Movie review thread...
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="mariner4life" data-cid="472079" data-time="1424069378">
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<p>fan fiction is fucked up</p>
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<p>It is fucking beyond the weirdest shit most people could come up with. Rule 34 applies.</p>
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<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rule+34'>http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rule+34</a></p> -
Gone Girl: How the fark has this film received such rave reviews? It starts off ok but is far too long and the plot holes are so big you could drive a truck through them. And not just your average truck or semitrailer but one of those big farkoff mining ones. And not just one of them but farking hundreds.
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="NTA" data-cid="472108" data-time="1424086043">
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<p>It is fucking beyond the weirdest shit most people could come up with. Rule 34 applies.</p>
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<p><a data-ipb='nomediaparse' href='http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rule+34'>http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rule+34</a></p>
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<p>I dunno, people have written gay billionaire dino porn. And not shifters, actual dinosaurs fucking men. But they're billionaires of course, which seems to forgive a lot. There is a chick on Amazon who has written stacks of monster porn - bigfoot, gargoyles etc. And readers buy it.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="gollum" data-cid="472106" data-time="1424084125">
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<p>Its more probable someone else is taking care of that side, hence the chilled out attitude to it. Its like if your missus is OK you don't make her come, its not cause she's cool, its cause someone else is. If movies have taught me anything this weekend its that you should immediately tie her up, tweak her nipples & take a masive shit on her. Chicks love that.</p>
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<p>Way to miss the point...... didn't you read my post? I GOT TO PLAY GOLF!</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Mokey" data-cid="472118" data-time="1424111684">
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<p>I dunno, people have written gay billionaire dino porn. And not shifters, actual dinosaurs fucking men. But they're billionaires of course, which seems to forgive a lot. There is<strong> a chick on Amazon who has written stacks of monster porn - bigfoot, gargoyles etc. And readers buy it.</strong></p>
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<p>I clearly lead a sheltered life! </p> -
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<p>Literally fifty shades of grey for a running time of two hours.</p>
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Dammit, another thread with words that trigger the mail Marshall at work!
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<p>Selma (someone needs to get this thread back from the brink of being engulfed by 50 Shades) - decent movie, not great. The story is good, the performances are good, the script is ok, but I don't think it deserves to be in the Oscar race TBH. (It's lack of nominations seems justified by me on this one occasion). About the march between Selma and Montgomery in Alabama in the 60s.</p>
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<p>It's quite funny in that 3 of the main characters - King (David Olewayo), LBJ (Tom Wilkinson), Wallace (Tim Roth) are all played by Poms.</p>
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<p>They missed a trick at the end by not using photos for the end images of the actual people when they used some old film footage and an old song recording.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Nepia" data-cid="472267" data-time="1424209270">
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<p>Selma (someone needs to get this thread back from the brink of being engulfed by 50 Shades) - decent movie, not great. The story is good, the performances are good, the script is ok, but I don't think it deserves to be in the Oscar race TBH. (It's lack of nominations seems justified by me on this one occasion). About the march between Selma and Montgomery in Alabama in the 60s.</p>
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<p>It's quite funny in that 3 of the main characters - King (David Olewayo), LBJ (Tom Wilkinson), Wallace (Tim Roth) are all played by Poms.</p>
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<p><strong>They missed a trick at the end by not using photos for the end images of the actual people when they used some old film footage and an old song recording.</strong></p>
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<p>I made the same comment as I was leaving the movie. Seemed a real waste of time having pictures of the actors in the movie. Besides that, I really enjoyed Selma. I wondered if they left the release too late for awards season.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Toddy" data-cid="472271" data-time="1424212145">
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<p>I made the same comment as I was leaving the movie. Seemed a real waste of time having pictures of the actors in the movie. Besides that, I really enjoyed Selma. I wondered if they left the release too late for awards season.</p>
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<p>They apparently didn't seen screeners out in time.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="taniwharugby" data-cid="472265" data-time="1424208646">
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<p>Dammit, another thread with words that trigger the mail Marshall at work!</p>
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<p>Your Mail Marshall scans for 'Mokey'?</p>
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<p>Obviously correctly identified as a purveyor of smut.</p> -
<p></p><p></p><blockquote class="ipsBlockquote">[b][url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/11416571/Three-women-arrested-after-man-glassed-during-Valentines-Day-screening-of-Fifty-Shades.html]Three women arrested after man glassed during Valentine's Day screening of Fifty Shades[/url][/b]<br><br>
