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Cheers gents. To digress for a moment...
The kids and I had the same philosophy: the "Nonna" we knew departed years ago, effectively. What was left was just a shell of a person. Dementia fucking sucks, and it has been a long and often painful ride.
Mrs TA is of course, shattered. Despite living and breathing this for the last 5 years, and knowing the only outcome, it still hit hard. She was in the room when it happened, having spent several hours a day in the last week up there. That in itself - seeing another human die, especially your Mum - is going to fuck with you.
It'll be a slow climb out from here, but at least there is some kind of closure.
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
Cheers gents. To digress for a moment...
The kids and I had the same philosophy: the "Nonna" we knew departed years ago, effectively. What was left was just a shell of a person. Dementia fucking sucks, and it has been a long and often painful ride.
Mrs TA is of course, shattered. Despite living and breathing this for the last 5 years, and knowing the only outcome, it still hit hard. She was in the room when it happened, having spent several hours a day in the last week up there. That in itself - seeing another human die, especially your Mum - is going to fuck with you.
It'll be a slow climb out from here, but at least there is some kind of closure.
Sorry to hear mate. Hope the whanau is doing ok.
On the being in the room thing, while def a weird experience, I’d say that in time she’ll probably come to realise that she wouldn’t have had it any other way.
I missed my mum passing recently by about 2 hours which was a bit gutting at the time. She wasn’t speaking and you can never know how aware they are in that moment, but I’d still have liked to have been there. Looking back now with 6 weeks of hindsight though, I guess I’m more glad that we got some quality time a few weeks prior.
Def a strange thing to go through with the kids. First big loss for mine, so was interesting to watch how they process it. Sounds like both yours and mine had a long time to prepare for it, still hits them a bit when it actually happens though eh?
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@NTA sorry to hear my friend. Hope you and the lovely family I shared a couple of drinks with a few years back are doing ok. Please pass my condolences onto them too.
I was in the room when my Grandfather passed back in 2001. Not easy but part of me thinks that is how he would have wanted it.
It absolutely sux that life has to turn out like this for us all eventually.
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
Cheers gents. To digress for a moment...
The kids and I had the same philosophy: the "Nonna" we knew departed years ago, effectively. What was left was just a shell of a person. Dementia fucking sucks, and it has been a long and often painful ride.
Mrs TA is of course, shattered. Despite living and breathing this for the last 5 years, and knowing the only outcome, it still hit hard. She was in the room when it happened, having spent several hours a day in the last week up there. That in itself - seeing another human die, especially your Mum - is going to fuck with you.
It'll be a slow climb out from here, but at least there is some kind of closure.
condolences mate
sounds like a very similar situation to what we went through with my grandmother earlier in the year, dementia punishes everyone, hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel
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@NTA said in Happiness Scale:
Cheers gents. To digress for a moment...
The kids and I had the same philosophy: the "Nonna" we knew departed years ago, effectively. What was left was just a shell of a person. Dementia fucking sucks, and it has been a long and often painful ride.
Mrs TA is of course, shattered. Despite living and breathing this for the last 5 years, and knowing the only outcome, it still hit hard. She was in the room when it happened, having spent several hours a day in the last week up there. That in itself - seeing another human die, especially your Mum - is going to fuck with you.
It'll be a slow climb out from here, but at least there is some kind of closure.
We have this to come, we think, in the next few months.
Dementia is horrible, horrible & Mrs M's mum is in the final stages, made worse by the flashes of the mother she knew peeking thru. Though part of her just hopes her mother will peacefully pass away and is more than reconciled to it, we both know it's going to hit her hard.
Your words are wise and spot on.
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Sad situation all round.
But then again I wouldn’t want it like my mates Dad some years back ( died suddenly in his 60s when he had an incident during the swimming part of a triathlon )
No drain on the family as such, just gone like that.
Is that better though ? Even if it happened later on ( 60s is way too young )
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Phone call at work today. Mrs TA's Dad found deceased at his home.
He
liveslived in housing commission about half an hour away from us and because of his history of alcoholism wasn't exactly a regular part of our lives in later years. Looks like he had a cardiac episode in the bathroom and collapsed in a heap. Mrs TA insisted on going in there to see him, and I wasn't going to let her do that by herself. Not a pretty scene.
Both her parents gone in the space of 10 weeks. Her older brother is supposed to be his primary care contact but is in Adelaide for work right now - the older brother's second born has their birthday today.
What a day. What a week!
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@NTA jesus, for whatever its worth coming from some rando on the internet....condolences mate, that is truly horrible, i hope you and Mrs TA will be ok
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@Kiwiwomble thanks. The last few months have been, as they say in the classics, "a right fluffybunny".
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Thoughts are with you
Happiness Scale
