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  • taniwharugbyT Offline
    taniwharugbyT Offline
    taniwharugby
    replied to A Former User on last edited by
    #508

    @r-l it has helped, and more importantly, closes a door for TR Jnr.

    1 Reply Last reply
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  • SnowyS Offline
    SnowyS Offline
    Snowy
    replied to taniwharugby on last edited by Snowy
    #509

    @taniwharugby We had a similar experience as "victims" when my wife had a drugged up and drunk driver hit her car doing 186 KPH. After wife had ricocheted off concrete median barriers, etc for a while her car looked more like a golf ball than a Golf GTi. Tribute to modern cars that she was fine. His car wasn't so new and his GF wasn't wearing a seatbelt. Had her feet up on the dashboard. Both legs concertina and is an horrific roadside scene. She did survive.

    We then had the whole "victim support" thing. The kid was bought in with his parents, he had to face up to us, the mediator (for want of a better word) in front of his parents. It was awful. The kid knew that he had seriously fucked up and was obviously clean (drugwise) and remorseful. His parents were really nice and apologetic. Made me wonder how the kid had got into the drug mess when his parents seemed so good but maybe I misjudged the situation. The father was a disciplinarian, no doubt. A bit Once were Warriors about it but genuine affection as well.

    I didn't go to the court case, didn't seem much point as he plead guilty, but I did hear what was offered to him, accepted, and seemed to have helped him by the time that we met. We were offered financial recompense for the insurance excess, emotional distress, etc but this kid had been punished enough so I declined it all.

    You just have to hope that they take these second chances I suppose.

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  • Chris B.C Offline
    Chris B.C Offline
    Chris B.
    wrote on last edited by
    #510

    Dyslexia explained - this might be helpful to someone.

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
  • gt12G Offline
    gt12G Offline
    gt12
    wrote on last edited by gt12
    #511

    My boy is starting to be fun to hang out with (he’ll be three next month) and I can't see myself turning down these sorts of opportunities.

    09D29672-045D-42DA-99E0-B7A60852DBD3.jpeg

    SnowyS PaekakboyzP canefanC 3 Replies Last reply
    9
  • SnowyS Offline
    SnowyS Offline
    Snowy
    replied to gt12 on last edited by
    #512

    @gt12 Enjoy it while you can.

    I remember the first time that I beat my father at tennis, golf, chess, snooker, pool, swimming and many more. Probably even monopoly. He wasn't happy on any of those occasions. Both quite competitive. TBF he did teach me all of those things, mostly, so it's his own fault.

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  • PaekakboyzP Offline
    PaekakboyzP Offline
    Paekakboyz
    replied to gt12 on last edited by
    #513

    @gt12 the first time they tell you a passable joke is awesome to! Of course having our standards of humour set to Fern levels makes that a tad easier 🙂

    SnowyS 1 Reply Last reply
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  • SnowyS Offline
    SnowyS Offline
    Snowy
    replied to Paekakboyz on last edited by
    #514

    @paekakboyz said in Parenting:

    standards of humour set to Fern levels makes that a tad easier

    So we actually need to bury the bar if it is set that low.

    PaekakboyzP 1 Reply Last reply
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  • PaekakboyzP Offline
    PaekakboyzP Offline
    Paekakboyz
    replied to Snowy on last edited by
    #515

    @snowy Schrodinger's bar!

    1 Reply Last reply
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  • canefanC Offline
    canefanC Offline
    canefan
    replied to gt12 on last edited by
    #516

    @gt12 said in Parenting:

    My boy is starting to be fun to hang out with (he’ll be three next month) and I can't see myself turning down these sorts of opportunities.

    09D29672-045D-42DA-99E0-B7A60852DBD3.jpeg

    Enjoy it while you can mate......

    CF Jr used to have a charming personality. But at age 11 he is moody, more often than not negative about most things (school, trying new things) which is accentuated by the fact that Ms CF Jr has a lovely personality (for now). His latest mood swings have resulted in a long term device ban (he was only allowed device time on the weekends and now even this is gone) and his inability to to amuse himself means he is more often than not a pain in the ass.

