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Lying on your resume

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Lying on your resume
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  • JCJ Offline
    JCJ Offline
    JC
    replied to Victor Meldrew on last edited by
    #99

    @Victor-Meldrew said in Lying on your resume:

    @NTA said in Lying on your resume:

    I fucking hate those fluffybunnies. They get recognition for "always being available" or "responding quickly" to their own fuckups.

    I worked for one loud prick whose sole man-management technique was to rush down the office, muttering about "project failures" and throw a printed email on my desk, demanding to know what I was going to do with it.

    Fuck knows how I resisted the temptation to state the obvious.

    Printer paper is a bugger to flush.

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
  • Crazy HorseC Offline
    Crazy HorseC Offline
    Crazy Horse
    wrote on last edited by
    #100

    Thank fuck I am not in the corporate world. I hardly understand a single word in this thread.

    If they defund the police I am screwed!

    MN5M 1 Reply Last reply
    7
  • JCJ Offline
    JCJ Offline
    JC
    replied to MN5 on last edited by
    #101

    @MN5 Solution-focussed. Nimble. Advocates for the client. Ooh, and a new one for the lockdown generation: Remote-tolerant.

    Victor MeldrewV 1 Reply Last reply
    5
  • MN5M Offline
    MN5M Offline
    MN5
    replied to Crazy Horse on last edited by
    #102

    @Crazy-Horse said in Lying on your resume:

    Thank fuck I am not in the corporate world. I hardly understand a single word in this thread.

    If they defund the police I am screwed!

    I worked for comms and had a crack at joining before I realised I hated shift work. The cops is still full of corporate wank speak though isn’t it ? ie it’s now the Police ‘Service’ cos ‘Force’ was too aggressive ?

    Crazy HorseC 1 Reply Last reply
    0
  • SmudgeS Offline
    SmudgeS Offline
    Smudge
    wrote on last edited by
    #103

    One of my relatives was in a corporate role at TVNZ in the mid-2000s and offered to show me round HQ when I was up in Auckland. Got to meet Mother of the Nation Judy Bailey just before the 6pm news and all that but the strangest moment was when my rellie was showing me round the newsroom. We reached the recently-appointed weather presenter, at which point my relative said "ah, yes, [insert name] caused us to change our interview questions once we hired [him/her]. [He/she] had never used a computer before but the team never thought to ask!"

    Said weather presenter smiled at me and carried on typing out their script - very slowly, might I add.

    Ah, what do I care - the presenter was Brendan Horan.

    MN5M 1 Reply Last reply
    5
  • Crazy HorseC Offline
    Crazy HorseC Offline
    Crazy Horse
    replied to MN5 on last edited by
    #104

    @MN5 said in Lying on your resume:

    @Crazy-Horse said in Lying on your resume:

    Thank fuck I am not in the corporate world. I hardly understand a single word in this thread.

    If they defund the police I am screwed!

    I worked for comms and had a crack at joining before I realised I hated shift work. The cops is still full of corporate wank speak though isn’t it ? ie it’s now the Police ‘Service’ cos ‘Force’ was too aggressive ?

    Not at street/operational level where I work. You are right though, 'off road' jobs can be full of that crap.

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
  • MN5M Offline
    MN5M Offline
    MN5
    replied to Smudge on last edited by
    #105

    @Smudge said in Lying on your resume:

    One of my relatives was in a corporate role at TVNZ in the mid-2000s and offered to show me round HQ when I was up in Auckland. Got to meet Mother of the Nation Judy Bailey just before the 6pm news and all that but the strangest moment was when my rellie was showing me round the newsroom. We reached the recently-appointed weather presenter, at which point my relative said "ah, yes, [insert name] caused us to change our interview questions once we hired [him/her]. [He/she] had never used a computer before but the team never thought to ask!"

    Said weather presenter smiled at me and carried on typing out their script - very slowly, might I add.

    Ah, what do I care - the presenter was Brendan Horan.

    Who ?

    G 1 Reply Last reply
    0
  • Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor Meldrew
    replied to JC on last edited by
    #106

    @JC said in Lying on your resume:

    @MN5 Solution-focussed. Nimble. Advocates for the client. Ooh, and a new one for the lockdown generation: Remote-tolerant.

    True story. About 15 years ago me and my then business partners decided to have a bit of fun and invent a frankly ridiculous business buzzword. We came up with "Gravitortional" - the concept that as an object or idea comes down from above it is subject to twisting forces.

