Bad/Lame Jokes

[Catogrande]

I’ve just heard that the singer Enya has bought an English Premiership rugby team. The first three fixtures are:

Sale (A)
Sale (A)
Sale (A)

[MN5]

@Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

I’ve just heard that the singer Enya has bought an English Premiership rugby team. The first three fixtures are:

Sale (A)
Sale (A)
Sale (A)

I might have smirked a bit if you’d shared this one in the late 90s

[Catogrande]

@MN5

it's doubtful that you would have grasped it back then, so I've been saving it.

[MN5]

@Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@MN5

it's doubtful that you would have grasped it back then, so I've been saving it.

Incorrect. Music is all I know

[Billy Tell]

A joke walks into a bar limping. That’s my lame joke for the day.

[Catogrande]

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@MN5

it's doubtful that you would have grasped it back then, so I've been saving it.

Incorrect. Music is all I know

Yeah and this is about rugby.

[Victor Meldrew]

A duck walks into a bar in London, sits down on a stool and asks for a pint. Barman is amazed at the talking duck and asks duck what he's doing in a pub drinking a pint

Duck tells barman:"I'm working on a block of flats across the road"

Barman tells him he could make a fortune as a talking duck and should let him introduce him to his brother who works at the BBC down the road

Duck replies: "Why? Are they short of carpenters?"

[Dodge]

A duck walks into a pub in the East End of London, walks up to the bruiser of a barman 'got any crackers?'
the barman looks confused, 'no we don't sell crackers' and the duck leaves.

The next day, the duck walks back into the pub, up to the bar 'got any crackers?'
the barman, disgruntled replies 'i told you yesterday, we don't sell crackers' and the duck leaves

the following day, the duck walks into the pub, up to the bar, 'got any crackers'
by now, the barman is pissed off, 'i've told you twice, we don't sell crackers, if you ask me that one more time i'm going to nail your fucking beak to this bar' - the duck leaves

the following day, the duck walks into the pub, up to the bar, 'hello mate, got any nails?'
the barman's face creases in confusion, 'no, no nails'

'good, got any crackers?'

[Victor Meldrew]

[Victor Meldrew]

[Catogrande]

What is blue and not very heavy?

Light blue.

[Nevorian]

[Victor Meldrew]

Q. Why do ducks never grow up?

A. Because they grow down.

[scribe]

And continuing the avian theme …

Falconry - Just a posh word for hawk/kestrel manoeuvres in the park.

[booboo]

@scribe said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

And continuing the avian theme …

Falconry - Just a posh word for hawk/kestrel manoeuvres in the park.

If you leave, just leave now, please just take your coat away.

[scribe]

I used to go out with a girl called Lindsey Doyle. She smelt like a cricket bat.

[scribe]

@scribe said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

I used to go out with a girl called Lindsey Doyle. She smelt like a cricket bat.

She had a wide-ish gully. I think I was the 3rd man.

[Catogrande]

@scribe boom, tish, X2!

[Victor Meldrew]

Someone took the wind from my sails.

I'm disgusted.

[Victor Meldrew]