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Bad/Lame Jokes

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Bad/Lame Jokes
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  • CatograndeC Offline
    CatograndeC Offline
    Catogrande
    wrote last edited by
    #957

    How do make a cat sound like a dog?

    Pour petrol on it and strike a match...

    BonesB S 2 Replies Last reply
    1
  • BonesB Online
    BonesB Online
    Bones
    replied to Catogrande last edited by
    #958

    @Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

    How do make a cat sound like a dog?

    Pour petrol on it and strike a match...

    I'm going to need this one explained

    MiketheSnowM 1 Reply Last reply
    0
  • MiketheSnowM Offline
    MiketheSnowM Offline
    MiketheSnow
    replied to Bones last edited by
    #959

    @Bones said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

    @Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

    How do make a cat sound like a dog?

    Pour petrol on it and strike a match...

    I'm going to need this one explained

    Woof, whoosh 😉

    BonesB 1 Reply Last reply
    1
  • BonesB Online
    BonesB Online
    Bones
    replied to MiketheSnow last edited by
    #960

    @MiketheSnow said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

    @Bones said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

    @Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

    How do make a cat sound like a dog?

    Pour petrol on it and strike a match...

    I'm going to need this one explained

    Woof, whoosh 😉

    Missed the bit where he lit the petrol

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
  • S Online
    S Online
    scribe
    replied to Catogrande last edited by
    #961

    How do you make a dog sound like a cat?

    Store it in a freezer for a couple of days and then put it through a band saw..

    1 Reply Last reply
    3
  • MN5M Online
    MN5M Online
    MN5
    wrote last edited by
    #962

    A guy at Bunnings came up to me and asked me if I wanted decking.

    Luckily I got the first punch in.

    1 Reply Last reply
    2
  • Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor Meldrew
    wrote last edited by
    #963

    image.png

    1 Reply Last reply
    3
  • MiketheSnowM Offline
    MiketheSnowM Offline
    MiketheSnow
    wrote last edited by
    #964

    I played football today on a pitch surfaced with compacted rubble and broken bricks.

    We won 5-4 on aggregate.

    1 Reply Last reply
    4
  • Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor Meldrew
    wrote last edited by
    #965

    image.png

    1 Reply Last reply
    2
  • Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor Meldrew
    wrote last edited by
    #966

    image.png

    1 Reply Last reply
    7
  • Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor Meldrew
    wrote last edited by
    #967

    image.png

    1 Reply Last reply
    5
  • Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor Meldrew
    wrote last edited by
    #968

    "Knock, knock, who's there?"

    "Dwayne"

    "Dwayne Who?

    "Dwayne the Bathtub, I'm drowning!"

    voodooV 1 Reply Last reply
    2
  • voodooV Offline
    voodooV Offline
    voodoo
    replied to Victor Meldrew last edited by
    #969

    @Victor-Meldrew said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

    "Knock, knock, who's there?"

    "Dwayne"

    "Dwayne Who?

    "Dwayne the Bathtub, I'm drowning!"

    Don’t want to be pedantic, but shouldn’t he be “dwowning”?

    1 Reply Last reply
    5
  • MiketheSnowM Offline
    MiketheSnowM Offline
    MiketheSnow
    wrote last edited by
    #970

    Asked my driving instructor what it means if there's a red cross on a roundabout.

    He said it's one where you can only turn hard right.

    1 Reply Last reply
    2
  • MN5M Online
    MN5M Online
    MN5
    wrote last edited by
    #971

    I had a dream that I weighed less than thousandth of a gram.

    I was like, 0mg

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
  • Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor Meldrew
    wrote last edited by
    #972

    image.png

    boobooB 1 Reply Last reply
    2
  • boobooB Online
    boobooB Online
    booboo
    replied to Victor Meldrew last edited by
    #973

    @Victor-Meldrew said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

    image.png

    Took me half a second.

    Victor MeldrewV 1 Reply Last reply
    0
  • Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor MeldrewV Online
    Victor Meldrew
    replied to booboo last edited by
    #974

    @booboo said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

    Took me half a second.

    Age, mate

    1 Reply Last reply
    0
  • nostrildamusN Online
    nostrildamusN Online
    nostrildamus
    replied to booboo last edited by
    #975

    @booboo said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

    Does it look like Ikea?

    Don't know about that but I would not be surprised if the first IKEA store opening in NZ will be called "Swede as".

    1 Reply Last reply
    2
  • nostrildamusN Online
    nostrildamusN Online
    nostrildamus
    wrote last edited by
    #976

    When my wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, I had to put my foot down.

    1 Reply Last reply
    4

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