Mental Illness.
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@canefan said in Mental Illness.:
CF Jr can play for hours. But it just makes him someone I don't like very much, very resistant to going out, sullen and argumentative, doesn't put much effort into a lot of stuff, just thinking of when he can get back on the vids
It's all about the balance, I think. My oldest friend's son is on the autistic scale with Asperger's and he had a really bad time with depression when he was 10. Computer games helped a lot and kept him quiet but his mum insisted on other stuff. He took up drumming as well which helped hugely.
He's in his late-20's now and manages really well - cycles everywhere. He designs computer interfaces and games for a living...
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@Tim said in Mental Illness.:
@Frank said in Mental Illness.:
Then there's a few women at my work essentially addicted to anti-anxiety medication (Xanax).
IIRC, you work in Asia? My anecdotal experience is that benzodiazepines (very potent drugs) are prescribed liberally in several East Asian countries, especially compared to Commonwealth countries. My doctor in NZ would be very hesitant to prescribe them to me, but I've been offered them by doctors in China for several issues.
There is a guy who is/was famous for giving out whatever at a certain clinic in the city where I live. I have a couple of of friends who went in to get Xanax before their dissertation defenses; apparently it brings you down to just the right level of calmness to answer questions coherently and sound like you actually know what you are talking about.
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@gt12 said in Mental Illness.:
@Tim said in Mental Illness.:
@Frank said in Mental Illness.:
Then there's a few women at my work essentially addicted to anti-anxiety medication (Xanax).
IIRC, you work in Asia? My anecdotal experience is that benzodiazepines (very potent drugs) are prescribed liberally in several East Asian countries, especially compared to Commonwealth countries. My doctor in NZ would be very hesitant to prescribe them to me, but I've been offered them by doctors in China for several issues.
There is a guy who is/was famous for giving out whatever at a certain clinic in the city where I live. I have a couple of of friends who went in to get Xanax before their dissertation defenses; apparently it brings you down to just the right level of calmness to answer questions coherently and sound like you actually know what you are talking about.
If you aren't confident about your game, just buy yourself game
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@MajorRage as @canefan above mentioned, gaming, I'd add that to SM and obesity as a big issue.
The aggression and bullying that goes on in there is awful.
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I'd add it's also poss. gender-related. Unscientific analysis, but SM angst/bullying seems more of an issue with the female members of the wider whanau than with the boys. The latter seem more interested in gaming 24/7.
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I've had battles with mental health over the years, but in hindsight I would say 95% of it has just been the ups and downs of being a person. The 5% of it which wasn't though is very very different.
Had my first bit of depression in 3rd year university. It was pretty scary as I honestly didn't have a clue what to do about it. I was sitting in a lecture and over the course of it I started to feel very down. It was a completely different feeling to being upset / pissed off / blah or "in a bit of a funk" as it's colloquially known. I struggled to see the point of absolutely anything and really felt like shit. The freakiest part though was that I just didn't feel like I was actually me and I was looking down on me. I went to bed at night genuinely scared and worried that I would wake up the next day feeling the same. I went to dinner with my other half, tried to explain it and she didn't get it. On the way home, we stopped at the servo to pick up some completely pointless rags (I think one was called Thats Life) to try and get some perspective. It just didn't work, I couldn't break it. After about 4 days when I was walking home, I realised that it had broken and I was feeling normal again.
To this day, I have no idea what it was, but all modern research point to it being a depressive episode.
Since then, and this is now 25 years ago, I've always been very cognisant of this feeling and how I am. Like everybody, I get down on myself from time to time and lose perspective of what I've actually got in front of me. I've had little swings here and there, but if I start getting that feeling again I simply stop what I'm doing and regroup. Generally for me, it's going for a run. I had a really shit last Thursday which also co-incided with (for the UK anyway) cataclysmic rain. So when I got back from London, I decided to go for a run anyway. And by fuck did it turn me around. Only did 35 mins and was soaked to the bone/freezing afterwards but after a hot shower I felt fantastic.
