Movie review thread...
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@Bones said in Movie review thread...:
Hey @Kruse
Once again... fuck you @Bones.
Force of Nature
I'm too tired to really give this a proper go, but...- Hire a shitty anonymous stucco apartment building for a couple-days
- Throw Mel Gibson a few lines of coke
- Pour some water around occasionally, to suggest there's a "Force-fucking-5" hurricane outside
- And... this is key... do NOT show any titties. That's right... tit-watch: zero
... you get Force of Nature
Movie was summed up for me in the very first scene, which is a clever "actually, this happens later in the movie, but we'll set the scene for you with a flash-forward"... (very clever... I can't believe this isn't done more often by hacks, no... wait... )... has Mel Gibson with a pistol, agonising over how to make a precision shot on two guys fighting (how do I shoot the bad guy when he's so close to the good guy, when I've only got this shitty pistol!?). While a bint behind him is holding a scoped rifle.
Throw in some semi-nonsensical main plot, some majorly-nonsensical attempts at late-plot "twists", an overly telegraphed "gag-death" which turns out to actually be the ultimate death/climax - and... you get an underwhelming stew of... fuck you Bones.
BTW - What is it with these shit movies and their attempts at one-liners? I can understand shitty effects. I can understand shitty acting. I can kinda understand shitty plot/general-dialogue. But... for somebody to WRITE some ultra-shitty "gag", then somebody to actually SAY that same ultra-shitty "gag", and THEN... for somebody editing the movie to not delete that ultra-shitty "gag"... genuinely confuses me. It just reeks of "ahhh... fuck it. leave it in, I can't be arsed trying for anything better."Fuck you Bones.
1 mish-mash-of-a-bad-guy out of 5 mish-mashes-of-good-guys.
Did I mention tit-watch was zero? Which was a shame, as the chick-cop looked to have potential, despite doing her best(/worst) cutesy-wutesy Tina-Fey type impression.
(Google confirms - Stephanie Cayo, Peruviana - can be hot-as-fuck when permitted to be) -
@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
@Bones said in Movie review thread...:
Hey @Kruse
Once again... fuck you @Bones.
Force of Nature
I'm too tired to really give this a proper go, but...- Hire a shitty anonymous stucco apartment building for a couple-days
- Throw Mel Gibson a few lines of coke
- Pour some water around occasionally, to suggest there's a "Force-fucking-5" hurricane outside
- And... this is key... do NOT show any titties. That's right... tit-watch: zero
... you get Force of Nature
Movie was summed up for me in the very first scene, which is a clever "actually, this happens later in the movie, but we'll set the scene for you with a flash-forward"... (very clever... I can't believe this isn't done more often by hacks, no... wait... )... has Mel Gibson with a pistol, agonising over how to make a precision shot on two guys fighting (how do I shoot the bad guy when he's so close to the good guy, when I've only got this shitty pistol!?). While a bint behind him is holding a scoped rifle.
Throw in some semi-nonsensical main plot, some majorly-nonsensical attempts at late-plot "twists", an overly telegraphed "gag-death" which turns out to actually be the ultimate death/climax - and... you get an underwhelming stew of... fuck you Bones.
BTW - What is it with these shit movies and their attempts at one-liners? I can understand shitty effects. I can understand shitty acting. I can kinda understand shitty plot/general-dialogue. But... for somebody to WRITE some ultra-shitty "gag", then somebody to actually SAY that same ultra-shitty "gag", and THEN... for somebody editing the movie to not delete that ultra-shitty "gag"... genuinely confuses me. It just reeks of "ahhh... fuck it. leave it in, I can't be arsed trying for anything better."Fuck you Bones.
1 mish-mash-of-a-bad-guy out of 5 mish-mashes-of-good-guys.
Did I mention tit-watch was zero? Which was a shame, as the chick-cop looked to have potential, despite doing her best(/worst) cutesy-wutesy Tina-Fey type impression.
(Google confirms - Stephanie Cayo, Peruviana - can be hot-as-fuck when permitted to be)ahhh....YOU ARE WELCOME
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King Richard
What an amazing story, even more miraculous because its true. Acting was good, but the story itself was the star. The film did a decent job trying to relay the dangerous life they had in Compton, showcased the strength of the family unit and the tennis was plausible. I didn't realise that the Williams pioneered the open stance groundstroke, but it was implied they were at the forefront, an excellent film on many levels. 5 flabbergasted coaches out of 5 GOATs
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@canefan said in Movie review thread...:
King Richard
What an amazing story, even more miraculous because its true. Acting was good, but the story itself was the star. The film did a decent job trying to relay the dangerous life they had in Compton, showcased the strength of the family unit and the tennis was plausible. I didn't realise that the Williams pioneered the open stance groundstroke, but it was implied they were at the forefront, an excellent film on many levels. 5 flabbergasted coaches out of 5 GOATs
This review sounds way over the top.
