Bad/Lame Jokes

nzzp

"Knock Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Grandad !"

"Stop the funeral !!"

this shit is seriously funny. Appreciate you monsters.

voodoo

@Nevorian

I went to the zoo yesterday too. I was watching the monkeys wanking. Then I went to see the giraffes and I was still wanking.

I’ve enjoyed sharing many of the lame jokes in this thread with my kids on our family chat over the last few months.

I’m still waiting for their laughing emojis emojis for this one ‍

Nevorian

So I am true to the thread with a real bad/lame joke then?

Bones

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. ️
'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.
The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."

No Quarter

People are shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician.

MN5

Sherlock Holmes asked Dr Watson "is that mud on your shoes?" To which Watson replied.....

“No, shit Sherlock”

Catogrande

I've just downloaded the whole of the Titanic soundtrack.

It's synching right now.

Victor Meldrew

@Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

I've just downloaded the whole of the Titanic soundtrack.

It's synching right now.

Well, that's fucked up my plans to post this from my FB feed....

Windows97

A duck walks into a bar and shouts everyone a round.

"Put it on my bill" he said.

booboo

A dung beetle walks into a bar, asks "is this stool taken?"

Victor Meldrew

Bones

Victor Meldrew

I am a tutor and private teacher of tautology.

MiketheSnow

Bones

Bones

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/Gdap3BzUCy8Qk5X8

Steven Seagull

MiketheSnow

MN5

Victor Meldrew

Victor Meldrew

The Silver Fern

Bad/Lame Jokes