    Talking to other parents, school blues are not uncommon, especially in the middle of the year. But fuck me, the kid has little to be down about, and frankly it has gotten old. Might have to send the little so and so to boarding school asap to sort him out

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  • antipodeanA Offline
    antipodeanA Offline
    antipodean
    wrote on last edited by antipodean
    #517

    alt text

    1 Reply Last reply
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  • boobooB Offline
    boobooB Offline
    booboo
    wrote on last edited by booboo
    #518

    So. Vaping...

    What is your understanding thereof?

    Ms Boo Jr (18 in two weeks) has come clean over the weekend that she had been indulging in said activity.

    Have had my suspicions over the last couple of months (won't go into that unless you ask) and was able to give it the "what? We're not dumb" response. (Ha! Take that)

    Last week we get newsletter from Head of Sec School (HOSS) giving us out of touch olds a heads up that vaping is out and out endemic.

    Confront MBJ and say regardless of whether you are or aren't for God's sake you've got 3 months before you finish school don't fuck up your ATAR (Australian Tertiary Admission Rank - how you get into Uni) by getting kicked out. Denies denies denies.

    But over the weekend comes clean and admits she's been vaping following the lead of her two best buddies.

    So, really pissed off at our previously (and pretty much still) Miss Goodie Two Shoes.

    But this vaping lark is apparently all sorts of bad.

    Was meant to be this harmless alternative to smoking but apparently it fries your brain.

    Her academic performance has been down, and we suspect this is a contributory factor.

    So Mrs Boo and I went and saw said HOSS (in confidence), who is MBJ's favouritest ever teacher, so that is good. And got a real heads up on the problem.

    Being massively targeted towards kids. Things like Bubblegum flavour. Big problem across all schools ATM. Some big schools have kicked some high achievers out because they drew a line.

    Funny because both Mrs Boo and HOSS are ex smokers who took the piss back in the day. But apparently this vaping can be worse than smoking.

    Mrs Boo really upset, and quite suspicious of MBJ now. Any unaccounted time becomes "what's she doing?".

    Worries about gateways to other substances.

    Anyways. Any comments or tips appreciated, but this is just a bit of a rant/off load.

    canefanC 1 Reply Last reply
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  • canefanC Offline
    canefanC Offline
    canefan
    replied to booboo on last edited by
    #519

    @booboo I heard its not good

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
  • MajorRageM Offline
    MajorRageM Offline
    MajorRage
    wrote on last edited by
    #520

    Fern Helpline, first time caller.

    My 7 year old daughter has completely lost the plot about going to school. Completely. She’s just moved up a level (pre prep to prep) and after a superb first week it’s suddenly all on.

    Colossal tantrums, tears all because of a “sore belly”. We drive to school, son gets out then it’s 30 mins in the car of refusal, tears - “it’s too hard”, “I’m always tired”, “I miss mummy too much” etc etc. Takes ages to calm here, she misses the first lesson then once in - she’s fine.

    We ask the teachers who say she’s happy, gets on with it, isn’t struggling and is fine (she’s a bit of a boffin). She just talks herself into it. It starts the night before when she gets tired. We see the anxiety go up and then in the mornings … it’s all on.

    She had a tough, long summer (school closed early due to Covid case, no overseas holidays (first world …) and the bullying as on other chat). I’m sure these are related. But after a great first week, it’s literally come out of nowhere.

    So, anybody faced this before? Any tips, hints, ideas?

    Literally, once she’s in, she’s off. And at pickup she’s always got a huge smile. We are completely lost.

    ? taniwharugbyT voodooV boobooB M 5 Replies Last reply
    3
  • ? Offline
    ? Offline
    A Former User
    replied to MajorRage on last edited by A Former User
    #521

    @majorrage
    It might sound harsh but if you are satisfied that she is in fact happy when she is there and nothing is going on like bullying etc, it probably is a case of tiredness and maybe even hormones and maybe the best thing you can do is not pay it too much attention. I had a week of it after the last homes schooling when they returned and I knew it was just settling back into a routine and being away from me and I had to be tough and let the teacher take her in crying. Soon stopped. The more attention I gave it and trying to talk about it the worse it got. Sleep is so important to kids and things like having a calm breakfast time no TV etc really makes a difference to our mornings.

    Also, re sleeptime, I have an app called moshi that has relaxation stories I play onto a wireless speaker in her room, seriously good and suitable for primary aged children, it's very focused on mindfulness and easing anxiety etc might help. Sends my little one off to sleep.

