Movie review thread...
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@kirwan im looking forward to this one...will probably be disappointed
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@kiwiwomble said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kirwan im looking forward to this one...will probably be disappointed
Am cautiously excited. The fact it's written and directed by Jason Reitman is a good start.
Also that it's in the same universe as GB1 & 2, and we are getting Bull Murray as Peter Venkman again is great.
All hinges on what else they have after nostalgia.
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@catogrande said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Page Eight. A downbeat and understated spy drama made for TV film. There are two sequels which I've yet to watch. Stars Bill Nighy and Rachel Weisz. No explosions or gun play and sadly no tits but a well thought out and written film with some very good performances from the leads and most of the supporting cast.
Bill Nighy plays an ageing lothario very well.
4 slightly sleazy old spies out of four naive hotties.
This thread has clearly descended into talking about Z grade flicks from the 80s/90s. Can you please stop hijacking it ? Cheers.
Do you mind, I’m trying to be controversial.
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@catogrande they were all a decent enough watch from my recollection.
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It’s so easy and other lies.....
Really good doco, live spoken word type flick about the most important member of GnR, Duff McKagan. Pretty well done yarns about how he conquered his demons backed up by some slightly lounge style GnR backing music. Duff ( fun fact: the Simpsons named the beer after him and his drinking ability ) seems like a bloody nice bloke too.
3.5 Mr Brownstones out of 5 Paradise Cities
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Ok. So Outcast. Made around 7/8 years ago but popped up on Netflix. Despite the fact that this is a crossover between a Crusader story and a pre Genghis China story, there is something that reminds me of Heat.
Whilst Heat was a great film, there was the other thing about it. The chemistry between Pacino and De Niro and who could out act the other. Well this film is a bit shit and underlying that is the contest between Nic Cage and Haydn Christiansen to see who can push the boundaries of shit acting the furtherest. This is a fucking close call and one that I yet to have decided upon. Partly because I have not been able to finish the film yet, but mostly due to the contrast between Cage’s over the top prime ham and Christiansen’s total lack of acting ability.
I shall report back in a day or two when I might have been able to finish the thing.
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@catogrande said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The chemistry between Pacino and De Niro and who could out act the other.
Yeah the acting can make a difference.
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@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@catogrande said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The chemistry between Pacino and De Niro and who could out act the other.
Yeah the acting can make a difference.
I never realised it was that close word for word.....I thought it was a ‘loose remake’.
Goes to show how outstanding De Niro and Pacino are at their best
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@catogrande said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Ok. So Outcast. Made around 7/8 years ago but popped up on Netflix. Despite the fact that this is a crossover between a Crusader story and a pre Genghis China story, there is something that reminds me of Heat.
Whilst Heat was a great film, there was the other thing about it. The chemistry between Pacino and De Niro and who could out act the other. Well this film is a bit shit and underlying that is the contest between Nic Cage and Haydn Christiansen to see who can push the boundaries of shit acting the furtherest. This is a fucking close call and one that I yet to have decided upon. Partly because I have not been able to finish the film yet, but mostly due to the contrast between Cage’s over the top prime ham and Christiansen’s total lack of acting ability.
I shall report back in a day or two when I might have been able to finish the thing.
OK I managed, just, to finish this steaming pile. It took me 5 sittings. Truly awful despite some ok fight scenes.
1 slice of Cage condemned ham out of 5 Haydn Christiansen wooden dolls.
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Beyond the Law - starring Steven Seagal and DMX.
What - you wanna know more?
This was released in 2019 - so it's an old, salt-n-pepa, DMX. And a Steven Seagal who is only going to walk through a house, if it's done in multiple takes.
Literally - the most movement he does in the entire thing is walking through a house, near the beginning. After that, I presume he wheezed "fuck that, give me the script... right, I'm going to be this awesome guy, but never really on camera, and I'll just do 5 seconds of action near the end to make it obvious that I'm the best, nobody can beat me with fists or guns... sorted."
To be fair - both Seagal and DMX are actually supporting parts... I dunno if that makes it better or worse.
Plot-holes: many. (You know how lots of nerd movies result in some "What did the final scene of ... mean?" blogs/articles? I really want to see if anybody's come up with a sensible explanation for the final scene of this one.)
Tits: there's a scene in a strip bar, and yet... still my count was: zero.
