Bad/Lame Jokes

Nevorian

Victor Meldrew

Q. Why do ducks never grow up?

A. Because they grow down.

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And continuing the avian theme …

Falconry - Just a posh word for hawk/kestrel manoeuvres in the park.

booboo

And continuing the avian theme …

Falconry - Just a posh word for hawk/kestrel manoeuvres in the park.

If you leave, just leave now, please just take your coat away.

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I used to go out with a girl called Lindsey Doyle. She smelt like a cricket bat.

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I used to go out with a girl called Lindsey Doyle. She smelt like a cricket bat.

She had a wide-ish gully. I think I was the 3rd man.

Catogrande

@scribe boom, tish, X2!

Victor Meldrew

Someone took the wind from my sails.

I'm disgusted.

Victor Meldrew

Bones

Q. Why do ducks never grow up?

A. Because they grow down.

Bones

Victor Meldrew

MiketheSnow

Victor Meldrew

"Knock Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Grandad !"

"Stop the funeral !!"

Bones

@Victor-Meldrew gotta be Tim Vine.

Victor Meldrew

Barry Cryer, I think.

Nevorian

Went to the zoo the other day and in one cage all they had sitting in the middle was a sliced loaf of Vogels multigrain.

Turns out it was bread in captivity.

Catogrande

I went to the zoo yesterday too. I was watching the monkeys wanking. Then I went to see the giraffes and I was still wanking.

nzzp

"Knock Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Grandad !"

"Stop the funeral !!"

this shit is seriously funny. Appreciate you monsters.

voodoo

@Nevorian

I went to the zoo yesterday too. I was watching the monkeys wanking. Then I went to see the giraffes and I was still wanking.

I’ve enjoyed sharing many of the lame jokes in this thread with my kids on our family chat over the last few months.

I’m still waiting for their laughing emojis emojis for this one ‍

The Silver Fern