Movie review thread...
-
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I'm watching the latest dadsploitation movie, Nobody. Now the inciting incident is beating up some guys because they were drunk and got on a bus? They're really have given up.
I think you might have missed some bits.
I'm right in the middle of this, as I said earlier in the thread can't understand how much you guys are hyping it and conversely can't understand how much @Tim is hating on it.
-
The Little Things
Well... what a crock of shit.
Expectations were middling after the recommendations/references earlier in this thread - but even in the initial scene of "girl being stalked - oh how scary" - shit, how many things to pick apart in that?
And then the actual "detective procedural"/"mystery crime thriller" starts...- the one and only interesting mystery in this was figuring out how the movie got to be made.
And it's not that much of a mystery, it seems fairly obvious...
A shitty crime-thriller is presented to some movie companies in the 90s.
It is rightly dismissed as crap.
Se7en comes out, and is a hit.
Somebody finds this script, and says "Hey - if we re-worked this to be heaps more like Se7en - we could make some money"
So somebody re-writes bits so that there is a semi-idealistic white kid detective with a lovable family, a jaded black detective, and a psychological show-down in the middle of nowhere
But then, the real twist - it gets made... 25 fucking years later. - TL;DR: This really was like an Asylum-level Se7en remake, but 25 years after the fact, and somehow managing to cast Denzel and Mr Robot, amongst a decent supporting cast
Just... What The Actual Fuck. I like digging holes, but I ain't gonna dig more than one if I've got a guy who I legitimately think is a murderous fluffybunny to do it for me.
2 "Dig This Hole For Me, Prick"s, out of 5 "Yeah, fair enough - that reveal of historic girl #3's death was a very, very slight redemption of the overall tripe"
- the one and only interesting mystery in this was figuring out how the movie got to be made.
-
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Little Things
Well... what a crock of shit.
Expectations were middling after the recommendations/references earlier in this thread - but even in the initial scene of "girl being stalked - oh how scary" - shit, how many things to pick apart in that?
And then the actual "detective procedural"/"mystery crime thriller" starts...- the one and only interesting mystery in this was figuring out how the movie got to be made.
And it's not that much of a mystery, it seems fairly obvious...
A shitty crime-thriller is presented to some movie companies in the 90s.
It is rightly dismissed as crap.
Se7en comes out, and is a hit.
Somebody finds this script, and says "Hey - if we re-worked this to be heaps more like Se7en - we could make some money"
So somebody re-writes bits so that there is a semi-idealistic white kid detective with a lovable family, a jaded black detective, and a psychological show-down in the middle of nowhere
But then, the real twist - it gets made... 25 fucking years later. - TL;DR: This really was like an Asylum-level Se7en remake, but 25 years after the fact, and somehow managing to cast Denzel and Mr Robot, amongst a decent supporting cast
Just... What The Actual Fuck. I like digging holes, but I ain't gonna dig more than one if I've got a guy who I legitimately think is a murderous fluffybunny to do it for me.
2 "Dig This Hole For Me, Prick"s, out of 5 "Yeah, fair enough - that reveal of historic girl #3's death was a very, very slight redemption of the overall tripe"
Hahaha, that was funny in a complete WTF is going on way, but as I mentioned earlier in the thread I think the Se7en comparisons are being way over done in relation to this movie.
- the one and only interesting mystery in this was figuring out how the movie got to be made.
-
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Little Things
The give away is when the same person writes, directs and produces a movie. You could say it's to protect the artistic vision, but normally it's cause no one else will touch it.
-
The Courier
Based on the true story of Greville Wynne a British salesman who is recruited to transport Russian secrets in an effort to ease tensions in the Cuban missile crisis.
I know little of this guy to know how much is fact based but was a decent watch with Cumberbatch as Wynne.
3.5 WTF is he eating out of 5 its a Russian prison what do you think it could be...
-
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Little Things
The give away is when the same person writes, directs and produces a movie. You could say it's to protect the artistic vision, but normally it's cause no one else will touch it.
Shit - I didn't notice that. That makes it worse... I assumed it was movie execs who had shoe-horned a shitty script into an even shittier movie by insisting on all the Se7en-parody bollocks.
But this was one guys vision, from start to finish? WTF?
And he was proud enough of it to actually release it to the public? He's shat out a monster - a morning-after-12-pints-of-Guiness monster of a turd - and then decided to put it in a glass box and parade it around in front of the family. -
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Little Things
The give away is when the same person writes, directs and produces a movie. You could say it's to protect the artistic vision, but normally it's cause no one else will touch it.
Shit - I didn't notice that. That makes it worse... I assumed it was movie execs who had shoe-horned a shitty script into an even shittier movie by insisting on all the Se7en-parody bollocks.
But this was one guys vision, from start to finish? WTF?
And he was proud enough of it to actually release it to the public? He's shat out a monster - a morning-after-12-pints-of-Guiness monster of a turd - and then decided to put it in a glass box and parade it around in front of the family.Upvote for the description.
-
Rocky IV. Nuff said.
-
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@antipodean said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Little Things
The give away is when the same person writes, directs and produces a movie. You could say it's to protect the artistic vision, but normally it's cause no one else will touch it.
... Monster of a turd - and then decided to put it in a glass box and parade it around in front of the family.
Aaand I am immediately transported back to when a Roysl Marine that played at our club described his time aboard the Royal Yacht Britannia. Apparently some of the lower deck crew had isolated the plumbing and extracted a turd that was purportedly that of Princess Margaret and had mounted (said turd - for @Notrildamus) in a glass case.