Are you afraid you’ll get a slap if you give it a lower mark ?
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@MN5 said in Movie review thread...:
@canefan said in Movie review thread...:
King Richard
What an amazing story, even more miraculous because its true. Acting was good, but the story itself was the star. The film did a decent job trying to relay the dangerous life they had in Compton, showcased the strength of the family unit and the tennis was plausible. I didn't realise that the Williams pioneered the open stance groundstroke, but it was implied they were at the forefront, an excellent film on many levels. 5 flabbergasted coaches out of 5 GOATs
This review sounds way over the top.
Are you afraid you’ll get a slap if you give it a lower mark ?
Okay maybe a 4.5? Probably speaks more to their story than the brilliance of the film
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@canefan said in Movie review thread...:
@MN5 said in Movie review thread...:
@canefan said in Movie review thread...:
King Richard
What an amazing story, even more miraculous because its true. Acting was good, but the story itself was the star. The film did a decent job trying to relay the dangerous life they had in Compton, showcased the strength of the family unit and the tennis was plausible. I didn't realise that the Williams pioneered the open stance groundstroke, but it was implied they were at the forefront, an excellent film on many levels. 5 flabbergasted coaches out of 5 GOATs
This review sounds way over the top.
Are you afraid you’ll get a slap if you give it a lower mark ?
Okay maybe a 4.5? Probably speaks more to their story than the brilliance of the film
Your review will do. No desire to see it and Will Smiths dickheadness is enough to confirm my view.
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@MN5 said in Movie review thread...:
@canefan said in Movie review thread...:
@MN5 said in Movie review thread...:
@canefan said in Movie review thread...:
King Richard
What an amazing story, even more miraculous because its true. Acting was good, but the story itself was the star. The film did a decent job trying to relay the dangerous life they had in Compton, showcased the strength of the family unit and the tennis was plausible. I didn't realise that the Williams pioneered the open stance groundstroke, but it was implied they were at the forefront, an excellent film on many levels. 5 flabbergasted coaches out of 5 GOATs
This review sounds way over the top.
Are you afraid you’ll get a slap if you give it a lower mark ?
Okay maybe a 4.5? Probably speaks more to their story than the brilliance of the film
Your review will do. No desire to see it and Will Smiths dickheadness is enough to confirm my view.
Read a book about it. One of the great sports stories of my lifetime
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@canefan said in Movie review thread...:
@MN5 said in Movie review thread...:
@canefan said in Movie review thread...:
@MN5 said in Movie review thread...:
@canefan said in Movie review thread...:
King Richard
What an amazing story, even more miraculous because its true. Acting was good, but the story itself was the star. The film did a decent job trying to relay the dangerous life they had in Compton, showcased the strength of the family unit and the tennis was plausible. I didn't realise that the Williams pioneered the open stance groundstroke, but it was implied they were at the forefront, an excellent film on many levels. 5 flabbergasted coaches out of 5 GOATs
This review sounds way over the top.
Are you afraid you’ll get a slap if you give it a lower mark ?
Okay maybe a 4.5? Probably speaks more to their story than the brilliance of the film
Your review will do. No desire to see it and Will Smiths dickheadness is enough to confirm my view.
Read a book about it. One of the great sports stories of my lifetime
I only bother with Rugby, Cricket and boxing books.
Tempted to flag the first one.
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@MN5 said in Movie review thread...:
@canefan said in Movie review thread...:
@MN5 said in Movie review thread...:
@canefan said in Movie review thread...:
@MN5 said in Movie review thread...:
@canefan said in Movie review thread...:
King Richard
What an amazing story, even more miraculous because its true. Acting was good, but the story itself was the star. The film did a decent job trying to relay the dangerous life they had in Compton, showcased the strength of the family unit and the tennis was plausible. I didn't realise that the Williams pioneered the open stance groundstroke, but it was implied they were at the forefront, an excellent film on many levels. 5 flabbergasted coaches out of 5 GOATs
This review sounds way over the top.
Are you afraid you’ll get a slap if you give it a lower mark ?
Okay maybe a 4.5? Probably speaks more to their story than the brilliance of the film
Your review will do. No desire to see it and Will Smiths dickheadness is enough to confirm my view.
Read a book about it. One of the great sports stories of my lifetime
I only bother with Rugby, Cricket and boxing books.
Tempted to flag the first one.
If you want a great tennis book. The Andre Agassi biography is brilliant
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Top Gun: Maverick.
Second viewing today.
