Bad/Lame Jokes

[MN5]

I saw a boat today with a sign that said, "For Sale", so I added an "ing"…….idiots, lucky I was walking past.

[Victor Meldrew]

[Victor Meldrew]

[Catogrande]

The term "fuck off" is actually a palindrome.

if you say it in a an Irish accent.

[Victor Meldrew]

@Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

The term "fuck off" is actually a palindrome.

if you say it in a an Irish accent.

Depends on which way you look at it, I guess

[MiketheSnow]

A bloke tried to sell me an antique conker today, but I wasn't falling for that old chestnut!

[nostrildamus]

My wife asked me if I was having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch.

I said: “How can you say such a thing?”

[Bones]

I've just finished reading a book called "how to clear leaves from your driveway"

By Ray King.

[MN5]

@nostrildamus said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

My wife asked me if I was having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch.

I said: “How can you say such a thing?”

Is that where @MiketheSnow lives ?

[MiketheSnow]

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

@nostrildamus said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

My wife asked me if I was having an affair with a woman from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogogoch.

I said: “How can you say such a thing?”

Is that where @MiketheSnow lives ?

The Polish part of town

[nostrildamus]

@MN5 said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Is that where @MiketheSnow lives ?

I cannot say.

Literally.

[MN5]

I have an addiction to chocolate and nuts.

I think I'll get through it but I'm in for a bit of a Rocky Road.

[Bones]

They told me I’d never be any good at poetry because I’m dyslexic but so far I’ve made 2 jugs and a vase.

[nostrildamus]

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Steven Seagal decide to make and star in a movie about famous composers...
Bruce: "Okay guys, let's decide which musicians we'd like to portray"

Seagal: "Well, I guess I'll play Beethoven if you guys think that works"

Stallone: "that seems like a good fit. I think I'll be Mozart."

Willis: "Sounds good so far. I'd like to portray Brahms."

Stallone turns towards Schwarzenegger "Hey Arnold, have you decide who you want to play?"

Schwarzenegger: "I'll be Bach"

[Victor Meldrew]

[nostrildamus]

@Victor-Meldrew said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Bad architectural fail from the AI. Acropolis means an elevated city. The Acropolis is literally a fortified temple city sitting high up on a hill.

[Bones]

A guy asked me if I wanted to pet his Cocker Spaniel.

Feel kind of weird about it now.

I should have chosen the Spaniel.

[No Quarter]

[MiketheSnow]

@No-Quarter said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

[Catogrande]

@No-Quarter

In a similar vein, where do you measure how heavy a pie is?

Somewhere over the rainbow...