Movie review thread...
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@mikethesnow said in Re: Movie review thread...:
The Foreigner
Jackie Chan and Pierce Brosnan4 OAPs out of 5 IRAs
Yeah, enjoyed that. Chan's acting was pretty good too
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Alien has saved it somewhat with Prometheus and Covenant ( I know not everyone agrees with this )
Thought Prometheus was great and set up a great sequel. Sadly that sequel -
Alien Covenant - was crap.I
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I found a movie for you to review, for the good of The Fern!
Fuck. Me.
Fair enough... that looks like a career highlight in the making.
I'd already lined up Monster Hunter, Trigger Point, Willy's Wonderland, and some guy called Zack's fan-flick version of Justice League.
But this looks like a priority.Who is Steven Kang ?
A poor mans Stephen King ?
Well - yeah, I suspect he's a product of the same parent company which sold TVs and shit in China under the brand-name ISONYI (with the I's in a much, much lighter grey than the rest)
True but sometimes knock offs are so good you can’t even tell them from the originals
Fuck, I do love me some knock-offs, and the labelling on them. Living in China a while back, the corner DVD-stores were awesome, the electronics stores were sweet, the mall-stalls selling Rolexes were a bargain, and then you find a proper alleyway market - with child's toys like this. Some - good enough to photograph, although I'd struggle to find the photos I bothered taking - amidst the other constant insanity.
"Door Ladder" - however - has me especially bemused, and amused. -
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I found a movie for you to review, for the good of The Fern!
Fuck. Me.
Fair enough... that looks like a career highlight in the making.
I'd already lined up Monster Hunter, Trigger Point, Willy's Wonderland, and some guy called Zack's fan-flick version of Justice League.
But this looks like a priority.Who is Steven Kang ?
A poor mans Stephen King ?
Well - yeah, I suspect he's a product of the same parent company which sold TVs and shit in China under the brand-name ISONYI (with the I's in a much, much lighter grey than the rest)
True but sometimes knock offs are so good you can’t even tell them from the originals
Fuck, I do love me some knock-offs, and the labelling on them. Living in China a while back, the corner DVD-stores were awesome, the electronics stores were sweet, the mall-stalls selling Rolexes were a bargain, and then you find a proper alleyway market - with child's toys like this. Some - good enough to photograph, although I'd struggle to find the photos I bothered taking - amidst the other constant insanity.
"Door Ladder" - however - has me especially bemused, and amused.I'm guessing Door Ladder = Darth Vader with something lost in the translation.
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@catogrande said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I found a movie for you to review, for the good of The Fern!
Fuck. Me.
Fair enough... that looks like a career highlight in the making.
I'd already lined up Monster Hunter, Trigger Point, Willy's Wonderland, and some guy called Zack's fan-flick version of Justice League.
But this looks like a priority.Who is Steven Kang ?
A poor mans Stephen King ?
Well - yeah, I suspect he's a product of the same parent company which sold TVs and shit in China under the brand-name ISONYI (with the I's in a much, much lighter grey than the rest)
True but sometimes knock offs are so good you can’t even tell them from the originals
Fuck, I do love me some knock-offs, and the labelling on them. Living in China a while back, the corner DVD-stores were awesome, the electronics stores were sweet, the mall-stalls selling Rolexes were a bargain, and then you find a proper alleyway market - with child's toys like this. Some - good enough to photograph, although I'd struggle to find the photos I bothered taking - amidst the other constant insanity.
"Door Ladder" - however - has me especially bemused, and amused.I'm guessing Door Ladder = Darth Vader with something lost in the translation.
Hawking is alive!
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@catogrande said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I found a movie for you to review, for the good of The Fern!
Fuck. Me.
Fair enough... that looks like a career highlight in the making.
I'd already lined up Monster Hunter, Trigger Point, Willy's Wonderland, and some guy called Zack's fan-flick version of Justice League.
But this looks like a priority.Who is Steven Kang ?
A poor mans Stephen King ?
Well - yeah, I suspect he's a product of the same parent company which sold TVs and shit in China under the brand-name ISONYI (with the I's in a much, much lighter grey than the rest)
True but sometimes knock offs are so good you can’t even tell them from the originals
Fuck, I do love me some knock-offs, and the labelling on them. Living in China a while back, the corner DVD-stores were awesome, the electronics stores were sweet, the mall-stalls selling Rolexes were a bargain, and then you find a proper alleyway market - with child's toys like this. Some - good enough to photograph, although I'd struggle to find the photos I bothered taking - amidst the other constant insanity.
"Door Ladder" - however - has me especially bemused, and amused.I'm guessing Door Ladder = Darth Vader with something lost in the translation.
Nice. The closest I could come up with was "When is a Door not a Door... when it's a-Jar...-Jar Binks"
And couldn't find any language where a ladder might become binks -
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@kruse said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I found a movie for you to review, for the good of The Fern!
Fuck. Me.
Fair enough... that looks like a career highlight in the making.
I'd already lined up Monster Hunter, Trigger Point, Willy's Wonderland, and some guy called Zack's fan-flick version of Justice League.
But this looks like a priority.Who is Steven Kang ?
A poor mans Stephen King ?
Well - yeah, I suspect he's a product of the same parent company which sold TVs and shit in China under the brand-name ISONYI (with the I's in a much, much lighter grey than the rest)
True but sometimes knock offs are so good you can’t even tell them from the originals
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This table reading of the never produced Commando II script is absolute gold.
It was written in deliberately over the top style by Steven de Souza of Die Hard, 48 Hrs, Commando, and The Running Man fame.
