Bad/Lame Jokes

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How do you make a dog sound like a cat?

Store it in a freezer for a couple of days and then put it through a band saw..

[MN5]

A guy at Bunnings came up to me and asked me if I wanted decking.

Luckily I got the first punch in.

[Victor Meldrew]

[MiketheSnow]

I played football today on a pitch surfaced with compacted rubble and broken bricks.

We won 5-4 on aggregate.

[Victor Meldrew]

[Victor Meldrew]

[Victor Meldrew]

[Victor Meldrew]

"Knock, knock, who's there?"

"Dwayne"

"Dwayne Who?

"Dwayne the Bathtub, I'm drowning!"

[voodoo]

@Victor-Meldrew said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

"Knock, knock, who's there?"

"Dwayne"

"Dwayne Who?

"Dwayne the Bathtub, I'm drowning!"

Don’t want to be pedantic, but shouldn’t he be “dwowning”?

[MiketheSnow]

Asked my driving instructor what it means if there's a red cross on a roundabout.

He said it's one where you can only turn hard right.