2 DMXs out of 5 Dandits. -
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Beyond the Law - starring Steven Seagal and DMX.
What - you wanna know more?
This was released in 2019 - so it's an old, salt-n-pepa, DMX. And a Steven Seagal who is only going to walk through a house, if it's done in multiple takes.
Literally - the most movement he does in the entire thing is walking through a house, near the beginning. After that, I presume he wheezed "fuck that, give me the script... right, I'm going to be this awesome guy, but never really on camera, and I'll just do 5 seconds of action near the end to make it obvious that I'm the best, nobody can beat me with fists or guns... sorted."
To be fair - both Seagal and DMX are actually supporting parts... I dunno if that makes it better or worse.
Plot-holes: many. (You know how lots of nerd movies result in some "What did the final scene of ... mean?" blogs/articles? I really want to see if anybody's come up with a sensible explanation for the final scene of this one.)
Tits: there's a scene in a strip bar, and yet... still my count was: zero.
2 DMXs out of 5 Dandits.This review is better than the movie.....which I haven’t even seen but know to be true.
I’ve mentioned it before but Seagal stands apart from Arnie, Sly, Chuck, Jean Claude and Dolph because a) he won’t show ANY sort of vulnerability on screen and b) ( much more importantly ) he won’t show ANY ability to laugh at himself and take the piss.
If he did I might not think all his movies were utter shit.
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Fast and Fierce: Death Race - starring DMX.
50% of IMDB reviews gave this 1 star, with most of those - saying it deserved less.
Every review I read told me not to watch it.
The title told me everything I needed to know - this was going to be a terrible film of "The Asylum" proportions (looked it up afterwards... sure enough - production company: The Asylum)
But - RIP DMX, so I watched it.I highly recommend.
Plot: obviously nonsensical.
Tits: none.
Car racing action - the first 10 minutes or so are nerve-wracking scenes of 3 cars racing against each other on long straight stretches of the mexican desert. "Oh, he's passing me... change up a gear". "Oh - he's punched the nitro button... I'll re-arrange my grip on the steering wheel and... change up a gear". Repeat: ad nauseum.Tension, high stakes - constantly undermined by the plot changing, and who gives a shit. The guy who is being held hostage, goes out to the bar and has some drinks at one point. And the lead baddie (at that point in time) - only gets annoyed/murderous because she watches him "ignore" her incoming call on his cellphone.
And then... the finale. At this point - it seems like they just give up even trying.
(To be fair - I realised after trying to describe how awful the quality of the production for the last 15 minutes was... the release date was 2020. They quite obviously just did some godawful overdubbing (I cannot exaggerate how awful this was... 1970's kung-fu level) over already filmed shots, threw it together with a quick edit between lockdown masties, and released it)DMX was the best actor in it, for chrissake - but they took him off-screen very early on, and then threw in some bullshit semi-plot-point to explain him never appearing again... except for what may have been a body-double in the finale.
1 gear-change up to what, it must be about 8th gear by now? - out of - 5 wonderfully white-ass-cracker ladies chewing the shit out of a mexican accent, or maybe colombian? Fuck - maybe russian-venezuelan?
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@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@rancid-schnitzel said in Re: Movie review thread...:
American Ninja
I’m normally a fan of the so-bad-it’s-good action films pumped out by Cannon in the 80s. But damn, this one is next level shit. The acting, action, effects - everything - are horrendous. Even the inclusion of the incomparable Steve James (RIP) makes no difference. In fact it’s heartbreaking to watch him get his arse kicked by the worst leading action man in cinematic history. Seriously, Michael Dudikoff looks and acts like someone on Valium. He makes Arnie look like Daniel Day-Lewis.
And they made not one but three sequels to this! Christ on a bike.
I always got him and Michael Biehn confused. However the latter did have the distinction of starring in two of the greatest action/sci fi flicks in history before descending into B movie purgatory. As far as I know the former started there and remained there.
Bit harsh mixing a guy with some actual talent with the Dudikoff. Biehn did pop up again a few times. He was great in the Rock. Never really broke out though. Maybe it didn’t help that he was overshadowed by Arnie and Sigorny in his two biggest roles.
Dudikoff can actually be found as one of Tom Hanks’ degenerate mates in Bachelor Party. Not exactly action star pedigree.
His career is not going strong:
Gotta say that sounds good.
Nearly as good as Going Down for Days: Lesbos at Nemo's.
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