COMMANDO 2
Hosts STEPHEN SCARLATA (producer "Jodorowsky's Dune") and JOSH MILLER (screenwriter, "Sonic The Hedgehog") talk with writer-director Joe Begos ("VFW", "Bliss") and producer-editor Josh Ethier ("VFW", "Bliss") about the attempted sequel to Arnold Schwarzenegger's 80s action classic COMMANDO. For...
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@taniwharugby said in Re: Movie review thread...:
I found a movie for you to review, for the good of The Fern!
Okay. So, yeah.... Sharks of the Corn.
What. The. Fuck.
As in... I literally said "What the Fuck!?" out loud multiple times during this movie. 4 times out loud, I think, and plenty more internally.
Just... fuck's sake @taniwharugby - you owe me. It's 1 hour 45 minutes, too... not just a 70-minute long piece of shit. A 105 minute long piece of shit.- Tit-watch... yes... tits, in the very first 5 minutes. Chubby tits, but still - tits - with some blatant lingering close up shots of the tits. Big bouncy blood-stained tits, all over the screen.
- Plot... nothing I can really complain about here... no glaring plot-holes, or anything like that. But mostly because I was struggling to figure out the plot for quite some time.
Of course, once I realised it was all based on the classic "Stonehenge - Great White Shark Goddess - Blood Moon" trope - it all clicked into place. - So yeah - "Stonehenge - Great White Sharks - Blood Moon" - but done tastefully, not like previous trashy attempts at this story of the ages
- So many classic quotes to choose from. I think my classic might have been the subtly gasped "Witchcraft!" - total surpise and horror from a guy who'd just experienced sharks in a corn field with zero fucks-given.
"Sharks in the popcorn!" - was another classic. - Another favourite touch... they ended with the classic black screen, and the simple word "Fin" in white.
For about 2 seconds, if that, before going to post-credits using the truly remarkable choice of multi-colour font they'd used for pre-credits. (Pre-credits - nearly made me give up on the movie before it even started... it was brain-addling chaos) - Special effects - as it says on the tin. I don't think Weta did the sharks, or the blood effects.
- A few lovely topical references too, particularly mention of "the Cronin Virus", and an hilarious gag about social-distancing
0.5 shark scarecrows out of 5 Chechemetols.
Highly recommended. -
In America, there's a burglary every 11 seconds, an armed robbery every 65 seconds, a violent crime every 25 seconds, a murder every 24 minutes and 250 rapes a day.
I posted that on an American forum recently, and got a bunch of replies like "fuck you, euro faggot, at least we have guns here".
Really cracked me up!
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@tim said in Re: Movie review thread...:
In America, there's a burglary every 11 seconds, an armed robbery every 65 seconds, a violent crime every 25 seconds, a murder every 24 minutes and 250 rapes a day.
I posted that on an American forum recently, and got a bunch of replies like "fuck you, euro faggot, at least we have guns here".
Really cracked me up!
I would have suggested that those numbers are a bit low by today's standard....
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@kruse You have seriously missed your calling. Wasting your time riding around the country side when you should be writing reviews of movies that we all know are going to be shit, but you sacrifice yourself for the greater good to make sure that we know. I'm far more amused by your reviews than I ever would be by any of the movies (they are shorter too), so I commend you.
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
i was so fucking angry for the first 5 minutes of this video. FUCK YOUR OWN FACE NERD!!!
Firstly, basing anything on something from the Big Bang Theory? fuck off.
Ragging on the greatest movie character, in one of the greatest films of all time? Fuck you!But the actual conclusion is pretty valid and why i think he's awesome.
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@mariner4life said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
i was so fucking angry for the first 5 minutes of this video. FUCK YOUR OWN FACE NERD!!!
Firstly, basing anything on something from the Big Bang Theory? fuck off.
Ragging on the greatest movie character, in one of the greatest films of all time? Fuck you!But the actual conclusion is pretty valid and why i think he's awesome.
It’s one of my favourite movies ever but the points all stand to some extent. The only movie of the four where Indy actually takes out the bad guy heroically is Temple of Doom.
Lots of nerd talk of the fifth one being made, please god no.
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mariner4life said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
i was so fucking angry for the first 5 minutes of this video. FUCK YOUR OWN FACE NERD!!!
Firstly, basing anything on something from the Big Bang Theory? fuck off.
Ragging on the greatest movie character, in one of the greatest films of all time? Fuck you!But the actual conclusion is pretty valid and why i think he's awesome.
It’s one of my favourite movies ever but the points all stand to some extent. The only movie of the four where Indy actually takes out the bad guy heroically is Temple of Doom.
Lots of nerd talk of the fifth one being made, please god no.
they don't stand because it's an adventure movie. fuck off.
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@mariner4life said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mariner4life said in Re: Movie review thread...:
@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
i was so fucking angry for the first 5 minutes of this video. FUCK YOUR OWN FACE NERD!!!
Firstly, basing anything on something from the Big Bang Theory? fuck off.
Ragging on the greatest movie character, in one of the greatest films of all time? Fuck you!But the actual conclusion is pretty valid and why i think he's awesome.
It’s one of my favourite movies ever but the points all stand to some extent. The only movie of the four where Indy actually takes out the bad guy heroically is Temple of Doom.
Lots of nerd talk of the fifth one being made, please god no.
they don't stand because it's an adventure movie. fuck off.
At least he knew to keep his eyes shut
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@mn5 said in Re: Movie review thread...:
Turns out Indy is a bit shit.....can’t help but agree with some of this
Didn’t watch the entire video but totally acknowledge Sheldon’s point. A better example is probably James Bond in Goldfinger. Everything he touches turns to shit in that film. Actually probably the best example is that Rick guy from Walking Dead. A tactical retard with a laundry list of fuck ups. Only WW1 generals sent more people to their deaths than that prick.
Sharks of the Corn (2021) ⭐ 1.9 | Horror
COMMANDO 2
