Bad/Lame Jokes

[Machpants]

@sparky Not like a cow is even going to notice, yearly a vet has their whole arm up there!

Also "near Christchurch" enough said

[MN5]

Going to prison for having sex with a cow isn’t really going to give him much street cred inside. He might find day to day existence rather tough.

I’ll be monitoring the internet with keen interest on 22nd of this month to see what the sentence is.

[Higgins]

@sparky He does not look Australian to me. Perhaps you only need a small one to do a sheep which might go some way to explaining it!

[scribe]

Q) Why did the sperm cross the road?
A) Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

[scribe]

Monday - Greg
Tuesday - Ian
Wednesday - Greg
Thursday - Ian
Friday - Greg
Saturday - Ian
Sunday - Greg

The Gregorian calendar.

[scribe]

My mate said that because I'm dyslexic, I'd never be any good at Poetry.

I proved him wrong though, so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase ...

[scribe]

You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water.

If it sinks: girl ant

If it floats: boy ant

[scribe]

I was playing Bonopoly last night, its like Monopoly but the streets have no name

[MiketheSnow]

@scribe said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

I was playing Bonopoly last night, its like Monopoly but the streets have no name

That's brilliant and would easily have won the Edinburgh Fringe joke of the festival this year

[nostrildamus]

@sparky said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

He was mooooooooo-ved to tears.

Kieren Williams  /  Aug 31, 2023  /  UK News

Man caught having sex with cow after suspicious farmers set up CCTV sobs in court - The Mirror

Liam Brown, 25, from Bournemouth, snuck onto a farm around six miles from where he lived and committed the horrific act - where he was caught by a farmer who had set up CCTV

Liam Brown? Surprised his name isn't Hugh Heifer.

[nostrildamus]

@scribe said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

I was playing Bonopoly last night, its like Monopoly but the streets have no name

and you still haven't found what you're looking for?

[nostrildamus]

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Going to prison for having sex with a cow isn’t really going to give him much street cred inside. He might find day to day existence rather tough.

Luckily he's bullish about the future.

[dogmeat]

[canefan]

@dogmeat said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Definitely lame

[nostrildamus]

@dogmeat said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

I can't like that.

[MN5]

My wife and I have taken up woodworking.
My mate said he didn't know we were carpenters.
I said, “We've only just begun.”

[MiketheSnow]

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

My wife and I have taken up woodworking.
My mate said he didn't know we were carpenters.
I said, “We've only just begun.”

Love it

[Victor Meldrew]

Erwin Schrodinger walked into a bar.....

.....allegedly

[Victor Meldrew]

[Catogrande]

I bought my wife a Rampant Rabbit for her birthday. I won’t say it’s her favourite vibrator, but it’s up there.