflow problem.
Yeah mate and Mrs TA and I have discussed that. He's 90 next year, and a great old bloke, but with the wife gone almost two years, and a range of health and mobility issues coming to the fore, he's pretty short on.
The problem is the MIL's brother who is a shunt, and entitled to half of everything. He's been fucking sly about a few things, hitting his dad up for car repairs that turn out were his fault (hit someone) and he's basically lying to everyone's face. He was brought up as a kid brother and doted on by his now-deceased Mum.
But everyone tolerates him. No idea why. That shit will come to a head if Mrs TA's brother confronts him. But the money is gone, and no-one kept track of it. So best to just get on with it.
Yeah,sounds like Enduring PoA as soon as possible over both their affairs. Then Mrs TA can ask uncle what the deal is with the outstanding money without being told to mind her own business. Better still, get the right kind of PoA and write the prick out of the will too, who'll be laughing then!
Maybe also time for an intervention for Uncle. "Why are you lying to people who should matter to you - what are you a psychopath?" might make him take a thought to himself. If not at least he'll know you're onto him.
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@JC said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
Maybe also time for an intervention for Uncle. "Why are you lying to people who should matter to you - what are you a psychopath?" might make him take a thought to himself. If not at least he'll know you're onto him.
I agree. Mrs TA's family are very non-confrontational though so we'll see if that goes anywhere. And her Mum isn't going to touch this I don't think, in her present mental state.
e.g. I went over to measure up for carpet today, and as I was leaving the MIL started panicking that she couldn't find house keys. I let myself out through the garage, stating that the keys can't have gone far, and I definitely did not have them.
The old bitch is fucking lucky I even acknowledge her given how hard she's failing at adulting right now.
Its affecting the wife as well, who just lost her favourite aunt (her father's sister) to cancer and is under a fuckload of stress because she's taking time off work to sort out her Mum's affairs.
Happy fucking bunch eh?
Best outcome for the family right now (with a nod to @Chris-B aka "The Iceman") after the wife gets Enduring PoA:
- Dog escapes from MIL's place
- Gets hit by passing stolen car driven by local dickhead
- MIL, chasing after dog, drops dead instantly from massive heart attack.
- Grandfather finally gives up at the same time (not far off, let me tell you).
- Grandfather's house gets sold, Uncle gets half, and is told to fuck off.
- MIL's house gets sold.
- Grief for those who wish to grieve*
- Holiday to Europe with my Long Service Leave in October.
*Not I
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@NTA said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@JC said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
Maybe also time for an intervention for Uncle. "Why are you lying to people who should matter to you - what are you a psychopath?" might make him take a thought to himself. If not at least he'll know you're onto him.
I agree. Mrs TA's family are very non-confrontational though so we'll see if that goes anywhere. And her Mum isn't going to touch this I don't think, in her present mental state.
e.g. I went over to measure up for carpet today, and as I was leaving the MIL started panicking that she couldn't find house keys. I let myself out through the garage, stating that the keys can't have gone far, and I definitely did not have them.
The old bitch is fucking lucky I even acknowledge her given how hard she's failing at adulting right now.
Its affecting the wife as well, who just lost her favourite aunt (her father's sister) to cancer and is under a fuckload of stress because she's taking time off work to sort out her Mum's affairs.
Happy fucking bunch eh?
Best outcome for the family right now (with a nod to @Chris-B aka "The Iceman") after the wife gets Enduring PoA:
- Dog escapes from MIL's place
- Gets hit by passing stolen car driven by local dickhead
- MIL, chasing after dog, drops dead instantly from massive heart attack.
- Grandfather finally gives up at the same time (not far off, let me tell you).
- Grandfather's house gets sold, Uncle gets half, and is told to fuck off.
- MIL's house gets sold.
- Grief for those who wish to grieve*
- Holiday to Europe with my Long Service Leave in October.
- Not I
Burn after reading
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@jegga said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@Catogrande said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@NTA Having a spot of trouble losing the mental image..?
You are one sick puppy.
Praise indeed.
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@NTA said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@Crucial look they were lovely people when I joined, but now they're just pissing me off.
($5000 in the glovebox of a stolen car at a set location, BTW)
In-laws or the Fern?
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I'm still trying to weasel in a powerwall joke! but the hurts are real bro. Tough situation to navigate but it sounds like you have a solid plan, and are under no illusions about various agendas re money.
ps is that 5k in Aussie Dollarydoo's or NZ Kumera chips?
Just asking for a friend
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@Crucial said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@booboo said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@NTA menral illness is a bitch. And I think there is plenty on display here. Jeez mate: feeling for yoy.
Apparently the first sign of going la-la is spelling.
Typing on a "smart" phone ... but yeah ...
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@Paekakboyz said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
ps is that 5k in Aussie Dollarydoo's or NZ Kumera chips?
If it was Kiwi dollars we'd be done here
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Right, so the last nearly-8 weeks have been interesting.
Sold the car for probably less than what it was worth, but there were bills to pay. I fucking HATE selling cars. Tyre kickers, time wasters, the lot of them.
I've smashed a lot of shit to pieces with a hammer during the cleanup of her place - old furniture that was in parts rubbish (the 70s chipboard crap) to well made (the 1940s/50s proper joinery - some of the nails looked brand new! Shame to end it, really). Ripped up 60sqm of carpet, replaced lights, dumped about 7cubic metres of crap. Also got a bit of carpentry organised to sell the joint and did some painting with it.
Very therapeutic. Particularly the smashing bit.
Offers have come in which are acceptable - considering its the middle of winter and not exactly a red hot market right now.
Pay the agent, pay off her debts, and she should still walk away with a few hundred gorillas.
Unfortunately its not enough to get another place, or to put her in care with her fucking idiot dog, which is a shame, because as these two pointed out:
@Chris-B. said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@NTA Sounds like your MIL needs to be checked out for early stages of Alzheimers or similar.
@booboo said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@NTA menral illness is a bitch. And I think there is plenty on display here. Jeez mate: feeling for yoy.
Wife got her in to see the Neuro chappie: preliminary diagnosis is vascular dementia.
Not really a surprise, but still a bit of a shock to finally get a label applied to it.
I suppose the option of living with her Dad long-term is under question, depending on her faculties. Her brother has shown no signs of moving out yet, so he wants to stay close to the money (and pay no rent!) off the old man's lifetime of work.
But at this stage its the only real option until the old man dies, and more cash is freed up. If she starts needing serious care, the dog is then going to be a sticking point. Its anxious as fuck all the time when she's not around - I've had to look after it on my work from home days during various doctor appointments. Its testament to my patience that the damn thing is still alive.
Funny story: she rings us one wet June night in a panic, leaving two messages on our answering machine "Charlie has run away. I can't find him! Please help me! I beg of you!" (actual quote).
Mrs TA's brother goes over there - the dog has crawled under the old man's recliner while the footrest was up, and got trapped in there when he went to the shitter
Anyway, that's where it sits. Looks like the debt is sorted but the real shit is just beginning.
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@NTA Yeah, more tough times ahead. Good luck mate.