The point of this though is would that have worked back in 1998? I genuinely don't know but if I had to guess I don't think it would. That shit was real, and something different. So although I'm hugely sceptical of a lot of mental health media, I have zero doubt that it really is a real thing & I cannot imagine having to live with it day in / day out. My sister had a bad episode about 15 years ago and I don't think she's ever really recovered from it. At the time, I always though her obesity was the cause of it, but perhaps it's more a circular thing. One is related to the other and it's a hard cycle to bust. She seems much stronger now though although the underlying condition hasn't changed.
One thing I do suffer from badly though is anxiety. It has destroyed many social & work situations for me. I still haven't got the solution to get that under control, but I do refuse to take medication. I've opened up about it with a few buds, and it's surprisingly prevalent. However, I'm the only one that doesn't take Xanax to relieve the symptoms. I spoke to a Dr once about it, and they talked about various therapies / scenarios I should look at before drugs. I guess I've been too stubborn to try it as I don't like putting drugs into my body (never really have). Perhaps I could have had a much happier life / successful career if I had gone down this path. That, I'll never know.
So yeah, bit of a ramble but that's my two cents. Upshot is that I believe mental health issues are very very real things, but far too many people self-prescribe as mental health issues in order to self-explain their own (usually shitty) behaviour.
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@MajorRage I wouldn’t rule out drugs for anxiety completely mate - they can really change your life. Long history of it on my wife’s side, and they definitely work. You could always trial a small controlled dosage and see what happens - unless you’re the addictive type…
On a different mental illness, my best mate from school was (still is I guess) bipolar. Holy shit that’s a scary thing. The lows were like the world is enveloping him and could last weeks and months. The highs were much shorter, but by god were they destructive. Total delusion, quite extraordinary to witness.
Left him with a 10yr gap in his life during his 20’s until they finally found a medication balance that he could / was willing stick to.
He’s now a married dad and in a stable job, when 20 years ago it looked like his life was going to end very prematurely
Scary stuff
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@dogmeat said in Mental Illness.:
Getting old sucks but reading this I am very grateful I grew up in an era when the biggest issue was 'Raleigh 20 envy'.
Chopper envy in The Hutt Valley
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@MajorRage said in Mental Illness.:
I've had battles with mental health over the years, but in hindsight I would say 95% of it has just been the ups and downs of being a person. The 5% of it which wasn't though is very very different.
Had my first bit of depression in 3rd year university. It was pretty scary as I honestly didn't have a clue what to do about it. I was sitting in a lecture and over the course of it I started to feel very down. It was a completely different feeling to being upset / pissed off / blah or "in a bit of a funk" as it's colloquially known. I struggled to see the point of absolutely anything and really felt like shit. The freakiest part though was that I just didn't feel like I was actually me and I was looking down on me. I went to bed at night genuinely scared and worried that I would wake up the next day feeling the same. I went to dinner with my other half, tried to explain it and she didn't get it. On the way home, we stopped at the servo to pick up some completely pointless rags (I think one was called Thats Life) to try and get some perspective. It just didn't work, I couldn't break it. After about 4 days when I was walking home, I realised that it had broken and I was feeling normal again.
To this day, I have no idea what it was, but all modern research point to it being a depressive episode.
Since then, and this is now 25 years ago, I've always been very cognisant of this feeling and how I am. Like everybody, I get down on myself from time to time and lose perspective of what I've actually got in front of me. I've had little swings here and there, but if I start getting that feeling again I simply stop what I'm doing and regroup. Generally for me, it's going for a run. I had a really shit last Thursday which also co-incided with (for the UK anyway) cataclysmic rain. So when I got back from London, I decided to go for a run anyway. And by fuck did it turn me around. Only did 35 mins and was soaked to the bone/freezing afterwards but after a hot shower I felt fantastic.