    They do break your heart though. She's your daughter and you know her best. And they are more resilient than we give them credit for sometimes so a bit of tough love might shake her out of it, that won't change her relationship with you, she will still talk to you if there's a problem I'm very sure of that.

    Also, others may know as I can't recall exactly and too tired to Google but I'm sure there is a psychological milestone around the age of 7, something to do with the subconscious mind?? Maybe she's just experimenting with challenging you a bit? Rebelling or wanting attention.

    As with most things with children I suspect in a week or two you will say she is fine and over it.

    Hope she is OK though and it gets easier for you all.

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  • taniwharugbyT Offline
    taniwharugbyT Offline
    taniwharugby
    replied to MajorRage on last edited by
    #522

    @majorrage I think you cant underestimate the bullying aspect, alot of that mirrors my son after he was bullied 1st year at Intermediate.

    N 1 Reply Last reply
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  • voodooV Offline
    voodooV Offline
    voodoo
    replied to MajorRage on last edited by
    #523

    @majorrage said in Parenting:

    Fern Helpline, first time caller.

    My 7 year old daughter has completely lost the plot about going to school. Completely. She’s just moved up a level (pre prep to prep) and after a superb first week it’s suddenly all on.

    Colossal tantrums, tears all because of a “sore belly”. We drive to school, son gets out then it’s 30 mins in the car of refusal, tears - “it’s too hard”, “I’m always tired”, “I miss mummy too much” etc etc. Takes ages to calm here, she misses the first lesson then once in - she’s fine.

    We ask the teachers who say she’s happy, gets on with it, isn’t struggling and is fine (she’s a bit of a boffin). She just talks herself into it. It starts the night before when she gets tired. We see the anxiety go up and then in the mornings … it’s all on.

    She had a tough, long summer (school closed early due to Covid case, no overseas holidays (first world …) and the bullying as on other chat). I’m sure these are related. But after a great first week, it’s literally come out of nowhere.

    So, anybody faced this before? Any tips, hints, ideas?

    Literally, once she’s in, she’s off. And at pickup she’s always got a huge smile. We are completely lost.

    We had exactly this last year with the lad who was 7 at the time. Every morning, would cry at drop off for 20mins, had to be led in crying by his saint of a teacher. Lasted a month at least, pretty tough to watch. Eventually he got over it, and we never really got to the bottom of it, he just used to work himself into a state for no apparent reason. Like your lass, the anxiety started the night before sometimes. So draining.

    Does she have a mate in class? Any way you can coordinate drop-off together with her?

    1 Reply Last reply
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  • canefanC Offline
    canefanC Offline
    canefan
    wrote on last edited by canefan
    #524

    CF Jr went through a phase like this around 10. Anxiety around new school and a more competitive environment appeared to be the triggers for him. There will always be a reason, whether you will find out is another story. We found it was good to contact the teacher to discuss, the school were good at organising one on one meetings with him to draw out the source of his acting up, he told them stuff he wouldn't tell us which helped manage the situation

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  • boobooB Offline
    boobooB Offline
    booboo
    replied to MajorRage on last edited by
    #525

    @majorrage my first thought was kids picking on her at school, but you've dispelled that one, so I got nothing

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
  • M Offline
    M Offline
    Machpants
    replied to MajorRage on last edited by
    #526

    @majorrage said in Parenting:

    Literally, once she’s in, she’s off. And at pickup she’s always got a huge smile. We are completely lost

    Working at a school that is so common, same at kindy etc. Very common. Best way is the bandaid method, rip it of fast. Talk to the school, our teachers often meet these kids at the gate at a certain time, and almost drag them in. Soon as mum's out of sight, finished, pretty much. The longer the parent stays, talking, convincing, whatever, the more wound up the kids gets. You can't logic or convince a little kid to ignore a bit of separation anxiety. But they will get over it.

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  • PaekakboyzP Offline
    PaekakboyzP Offline
    Paekakboyz
    wrote on last edited by
    #527

    Oh no, so they don't grow out of this after 4 and 3/4s!!? Just going through this now with our daughter - right down to the sore tummy and winding herself up the night before. She just wants to get to school asap. But I know she settles almost immediately. Still bloody traumatic for us though! Kia kaha @MajorRage

    M 1 Reply Last reply
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