Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation
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@jegga said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@Catogrande said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@NTA Having a spot of trouble losing the mental image..?
You are one sick puppy.
Praise indeed.
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@NTA said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@Crucial look they were lovely people when I joined, but now they're just pissing me off.
($5000 in the glovebox of a stolen car at a set location, BTW)
In-laws or the Fern?
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I'm still trying to weasel in a powerwall joke! but the hurts are real bro. Tough situation to navigate but it sounds like you have a solid plan, and are under no illusions about various agendas re money.
ps is that 5k in Aussie Dollarydoo's or NZ Kumera chips?
Just asking for a friend
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@Crucial said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@booboo said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@NTA menral illness is a bitch. And I think there is plenty on display here. Jeez mate: feeling for yoy.
Apparently the first sign of going la-la is spelling.
Typing on a "smart" phone ... but yeah ...
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@Paekakboyz said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
ps is that 5k in Aussie Dollarydoo's or NZ Kumera chips?
If it was Kiwi dollars we'd be done here
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Right, so the last nearly-8 weeks have been interesting.
Sold the car for probably less than what it was worth, but there were bills to pay. I fucking HATE selling cars. Tyre kickers, time wasters, the lot of them.
I've smashed a lot of shit to pieces with a hammer during the cleanup of her place - old furniture that was in parts rubbish (the 70s chipboard crap) to well made (the 1940s/50s proper joinery - some of the nails looked brand new! Shame to end it, really). Ripped up 60sqm of carpet, replaced lights, dumped about 7cubic metres of crap. Also got a bit of carpentry organised to sell the joint and did some painting with it.
Very therapeutic. Particularly the smashing bit.
Offers have come in which are acceptable - considering its the middle of winter and not exactly a red hot market right now.
Pay the agent, pay off her debts, and she should still walk away with a few hundred gorillas.
Unfortunately its not enough to get another place, or to put her in care with her fucking idiot dog, which is a shame, because as these two pointed out:
@Chris-B. said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@NTA Sounds like your MIL needs to be checked out for early stages of Alzheimers or similar.
@booboo said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@NTA menral illness is a bitch. And I think there is plenty on display here. Jeez mate: feeling for yoy.
Wife got her in to see the Neuro chappie: preliminary diagnosis is vascular dementia.
Not really a surprise, but still a bit of a shock to finally get a label applied to it.
I suppose the option of living with her Dad long-term is under question, depending on her faculties. Her brother has shown no signs of moving out yet, so he wants to stay close to the money (and pay no rent!) off the old man's lifetime of work.
But at this stage its the only real option until the old man dies, and more cash is freed up. If she starts needing serious care, the dog is then going to be a sticking point. Its anxious as fuck all the time when she's not around - I've had to look after it on my work from home days during various doctor appointments. Its testament to my patience that the damn thing is still alive.
Funny story: she rings us one wet June night in a panic, leaving two messages on our answering machine "Charlie has run away. I can't find him! Please help me! I beg of you!" (actual quote).
Mrs TA's brother goes over there - the dog has crawled under the old man's recliner while the footrest was up, and got trapped in there when he went to the shitter
Anyway, that's where it sits. Looks like the debt is sorted but the real shit is just beginning.
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@NTA Yeah, more tough times ahead. Good luck mate.
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@Catogrande you're not fucking wrong. I just want my wife back dammit! All this bullshit will give her early onset dementia
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@NTA said in Wisdom of TSF: Debt consolidation:
@Catogrande you're not fucking wrong. I just want my wife back dammit! All this bullshit will give her early onset dementia
Not something you hear often.
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@Catogrande she's a keeper.
But my concerns stem mainly from her stressing the fuck out about things over which she has no control which is not good for general mental health. And THEN she'll dismiss my methods of dealing with it.
e.g. the boy started high school this year, and one of the kids who was also at his primary school has been giving him some grief.
One incident recently, this kid has the boy pinned up against the wall and is calling him a Fat C*** - which is a bit unreasonable as he's stretched out a bit and lost a lot of the puppy fat.
My solution: "Boy, next time he does that, you drop that little fucker with an elbow to the jaw"
Her interjection: "No you can't do that because you'll get in trouble!"But afterwards she's all "If that little shit touches my boy again, I'm calling the police!"
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@NTA You're certainly up against it mate with the MIL and any "hard yards" advice on how to handle things is unlikely to be appreciated. Dealing with a loopy parent is a highly emotional issue. Both my in-laws had health concerns before they karked it. He had dementia and kidney related issues (leads to urinary infections which exacerbates the looniness). She had cancer and was on large doses of pain relief. Sister-in-law (live in carer, happy to do so as she had her own marriage problems) woke up one night to the smell of burning, rushed downstairs to find the old boy in the kitchen making toast because he was hungry. Only problem was that instead of a piece of bread in the toaster he'd put in one of the old dear's morphine patches which had naturally sought fire. Close call but any advice on how to deal with such issues was not appreciated.
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A quick update:
House settles tomorrow. Spent all of yesterday trucking over the last of her shit, and cleaning the joint out. Would make a good investment but FUCK strata fees of $600 / quarter! Could not quite sell all the furniture so its sitting on the patio at her old man's place.
She now has a bedroom there after we cleaned out his "office". It looks like someone is squatting in the place TBH. They're all fucking hoarders. As a mate from the rugby club and I were moving all her stuff in, she laughed and said "How did I accumulate so much stuff?"
I refrained from screaming "THOUSANDS OF FUCKING DEBT AND AN END TO MY EARLY RETIREMENT PLAN YOU CRAZY MULE!"
At the same time, we've engaged a financial counsellor via Wesley Mission in order to try and get a bit of a reduction on the credit cards. The hardship applications all expire early in August so there will be a bit of ground to cover there. At least the mortgage will be gone.
Now that all her remaining shit is at her Dad's place, and she's living there with her (often absent) brother, I'm going on another cleanup campaign to get shit gone before her or her Dad start moving it back into the house.
When the old man dies - and he may outlive his daughter yet - if all that shit is still sitting on the back patio I may just grab some kerosene and a Zippo.