    We casually dropped it into a number of dull client meetings and, yep, it was quoted back to us when we next met the client.

    1 Reply Last reply
    5
  • Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor Meldrew
    replied to MN5 on last edited by
    #107

    @MN5 said in Lying on your resume:

    No but I will definitely pinch that.

    The first piece of consultancy advice is generally free... 🙂

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
  • G Offline
    G Offline
    Godder
    replied to MN5 on last edited by
    #108

    @MN5 said in Lying on your resume:

    @Smudge said in Lying on your resume:

    One of my relatives was in a corporate role at TVNZ in the mid-2000s and offered to show me round HQ when I was up in Auckland. Got to meet Mother of the Nation Judy Bailey just before the 6pm news and all that but the strangest moment was when my rellie was showing me round the newsroom. We reached the recently-appointed weather presenter, at which point my relative said "ah, yes, [insert name] caused us to change our interview questions once we hired [him/her]. [He/she] had never used a computer before but the team never thought to ask!"

    Said weather presenter smiled at me and carried on typing out their script - very slowly, might I add.

    Ah, what do I care - the presenter was Brendan Horan.

    Who ?

    Brendan Horan - Wikipedia

    Brendan Horan - Wikipedia

    Wiki says he lost his job when Jim Hickey returned. Was also a former NZ First MP who got expelled from the party part way through his only term in Parliament.

    MN5M 1 Reply Last reply
    0
  • MN5M Offline
    MN5M Offline
    MN5
    replied to Godder on last edited by
    #109

    @Godder said in Lying on your resume:

    @MN5 said in Lying on your resume:

    @Smudge said in Lying on your resume:

    One of my relatives was in a corporate role at TVNZ in the mid-2000s and offered to show me round HQ when I was up in Auckland. Got to meet Mother of the Nation Judy Bailey just before the 6pm news and all that but the strangest moment was when my rellie was showing me round the newsroom. We reached the recently-appointed weather presenter, at which point my relative said "ah, yes, [insert name] caused us to change our interview questions once we hired [him/her]. [He/she] had never used a computer before but the team never thought to ask!"

    Said weather presenter smiled at me and carried on typing out their script - very slowly, might I add.

    Ah, what do I care - the presenter was Brendan Horan.

    Who ?

    Brendan Horan - Wikipedia

    Brendan Horan - Wikipedia

    Wiki says he lost his job when Jim Hickey returned. Was also a former NZ First MP who got expelled from the party part way through his only term in Parliament.

    4526572F-6087-4E76-981C-F3423C2756BB.jpeg

    That’s the only Horan I know

    CatograndeC 1 Reply Last reply
    1
  • CatograndeC Offline
    CatograndeC Offline
    Catogrande
    replied to MN5 on last edited by
    #110

    @MN5 said in Lying on your resume:

    @Godder said in Lying on your resume:

    @MN5 said in Lying on your resume:

    @Smudge said in Lying on your resume:

    One of my relatives was in a corporate role at TVNZ in the mid-2000s and offered to show me round HQ when I was up in Auckland. Got to meet Mother of the Nation Judy Bailey just before the 6pm news and all that but the strangest moment was when my rellie was showing me round the newsroom. We reached the recently-appointed weather presenter, at which point my relative said "ah, yes, [insert name] caused us to change our interview questions once we hired [him/her]. [He/she] had never used a computer before but the team never thought to ask!"

    Said weather presenter smiled at me and carried on typing out their script - very slowly, might I add.

    Ah, what do I care - the presenter was Brendan Horan.

    Who ?

    Brendan Horan - Wikipedia

    Brendan Horan - Wikipedia

    Wiki says he lost his job when Jim Hickey returned. Was also a former NZ First MP who got expelled from the party part way through his only term in Parliament.

    4526572F-6087-4E76-981C-F3423C2756BB.jpeg

    That’s the only Horan I know

    Did you have breakfast with him? You don't really KNOW someone until you've had breakfast with them.

