Movie review thread...
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Clean
We all know the tried and true story of "there's this guy, right - just trying to live a modest life, despite his violent past. Until something happens, and he's dragged back into being a hard-ass mo-fo, (probably to protect some young girl he's formed an attachment to)".
What we never knew was that we'd all missed out on the obvious version of that "modest life" - a garbage man. Until now.
Adrien Brody has now fixed that oversight, thank god.And who best to provide the soundtrack to such a fundamental story? Adrien Brody.
That's right: Original Music/Score: Adrien Brody. Every second song in the credits is accredited to "Brody Beats".I'm not sure much more needs to be said. But...
- Tit-watch: zero
- Repeated flashbacks bulking up runtime: maybe 33% of runtime? (Despite which... I'm still not sure what actually happened.)
- Unnecessary close-ups of Adrien Brody's torso - 1 overly long scene
- Methods in which Adrien Brody is shown to be a swell guy:
- drives a "souped-up" car;
- feeds a stray dog;
- finds "scrap" during his garbage collection, uses that to restore shit, sells that shit to a pawn shop, uses proceeds to buy dodgy "seconds" paint, uses this lead-based paint to paint abandoned houses;
- doesn't use the hundreds-of-thousands of dollars in "past-life-suitcase" to do anything, until the obvious murderous rampage;
creeps onbefriends a pre-teen girl;- doesn't accept prescription for painkillers when legitimately offered.
1 "is that a home-made silencer for a shotgun which you've just sawn the stock off, and then are only going to use AFTER you've driven a fucking garbage truck into a house?" ...
... out of 5 "how did you ever even figure out who the Big Bad was, when there's been nothing to attach him to this?" -
@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
Clean
We all know the tried and true story of "there's this guy, right - just trying to live a modest life, despite his violent past. Until something happens, and he's dragged back into being a hard-ass mo-fo, (probably to protect some young girl he's formed an attachment to)".
What we never knew was that we'd all missed out on the obvious version of that "modest life" - a garbage man. Until now.
Adrien Brody has now fixed that oversight, thank god.And who best to provide the soundtrack to such a fundamental story? Adrien Brody.
That's right: Original Music/Score: Adrien Brody. Every second song in the credits is accredited to "Brody Beats".I'm not sure much more needs to be said. But...
- Tit-watch: zero
- Repeated flashbacks bulking up runtime: maybe 33% of runtime? (Despite which... I'm still not sure what actually happened.)
- Unnecessary close-ups of Adrien Brody's torso - 1 overly long scene
- Methods in which Adrien Brody is shown to be a swell guy:
- drives a "souped-up" car;
- feeds a stray dog;
- finds "scrap" during his garbage collection, uses that to restore shit, sells that shit to a pawn shop, uses proceeds to buy dodgy "seconds" paint, uses this lead-based paint to paint abandoned houses;
- doesn't use the hundreds-of-thousands of dollars in "past-life-suitcase" to do anything, until the obvious murderous rampage;
creeps onbefriends a pre-teen girl;- doesn't accept prescription for painkillers when legitimately offered.
1 "is that a home-made silencer for a shotgun which you've just sawn the stock off, and then are only going to use AFTER you've driven a fucking garbage truck into a house?" ...
... out of 5 "how did you ever even figure out who the Big Bad was, when there's been nothing to attach him to this?"Good to see Brody step up now that Liam Neeson, Bruce Willis, Nicholas Cage and John Travolta are getting a bit long in the tooth.
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Nowhere Special. James Norton plays a single Dad of a little boy in Belfast. He (the Dad) is dying and trying to find a family for his son to live with before he goes. Nothing much happens but the quality of the acting and the direction while the nothing is happening is brilliant. Very, very dusty in the lounge by the end, hadn’t realised how poorly we’ve been vacuuming
5 picture books out of 5 heavily tattooed arms.
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We've all at sometime or another gone down the "take one for the team" road but you're going above and beyond. You need to take a step back and consider what effect your actions may be having on you and your wider family.
Many of us are beginning to worry for your mental health if you keep this up
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Romper Stomper
I wouldn’t have seen this film since I was in college.
A bit dated but some good intense acting from a very young and thin Russell Crowe as leader of a gang of skinheads who get their come uppance from a gang of Asians. Some decent performance and surprisingly catchy ( and extremely offensive ) songs.
3 skinhead skinheads ! out of 5 Gook bashings.
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The Burning Sea - a Norwegian disaster movie about one of the Oil Platforms in the North Sea that collapses and the impending disaster this is the prelude to.
Obviously there is a message in the film, but is more just a disaster movie, with a message.
3 collapsing rigs out of 5 man there are alot of rigs out there!
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@antipodean said in Movie review thread...:
Jay and Silent Bob don’t seem to age at all.
Dante and Randal look FUCKEN old though, I guess all those years serving custies take their toll.
Will go and see this but in typical “sequel coming out years later” fashion I won’t hold my breath it is any good.
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Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022
Look, I’m not @Kruse, I did go into this thinking it could be pretty decent but fuck me I’m sick of invincible weirdos who get that way simply by living in their Mums basement for 40 years ( forget AB conditioning programmes, if you want to be a unit just be disfigured and hide for decades )
Utter shit, only lasted about 45 minutes. You know a movie is gonna be terrible when they don’t even have the budget to film in Texas, apparently this was made in Bulgaria.