I have never ever gone back to the cinema to re watch a movie.
But Junior wanted to watch this.
And by fuck I'm glad I did.
What am awesome movie.
Yeah, it's implausible as fuck. ##spoiler
I mean stealing a 40yo F14 and taking off on a taxiway with a fuel tank within the OLS (showing off coz I know what that means
)
##endspoiler but it was fun.Park ##spoiler
the chick who wasn't particularly likeable and the Star Wars ... the real original and only Star Wars ... story of flying up the valley to hit the ventilation chamber ...
##endspoiler but as someone pointed out to me that everything you wanted in a sequel was there.Junior loved it. Gave it 4 ##spoiler
touching Iceman moments and gratuitous explosions
##endspoiler out of 5 ##spoiler
beach football scenes not to mention loud bangs and multiple G forces.
##endspoilerMe. Second time around 4.5 from 5.
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Black Phone
A thriller about a boy that is abducted and kept in the cellar of the house.
When he is there, the disconnected phone rings and in the other end is the boy that had been abducted a few months earlier.
3 Ethan Hawke was in this Movie?? out of 5 tortured souls
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@taniwharugby said in Movie review thread...:
Black Phone
A thriller about a boy that is abducted and kept in the cellar of the house.
When he is there, the disconnected phone rings and in the other end is the boy that had been abducted a few months earlier.
3 Ethan Hawke was in this Movie?? out of 5 tortured souls
4 for me
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@Kruse said in Movie review thread...:
The Contractor
This was bad.
But I can't really say WHY it was bad.
Just... really weird 'pacing', if that's a thing?
Or maybe I'm just a bigot, and all the bothering of god early on in the piece put me off. God-botherers and uber-patriotic seppos.... ugh.
Anyway... the latest Captain Kirk... Chris something? Pine? As an Army Ranger. Who gets laid off, coz he's popping drugs for his fucked up knee. But he's broke. And wants to fix his roof. Gets recruited by his mate into a supposedly legit semi-private military contracting firm. It's run by a Sutherland. Guess what... spoiler... it's maybe not so legit. An op in Berlin goes sideways. Shit happens. More shit happens. The stiltedness of this review matches the movie. He comes back to the US. Expected Twist! Maybe undo that twist! Let's go after Sutherland! Very subdued showdown. The end.- Flashbacks... I'm getting pretty fucked off with flashbacks. Once again, this bad movie was padded out with bad flashbacks. Of a 10 year old getting a tattoo. Boo fucking hoo.
- TItwatch: zero. Which is probably for the best, the only female character was played by Gillian Jacobs, and as far as I'm aware, her personal Titwatch is zero.
1 over-the-top fully spec-ops kitted out op to take out 1 scientist, out of 5 under-kitted-out forays into the world by a man who believes he's being hunted by spec-ops teams.
And for those concerned about my well-being with this latest flurry of absolute shit movies... to be fair, I have interspersed then with some less-shit (Moonfall, Uncharted, Matrix: 4, etc), and a re-watch of guilty-pleasure Nobody.
But mostly - I've had a carrot dangling at the end of all this... I am looking forward very much to Everything Everywhere All At Once - I've got it downloaded, but now see it's still playing at the local cinema this weekend - so might indulge in that.I watched this half remembering your review of it but unaware of where I'd actually read it.
Anyway, at the very least it wasn't as bad as what you made out, definitely not a one star film, 2 1/2 maybe. It was very familiar though and the actors playing each character played into that.
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@Bones said in Movie review thread...:
@Nepia oh hi
That's not even close to making my watch list - needs the young Kate Bosworth from the surfing movie she made for me to chance that.
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Ad Astra
It’s got Brad ( plus the usually good Tommy Lee Jones and Donald Sutherland ) and it’s a sci fi flick. Should be awesome right ?
Nothing coulda been further from the truth.
Seemed SO long, pointless and above all VERY fucken boring. Brad tried hard with what he had, they threw in a couple of action scenes to try and liven it up and the space shots were beautiful…..but no where near enough
1.5 Aliens without the Aliens out of 5 long weeks in space
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Thor: Love and Thunder
A lot of shit reviews out there for this one. However I really enjoyed it. A great mix of comedy and action. Also reminded me of Stranger Things in the fact that both have a bit of a tribute to some rock music mixed with action. In this case I feel like it was a GNR tribute and not in a negative way.It is what you expect from Taika in my mind based on his previous Thor movie. Some great cameos throughout which were quite funny too. My wife said a point should be missing for the lack of an r rated option, however we both enjoyed what was a fun action flick
4 marvel gods out of 5 missing eggplant emojis
Force of Nature (2020) ⭐ 4.6 | Action, Adventure, Crime
