Bad/Lame Jokes

[MiketheSnow]

[taniwharugby]

[MiketheSnow]

@taniwharugby said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Brilliant

[Bones]

My mate rang me last night to tell me he failed his first exam in Aboriginal music.

I said, "Didja redo it?"

[MN5]

Going through a bit of a stressful time.

One of my sons is eating electrical cords. I'm not sure how to punish him.

I guess I'll have to ground him until he conducts himself properly.

[Bones]

Just purchased an original Van Gogh coffee table.

I know it's original because there's a bit of veneer missing.

[Victor Meldrew]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot ?

A carrot.

[Catogrande]

@Victor-Meldrew

What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes.

[Bones]

@Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@Victor-Meldrew

What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes.

Way better if you say tomatoes in Spanish.

[W32]

It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 30 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering!

[taniwharugby]

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?
Where do they go?

Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

[nostrildamus]

@taniwharugby said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?
Where do they go?

I thought they'd just go with the floe.

[Kruse]

Fuck. I never thought I'd post in this channel, but just heard something ...
You guys ever heard of the new corduroy pillows?
Apparently they're making headlines.

Hate myself.

[nostrildamus]

@Kruse said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Fuck. I never thought I'd post in this channel, but just heard something ...
You guys ever heard of the new corduroy pillows?
Apparently they're making headlines.

Hate myself.

Don't worry about the expense of those pillows. They can be recycled into wind instruments.
Recorder-roy.

[Bones]

@Kruse if it's any consolation you're not alone.

[MiketheSnow]

[Victor Meldrew]

I hate elevator music

It's bad on so many levels

[MiketheSnow]

[nostrildamus]

@MiketheSnow said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

No effin whey!!

[MiketheSnow]