The only hot chick bagged it early on, fuck knows what happened to the others cos I’d turned off by then. The way Leatherface killed the cop in the car was absolutely beyond stupid, using his own wrist bone to stab him, what the fuck ?
Avoid this like the plague
1 didn’t even see a chainsaw out of 5 why didn’t the cop just shoot him ?
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The Contractor
This was bad.
But I can't really say WHY it was bad.
Just... really weird 'pacing', if that's a thing?
Or maybe I'm just a bigot, and all the bothering of god early on in the piece put me off. God-botherers and uber-patriotic seppos.... ugh.
Anyway... the latest Captain Kirk... Chris something? Pine? As an Army Ranger. Who gets laid off, coz he's popping drugs for his fucked up knee. But he's broke. And wants to fix his roof. Gets recruited by his mate into a supposedly legit semi-private military contracting firm. It's run by a Sutherland. Guess what... spoiler... it's maybe not so legit. An op in Berlin goes sideways. Shit happens. More shit happens. The stiltedness of this review matches the movie. He comes back to the US. Expected Twist! Maybe undo that twist! Let's go after Sutherland! Very subdued showdown. The end.- Flashbacks... I'm getting pretty fucked off with flashbacks. Once again, this bad movie was padded out with bad flashbacks. Of a 10 year old getting a tattoo. Boo fucking hoo.
- TItwatch: zero. Which is probably for the best, the only female character was played by Gillian Jacobs, and as far as I'm aware, her personal Titwatch is zero.
1 over-the-top fully spec-ops kitted out op to take out 1 scientist, out of 5 under-kitted-out forays into the world by a man who believes he's being hunted by spec-ops teams.
And for those concerned about my well-being with this latest flurry of absolute shit movies... to be fair, I have interspersed then with some less-shit (Moonfall, Uncharted, Matrix: 4, etc), and a re-watch of guilty-pleasure Nobody.
But mostly - I've had a carrot dangling at the end of all this... I am looking forward very much to Everything Everywhere All At Once - I've got it downloaded, but now see it's still playing at the local cinema this weekend - so might indulge in that. -
@Machpants said in Movie review thread...:
@Kruse You're a masochist
I'm currently doing a mini-binge of The Boys to balance out the movie-shit.
Soooo good. -
Missed the F1 and having seen the result thought I’d just wait for the highlights and was channel hopping. Clicked on the last 10 minutes, if that, of The Godfather. Less than ten minutes and you can see what a perfect film it was.
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It's anything but a Fern movie, but we ended up watching The Railway Children from 1970 with the family. Feel-good family movie which I actually, surprisingly enjoyed.
3.5 young Jenny Agutter's out of 5 steam locomotives
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Just see it
Mark Rylance is a hoot
5 fores out of 5 Opens
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The Harder They Fall
To be fair, I didn't know what I was watching when I started this.
First - I assumed a Western with all black(/Black?) actors/characters - and I figured... sure, why not?
But, I soon suspected this was not that good...
Eventually I realised it was a "modern Blaxploitation Western"... and it started to make more sense.
And I could enjoy some of the aspects...- Particularly: Style over realism
- Style over realism can be good, and was good. Stupidly stylistic gunfights. Stupidly stylistic dance-shows/decor in western taverns.
- Contemporary music, dancin', etc
- over-the-top "it's-a-white-town" commentary
But - it was missing some critical aspects...
- Titwatch: zero
AND - there's one aspect of Blaxploitation and similar genres which I've never been able to cope with, and which this movie decided to stay true to....
- fucking stupid plot holes
Fuck, I hate stupid/ridiculous plot. This would have been a reasonably enjoyable romp, but for that.
2 inexplicable early-plot decisions by the baddies out of 5 inexplicable middle-plot decisions by the goodies.Edit: the more I think about this, the more angry I get... who takes a genre, takes some time, and keeps "stupid plot" but throws away "gratuitious nudity"? What the actual fuck?
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@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
The Harder They Fall
To be fair, I didn't know what I was watching when I started this.
First - I assumed a Western with all black(/Black?) actors/characters - and I figured... sure, why not?
But, I soon suspected this was not that good...
Eventually I realised it was a "modern Blaxploitation Western"... and it started to make more sense.
And I could enjoy some of the aspects...- Particularly: Style over realism
- Style over realism can be good, and was good. Stupidly stylistic gunfights. Stupidly stylistic dance-shows/decor in western taverns.
- Contemporary music, dancin', etc
- over-the-top "it's-a-white-town" commentary
But - it was missing some critical aspects...
- Titwatch: zero
AND - there's one aspect of Blaxploitation and similar genres which I've never been able to cope with, and which this movie decided to stay true to....
- fucking stupid plot holes
Fuck, I hate stupid/ridiculous plot. This would have been a reasonably enjoyable romp, but for that.
2 inexplicable early-plot decisions by the baddies out of 5 inexplicable middle-plot decisions by the goodies.Edit: the more I think about this, the more angry I get... who takes a genre, takes some time, and keeps "stupid plot" but throws away "gratuitious nudity"? What the actual fuck?
File under 'Right On and fuck right off'
Unlike the Blaxploitation movies of the 70s, no-one will be talking about this 50 years hence.
NO ONE
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@MiketheSnow what a story, I really hope they didnt embellish it!
The Phantom of the Open (2021) ⭐ 7.0 | Biography, Comedy, Drama