The point of this though is would that have worked back in 1998? I genuinely don't know but if I had to guess I don't think it would. That shit was real, and something different. So although I'm hugely sceptical of a lot of mental health media, I have zero doubt that it really is a real thing & I cannot imagine having to live with it day in / day out. My sister had a bad episode about 15 years ago and I don't think she's ever really recovered from it. At the time, I always though her obesity was the cause of it, but perhaps it's more a circular thing. One is related to the other and it's a hard cycle to bust. She seems much stronger now though although the underlying condition hasn't changed.
One thing I do suffer from badly though is anxiety. It has destroyed many social & work situations for me. I still haven't got the solution to get that under control, but I do refuse to take medication. I've opened up about it with a few buds, and it's surprisingly prevalent. However, I'm the only one that doesn't take Xanax to relieve the symptoms. I spoke to a Dr once about it, and they talked about various therapies / scenarios I should look at before drugs. I guess I've been too stubborn to try it as I don't like putting drugs into my body (never really have). Perhaps I could have had a much happier life / successful career if I had gone down this path. That, I'll never know.
So yeah, bit of a ramble but that's my two cents. Upshot is that I believe mental health issues are very very real things, but far too many people self-prescribe as mental health issues in order to self-explain their own (usually shitty) behaviour.
So much of it is figuring out your own coping mechanisms. @taniwharugby mentioned the working out, that is massively important for me too and I’m genuinely racked with guilt most summers as I realise whilst I’ve been social for the most part and had a few brews I feel bad as the days go by and I haven’t been down in the garage doing my routine and being careful the waistline doesn’t expand too much with said beers and the inevitable overeating that comes with it, not ideal for T shirt season. Two sessions of calisthenics/bag work so far this week so back into it.
Dr Paul Wood who some on here are aware of suggests doing something tough and even unpleasant every day to build mental toughness and prove you can do it. In my case yesterday that was making a really tough call to a client I had been putting off but afterwards being satisfied I’d done it. The day before it was confronting my son over some bad behaviour and being a “Dad” as opposed to sweeping it under the carpet.
Today’s one is being in Levin in stinking hot weather in a long sleeved shirt and dress pants.
The post above is right though, some will put down any bad behaviour to imaginary conditions that they often won’t even have. Some people are just fluffybunnies.
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This is a topic close to my heart as well, and like others the females in my family have suffered the worst from poor mental health - I think social media plays a huge role in that as it does affect women more than men.
For my wife, without going into any details, she had a hell of a childhood and the trauma (that word gets thrown around way too much these days) from that affects her day to day life and she has to work hard to manage that. I don't know how she does it, she is stronger than I will ever be to overcome what she has and raise 3 amazing boys, effectively breaking that cycle of abuse. She is an exception though, a lot of people that suffered badly as children really have no chance in life which is really sad.
We'd fix a lot of societal issues if the collective we just looked after our kids better. I know English was trying to use big data to identify at risk children, but it's not an easy problem for a government to solve.
I also share others thoughts on how mental health issues are diagnosed, and how quickly doctors & psychiatrists are to prescribe some serious meds based on nothing more than a conversation instead of first trying things like therapy (with a trained psychologist) and exercise to see if that makes a positive difference. Exercise in particular is proven to help so surely that should be a starting point.
I will also add that narcissists on social media self diagnosing themselves with mental illnesses to justify their awful behaviour do absolutely no favours to people that are genuinely suffering through no fault of their own.
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Kudos to Mrs NQ. A good friend of mine had a troubled adolescence/young adult time, partly due to him being something of a fluffybunny, but mainly due to parental issues; an overbearing, entitled mother and a lovely but weak Father.
He turned things around based on a simple mantra which is "First, forgive your parents". Initially I thought this was all about putting in the past things like your parents not buying you a Raleigh Chopper or some such, but grew to realise it was all about no matter what your parents were like, put that behind you and take ownership of your own life and behaviour. In doing so you become free to be the person that you want to be. Obviously this is easier depending upon one's experiences but it made me become more in command of myself and my responsibilities. It sounds as though Mrs NQ has gone a long way down that road too.
Hats off to the girl.
