No kids, any regrets?
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@bayimports said in No kids, any regrets?:
@MN5 said in No kids, any regrets?:
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in No kids, any regrets?:
Given how it seems people with kids do nothing but bitch and complain about them (and in the early years look absolutely exhausted and destroyed most of the time) perhaps the surprising thing is why so many people still actually want to have kids.
What I do find funny is some childless couples who spoil their pets rotten and almost treat them like kids.
That’s my other half and her cat ( but she’s also beyond awesome with my boys which makes life easy )
This is sort of us too with our dogs. We walk them twice a day and have met all sorts of people as a result. Some of course you wish you didn't, but others have become friends. Sometimes it means take a couple of beers to the local park, let the dogs play while you quietly sink a couple. So can be fun!
I did this at my daughters athletics training the other week. Felt like an alco initially, but I recovered quickly ...
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@bayimports said in No kids, any regrets?:
@MN5 said in No kids, any regrets?:
@Rancid-Schnitzel said in No kids, any regrets?:
Given how it seems people with kids do nothing but bitch and complain about them (and in the early years look absolutely exhausted and destroyed most of the time) perhaps the surprising thing is why so many people still actually want to have kids.
What I do find funny is some childless couples who spoil their pets rotten and almost treat them like kids.
That’s my other half and her cat ( but she’s also beyond awesome with my boys which makes life easy )
This is sort of us too with our dogs. We walk them twice a day and have met all sorts of people as a result. Some of course you wish you didn't, but others have become friends. Sometimes it means take a couple of beers to the local park, let the dogs play while you quietly sink a couple. So can be fun!
Kids and fur babies are both good ways to meet people. As a single guy in a new city who knew a few people I found I really had to hustle to get out and about. And mates with girlfriends or their own friends were hard enough to link up with, it would be more challenging once they have kids. But there must be lots of like minded people in similar circumstances. Fuck knows where they hide though
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@Crazy-Horse said in No kids, any regrets?:
I have never felt any judgement or pressure to have kids. Maybe it's there and I am too far up my own arse to feel it.
Marriage is different. We are always getting asked when we are getting married.
It's women that seem to cop it in relation to kids. And it's either way these days, they can't win. When my (now) wife got pregnant at 22 (which was a whoops on our part) she got a lot of "you're too young, you've ruined your life!" etc. Now that we're in our 30s I'm certain the same people would be asking her why we don't have kids yet if we didn't have them.
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@chimoaus said in No kids, any regrets?:
@Kiwiwomble said in No kids, any regrets?:
do you mind if i add a supplementary question?
how do you make new friends without kids....it seems whenever someone talks about catching up with other couples (unless a relative) its someone theyve met through something kid based
Its one of the reasons ive going to try and get back into playing rugby (masters), meet some more people
TBH I don't have any friends in the town I recently moved to, sounds depressing writing that down. I am in the lucky position that my wife and I get on well and we do a lot together which is great. We also have the wife's family nearby and spend plenty of time with them.
All my family and childhood mates are in NZ so that is a bummer and being a bloke I don't stay in touch like I should. Would be great to have someone to watch the rugby with and have a chat but it can be bloody hard to find people you connect with in your 40's.
I also have a hobby/Job that is mainly done solo (not that :-)) so I don't get to meet many people.
Good luck with the rugby, not sure my body could handle that.
That’s sounds a lot like us, we do a lot together too
....and I’m not sure my bodies up to it either!
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@chimoaus said in No kids, any regrets?:
@Kiwiwomble said in No kids, any regrets?:
do you mind if i add a supplementary question?
how do you make new friends without kids....it seems whenever someone talks about catching up with other couples (unless a relative) its someone theyve met through something kid based
Its one of the reasons ive going to try and get back into playing rugby (masters), meet some more people
TBH I don't have any friends in the town I recently moved to, sounds depressing writing that down. I am in the lucky position that my wife and I get on well and we do a lot together which is great. We also have the wife's family nearby and spend plenty of time with them.
All my family and childhood mates are in NZ so that is a bummer and being a bloke I don't stay in touch like I should. Would be great to have someone to watch the rugby with and have a chat but it can be bloody hard to find people you connect with in your 40's.
I also have a hobby/Job that is mainly done solo (not that :-)) so I don't get to meet many people.
Good luck with the rugby, not sure my body could handle that.
Where are you living now Mate?
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None that I know of / come calling yet.
Lived a seasonal transient life since I left school so never really settled in one place or stayed with one girl long enough.
When I did in 2010 I was 43 and she was 38.
First questions on the verge of moving in together
Do you want to get married? Both of us, NO
Do you want kids? Both of us, NO10 years later all smiles
Worked with kids all my life.
14 summers at American Summer Camp
20 winters ski instructingGot nephew and nieces and extended family have kids so don't miss out on the family side of things.
No regrets.
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@MiketheSnow said in No kids, any regrets?:
None that I know of / come calling yet.