-
@catogrande said in Re: Movie review thread...:
and had mounted in a glass case.
had mounted the turd, not the princess, hopefully.
Back to your story...The souvenir was reputedly lost in a game of poker after someone had struck a royal flush. -
Terminator Dark Fate
Ok, it pretty much says it all when I can’t even sit through the whole thing. Such a confusing, yet tired, storyline ( which if I’m correct means the last three movies never happened ) and just rubbish all round. The first two Terminator movies are absolute classics but this franchise has taken a dive of Jaws like proportions.....big explosions and actions scenes but no tension and Arnies character settling down with a family ? Didn’t he get squashed in the first movie ? The female leads are all varying degrees of irritating and the evil unstoppable Terminator is just rehashing shit we’ve seen before.
Time for this series to be put permanently off line
1.5 bad Arnie acting out of 5 gratuitous explosions
-
@tim O for awesome.
PS where in hell do you dig these things up from?
I mean I’ve tried typing in “shit films” and all I get is two fat naked chicks on a glass top coffee table.
-
@catogrande close the living room door mate
-
@bones said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@catogrande close the living room door mate
On the way out or on the way in? I need explicit instructions from an expert.
-
@catogrande definitely in.
-
@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I'm watching the latest dadsploitation movie, Nobody. Now the inciting incident is beating up some guys because they were drunk and got on a bus? They're really have given up.
RIght, so I gave the latest dadspoilation movie, Nobody, another go,
- My first thought - only figured out a while into the movie on first watch, to be fair - that the soundtrack choice was done by a kid - with a thought process of "this scene is about how the guy is a nice guy, with good intentions - so I'll pick "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood";
and this one is about how he's been trying to be a suburban dad, but got pushed into this where he's just going to... "I've Gotta Be Me" - was pretty much spot on. -
- The director got his teenage son to do the soundtrack
- Other criticisms... this was by no means a typical "Death Wish" or dadsploitation movie. If anything, on a second watch, it was almost a deliberate remake of the shitty '80s movies, but done well.
- Or - maybe, it wasn't deliberate. On this rewatch, realising how much of it was shit that I would take the piss out of on re-watching some random 80's crap movie.. .plot-wise, continuity-gap-wise, etc - it did make me wonder if I was just giving it a pass because it was recent, or that it wasn't Lundgren/etc.
eg: Nobody being stuck in a car, looking out the back - and being on a freeway... so sticking a fire-extinguisher through the backseat (exactly where the black-saffa was clearly sitting a second ago) and causing a crash in a deserted city street
Anyway - I still thought it was fun. And I'm looking forward to re-watching John Wick with that same pair of jaded sunglassed "would I give this a pass if it had been made in the 80's"
Edit: re-reading that myself, smashed, it's pretty obvious I'm smashed. But... I stand by the sentiment.
- My first thought - only figured out a while into the movie on first watch, to be fair - that the soundtrack choice was done by a kid - with a thought process of "this scene is about how the guy is a nice guy, with good intentions - so I'll pick "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood";
-
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I'm watching the latest dadsploitation movie, Nobody. Now the inciting incident is beating up some guys because they were drunk and got on a bus? They're really have given up.
RIght, so I gave the latest dadspoilation movie, Nobody, another go,
- My first thought - only figured out a while into the movie on first watch, to be fair - that the soundtrack choice was done by a kid - with a thought process of "this scene is about how the guy is a nice guy, with good intentions - so I'll pick "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood";
and this one is about how he's been trying to be a suburban dad, but got pushed into this where he's just going to... "I've Gotta Be Me" - was pretty much spot on. -
- The director got his teenage son to do the soundtrack
- Other criticisms... this was by no means a typical "Death Wish" or dadsploitation movie. If anything, on a second watch, it was almost a deliberate remake of the shitty '80s movies, but done well.
- Or - maybe, it wasn't deliberate. On this rewatch, realising how much of it was shit that I would take the piss out of on re-watching some random 80's crap movie.. .plot-wise, continuity-gap-wise, etc - it did make me wonder if I was just giving it a pass because it was recent, or that it wasn't Lundgren/etc.
eg: Nobody being stuck in a car, looking out the back - and being on a freeway... so sticking a fire-extinguisher through the backseat (exactly where the black-saffa was clearly sitting a second ago) and causing a crash in a deserted city street
Anyway - I still thought it was fun. And I'm looking forward to re-watching John Wick with that same pair of jaded sunglassed "would I give this a pass if it had been made in the 80's"
Edit: re-reading that myself, smashed, it's pretty obvious I'm smashed. But... I stand by the sentiment.
You’re the ferns best film reviewer by far....much of this is due to lack of competition.....but you’re still the best.
- My first thought - only figured out a while into the movie on first watch, to be fair - that the soundtrack choice was done by a kid - with a thought process of "this scene is about how the guy is a nice guy, with good intentions - so I'll pick "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood";
-
Jojo Rabbit
Not usually one to get on kiwi bandwagons, in fact I usually avoid them like the plague but this is one I’m glad I didn’t. Considering I nearly turned it off in the first 15 minutes ( when it just seemed juvenile and stupid ) I was really impressed what a well made and poignant flick it turned out to be. I am a sucker for a good WWII era movie and this is up there with some of the best. Shit the lead kid has some acting chops on him and some great support from the rest of them ( even that big fat Australian chick wasn’t too irritating )
4 Hitler Youths out of 5 Gestapo Agents.