    MN5M 1 Reply Last reply
    6
  • MN5M Offline
    MN5M Offline
    MN5
    replied to Catogrande on last edited by
    #111

    @Catogrande said in Lying on your resume:

    @MN5 said in Lying on your resume:

    @Godder said in Lying on your resume:

    @MN5 said in Lying on your resume:

    @Smudge said in Lying on your resume:

    One of my relatives was in a corporate role at TVNZ in the mid-2000s and offered to show me round HQ when I was up in Auckland. Got to meet Mother of the Nation Judy Bailey just before the 6pm news and all that but the strangest moment was when my rellie was showing me round the newsroom. We reached the recently-appointed weather presenter, at which point my relative said "ah, yes, [insert name] caused us to change our interview questions once we hired [him/her]. [He/she] had never used a computer before but the team never thought to ask!"

    Said weather presenter smiled at me and carried on typing out their script - very slowly, might I add.

    Ah, what do I care - the presenter was Brendan Horan.

    Who ?

    Brendan Horan - Wikipedia

    Brendan Horan - Wikipedia

    Wiki says he lost his job when Jim Hickey returned. Was also a former NZ First MP who got expelled from the party part way through his only term in Parliament.

    4526572F-6087-4E76-981C-F3423C2756BB.jpeg

    That’s the only Horan I know

    Did you have breakfast with him? You don't really KNOW someone until you've had breakfast with them.

    Na. He's no Liam Squire, Damian McKenzie, Jerome Kaino or Joe Moody.

    CatograndeC 1 Reply Last reply
    0
  • CatograndeC Offline
    CatograndeC Offline
    Catogrande
    replied to MN5 on last edited by
    #112

    @MN5 said in Lying on your resume:

    @Catogrande said in Lying on your resume:

    @MN5 said in Lying on your resume:

    @Godder said in Lying on your resume:

    @MN5 said in Lying on your resume:

    @Smudge said in Lying on your resume:

    One of my relatives was in a corporate role at TVNZ in the mid-2000s and offered to show me round HQ when I was up in Auckland. Got to meet Mother of the Nation Judy Bailey just before the 6pm news and all that but the strangest moment was when my rellie was showing me round the newsroom. We reached the recently-appointed weather presenter, at which point my relative said "ah, yes, [insert name] caused us to change our interview questions once we hired [him/her]. [He/she] had never used a computer before but the team never thought to ask!"

    Said weather presenter smiled at me and carried on typing out their script - very slowly, might I add.

    Ah, what do I care - the presenter was Brendan Horan.

    Who ?

    Brendan Horan - Wikipedia

    Brendan Horan - Wikipedia

    Wiki says he lost his job when Jim Hickey returned. Was also a former NZ First MP who got expelled from the party part way through his only term in Parliament.

    4526572F-6087-4E76-981C-F3423C2756BB.jpeg

    That’s the only Horan I know

    Did you have breakfast with him? You don't really KNOW someone until you've had breakfast with them.

    Na. He's no Liam Squire, Damian McKenzie, Jerome Kaino or Joe Moody.

    Well he’s played in as many RWC finals as that lot.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
  • NTAN Offline
    NTAN Offline
    NTA
    wrote on last edited by
    #113

    @JC said in Lying on your resume:

    @MN5 Solution-focussed. Nimble. Advocates for the client. Ooh, and a new one for the lockdown generation: Remote-tolerant.

    "Learnings" has preceded all these and IMHO brought society to its knees from an intellectual standpoint.

    JCJ 1 Reply Last reply
    3
  • JCJ Offline
    JCJ Offline
    JC
    replied to NTA on last edited by
    #114

    @NTA said in Lying on your resume:

    @JC said in Lying on your resume:

    @MN5 Solution-focussed. Nimble. Advocates for the client. Ooh, and a new one for the lockdown generation: Remote-tolerant.

    "Learnings" has preceded all these and IMHO brought society to its knees from an intellectual standpoint.

    Abomination. I was taught that if you have to pluralise a gerund you should choose a more appropriate noun. The world has gone mad.

    SnowyS 1 Reply Last reply
    3
  • SnowyS Offline
    SnowyS Offline
    Snowy
    replied to JC on last edited by
    #115

    @JC said in Lying on your resume:

    @NTA said in Lying on your resume:

    @JC said in Lying on your resume:

    @MN5 Solution-focussed. Nimble. Advocates for the client. Ooh, and a new one for the lockdown generation: Remote-tolerant.

    "Learnings" has preceded all these and IMHO brought society to its knees from an intellectual standpoint.

    Abomination. I was taught that if you have to pluralise a gerund you should choose a more appropriate noun. The world has gone mad.

    Oh man, they have let us all out on one day.

    1 Reply Last reply
    4

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