Lived a seasonal transient life since I left school so never really settled in one place or stayed with one girl long enough.
When I did in 2010 I was 43 and she was 38.
First questions on the verge of moving in together
Do you want to get married? Both of us, NO
Do you want kids? Both of us, NO10 years later all smiles
Worked with kids all my life.
14 summers at American Summer Camp
20 winters ski instructingGot nephew and nieces and extended family have kids so don't miss out on the family side of things.
No regrets.
I wonder if the number of powder days you've had is roughly equivalent to the number of nappies I've changed?
What an amazing thought
I'm opening another bottle
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@Rancid-Schnitzel A few hours out of Melbourne heading north.
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@chimoaus said in No kids, any regrets?:
@Rancid-Schnitzel A few hours out of Melbourne heading north.
Small town or one of the bigger centres like Wangaratta or Shepparton?
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So...
.. married in mid 30s to a lady a little older than me with a previous family (two kids she loves dearly but is out of touch with... for reasons I won't go into here...). Given her circumstances she was no longer able to have children.
We were never having kids. Just accepted fact. I'm not sure I reflected on this or even if I "regretted" it. It just was. We weren't having kids. It was her and me and we were happy.
Happens my Dad passed away in 2001.
As part of the grieving process Mrs Boo lines me up and asks me if I want kids. Honestly. DO YOU WANT KIDS? Searching within, well yeah I do. Mrs Boo then has to have surgery to make having kids possible again.
Not long after we end up with Ms Boo Jr. Best decision of our lives.
When @mariner4life or @taniwharugby or @NTA describe how they out of the blue come and share some random moment in their lives that's so awesome. And the joy at her successes at school and in sport transcend any I ever achieved for myself.
She's about to set sail into the world in a year or so, and Mrs Boo and I will have to find that spot we had 17 years ago when it was just her and I.
My point being is I think having child is beyond awesome.
But if we could go back 17 years (ok ... 18) I really don't think I would have have gone through life regretting it.
So @chimoaus don't . Regret not having kids that is. I wouldn't have.
But if you do have kids they are the best toys ever.
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Saw this on FB...on topic
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@ACT-Crusader Yeah not too far away from there out in the bush.
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@chimoaus said in No kids, any regrets?:
@ACT-Crusader Yeah not too far away from there out in the bush.
And let me tell you - as a former country boy - I'm jealous as shit of that.
Once these two little food / money black holes move out I'm going to work hard on Mrs TA to GTFO of Sydney.
In fact I'm considering pushing one or both of them to rural Universities like Charles Sturt Wagga/Bathurst/Orange or UNE in Armidale in order to look at investment properties they can rent back off me with friends.
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i shit you not some friends of ours just announced last night they're having a lockdown baby
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Fuck me. You guys who are getting pressure to have kids, getting told you're selfish for not, too old, too young, whatever the fuck. I reckon the decision you ought to be agonising over is who you're hanging out with if they think they're entitled to tell you what you ought to do on such a personal matter. And that includes the family members, just tell the rude fluffybunnies to fuck off and mind their own business.
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@voodoo said in No kids, any regrets?:
I really don't understand smug bastards with kids who call those who choose not to have them "selfish". Where is the rulebook for life that says you have to breed? In fact, you could probably mount a much better argument that having more than 1 kid is the far more selfish option.
Its truly weird to me
This. I've even had that on here from Redbeard many years ago and thought what a judgmental bullshit comment it was (the comment, not necessarily him personally).
Wife and I made a concious decision that we didn't want them for various reasons, one of which was that she would have basically been a solo mum due to my job and the amount of time that I spent away, as well as the fact that we eventually delayed having them for so long that we looked at each other one night and said "do we even want them?" That was a no.
We have 6 neices and nephews and spent plenty of time with them all. They are all relatively grown up now but still a big part of our lives.
We are both very pleased with the decision not to have kids and we do have animals anyway (pets rather than children). As for meeting people, get a cute dog - complete chick magnet.
So definitely no regerts.
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@NTA said in No kids, any regrets?:
@chimoaus said in No kids, any regrets?:
@ACT-Crusader Yeah not too far away from there out in the bush.
And let me tell you - as a former country boy - I'm jealous as shit of that.
Once these two little food / money black holes move out I'm going to work hard on Mrs TA to GTFO of Sydney.
In fact I'm considering pushing one or both of them to rural Universities like Charles Sturt Wagga/Bathurst/Orange or UNE in Armidale in order to look at investment properties they can rent back off me with friends.
Will you be able to take the Powerwall with you?
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@Snowy said in No kids, any regrets?:
This. I've even had that on here from Redbeard many years ago and thought what a judgmental bullshit comment it was (the comment, not necessarily him personally).
Didn't the Baron have some fucking bizarre/opinionated thoughts on this as well?
(Okay, as soon as I typed that - I realised that this is a bit redundant... and could go in absolutely any thread) -