A Valentine's Day cinema screening of Fifty Shades of Grey ended in chaos when three women were arrested for attacking a man.<br><br>
Witnesses claim the bust-up started after the victim asked the "worse for the wear" women to quieten down during a viewing on Saturday evening.<br><br>
Police then rushed to Grosvenor Cinema in Glasgow's west end where they arrested three women.<br><br>
Cinema visitors also claimed the man had been glassed and that staff were forced to wipe blood from seats before the next screening of the film.<br><br>
But police have dismissed suggestions that glass was used in the assault.<br><br>
Investigations are now taking place to determine the exact circumstances, but it is understood no-one suffered serious injuries in the incident.<br><br>
[b]Michael Bolton, 33, from Glasgow, who had gone to see the raunchy flick with his wife, Yvonne, 32, said he saw three women being arrested when he arrived.<br><br>
He said: "Besides being the worst film I have ever seen, three women were getting arrested and put in a police van when we arrived.<br><br>
"A woman came out the theatre and said that a guy had been glassed.<br><br>
"One woman was in handcuffs and another two women were in tears. She said that three or four girls had been very loud and were shouting.<br><br>
"The man had asked them to shut up and he was glassed. It's a cinema where you can buy drink.<br>
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"Only in Glasgow are police called to the cinema. This type of behaviour happens at pubs and nightclubs, but you don't expect that at a cinema.<br><br>
"The guys at the cinema were tidying up the blood before going in. They were wiping down seats before the start of the 8.20pm film.<br><br>
[b]"There were also several incredibly drunk women vomiting in the aisle and corridor and several complaints from the other screen about drunk and rowdy folk."[/b]<br><br>
A local barman, who did not wish to be named, said: "We knew there was an incident but we didn't expect it to be at Fifty Shades of Grey.<br><br>
"We heard that a guy had asked women to quieten down because they were spoiling the film and one of them hit him with a bottle.<br><br>
"A guy who had been in the cinema said it was pretty much unprovoked and the victim was shocked."<br><br>
Another worker on Ashton Lane said the women looked "worse for wear with drink" as she was bundled into the police car.<br><br>
He said: "There were three women being led outside and I'm sure on of them was cuffed.<br><br>
"She looked the worse for wear with drink."<br><br>
A spokeswoman for Grosvenor cinema said: "I can confirm that an incident occurred on Saturday 14 February following an early evening showing of 50 Shades Of Grey.<br><br>
"This was an isolated incident that was dealt with rapidly by cinema staff and stewards, as a result of which, Police Scotland attended and made an arrest.<br><br>
"Despite press reports, nobody was glassed and a wine bottle was not used as a weapon. Those involved did not require hospital attention.<br><br>
"We welcomed nearly 2000 customers over the weekend, including four further showings on Saturday night which passed without incident."<br><br>
Police sources said no glass was used in the assault.<br><br>
A spokesman for Police Scotland said: "At approximately 8pm on Saturday 14 February police responded to reports of a disturbance at the Grosvenor cinema.<br><br>
"Three women have been arrested for alleged disorder offences and inquiries continue to determine the full circumstances surrounding the incident." </blockquote> -
<p>this movie obviously promotes inter-gender violence, and should be banned, </p>
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<p>holy fuck you guys! 50SOG already has a straight to DVD knock-off!! It stars the hottie from Buffy Charisma Carpenter, who is now a total MILF. And from the looks of it, she's nekid, a lot. Awesome.</p>
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<p>Also, Terrell Owens is in it? the fuck?</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Kirwan" data-cid="472273" data-time="1424213018">
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<p>They apparently didn't seen screeners out in time.</p>
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<p>I'm not sure if screeners is <em>really</em> the issue though, enough people saw it for it get nominated as best film, it's just the other nominations it missed out on that cause some to wonder whether race plays/played an issue.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="Mokey" data-cid="471917" data-time="1423983787">
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<p>Oh c'mon. I'm sure it would be just as 'sexy' if the hero wasn't a billionaire.</p>
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<p>On a quiet street in a nondescript neighbourhood...</p>
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<p>Mr G: How's that.</p>
<p>Mrs G: Duct tape is ok, quite pretty this Kermit green. Makes a nice change from vomit yellow. Such good value, the four rolls for 2.99.</p>
<p>Mr G. I bet Bunnings get orders for duct tape, rope and lengths of 6ft timber all the time.</p>
<p>Mrs G: I wish you'd got clamps rather than clothes pegs, these are too pinchy. Wooden ones are better than plastic.</p>
<p>Mr G: Clamps? Do you know how expensive they are? Jesus. And I forgot the pegs. Got these ones off the line.</p>
<p>Mrs G: And where might the washing be?</p>
<p>Mr G. Silence! Think about what you've done! dashes outside to scoop washing off ground, swears as trips over cat dish and rusty scooter, hobbles back inside</p>
<p>Mrs G: Game on?</p>
<p>Mr G: I think I broke my toe. But yes.</p>
<p>sounds of sex and flogging</p>
<p>Mrs G: Oh baby, the the way you handle that Transformers table tennis bat is SO SEXY.</p>
<p>Mr G: You know it.</p>
<p>Mrs G: Can you unattach me from the basketball hoop? Getting cramp.</p>
<p>Mr G: Then it's icecream time. I put a bottle of Bernadino in the fridge too.</p>
<p>Mrs G: Yum. I love date night. Wish we could do it more than once every three months.</p>
<p>Mr G: Shift work sucks.</p>
<p>Mrs G: Yep.</p>
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<p>Mokey, make that your next book and I'm totally buying it.</p>
