Movie review thread...
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="NTA" data-cid="396100" data-time="1381194681">
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<p><em>Turbo</em> - a racing snail. Some funny moments. Not bad. Was it worth seeing at the cinema? Yeah for adults at kids prices I guess it entertained them.</p>
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<p>Took the kids to see this on Saturday, TR Jnr thought it was alright, Miss TR was walking around bored after about an hour...luckily theatre was almost empty, I was a bit disappointed TBH, not up there with the other 'kids' animated movies I have seen in the past few years.</p>
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<p>Elysium - it was ok, a bit meh TBH and a typically cheesy ending.</p> -
Mr Pip.<br><br>So the film of the book by Bob Jones' brother featuring Dr House with screenwriting and direction by the Shrek geezer.<br><br>Apparently it got "mixed" reviews when it premiered at Toronto a year ago although the audience loved it. Anyways Andrew Adamson said Toronto was too early but too good an opportunity to turn down and the film was unfinished at that time and he's spent a year since then in post production. So whats it like?<br><br>I didn't know a helluva lot about Bougaineville at the time but it appears to have all the trappings of a nasty little central African civil war.<br><br>The movie itself is very professional, lush and gorgeously filmed. Looks like one of those Gaugain paintings of Tahiti - both the scenery and the costumes.<br><br>First half plays out like a typical redeeming schoolteacher story although you do get a sense of foreboding overlaying it all. Second half deals with the cynical brutality of conflicts in a very understated, matter of fact and therefore very effective way. Theres a surprise coda as well.<br><br>I
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<p>I watched "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" last night. What a pile of shit. It held my attention, but mainly as i was still hungover from Saturday night. Gemma Arterton is pretty hot, but can't act for shit (seriously, the bitches face doesn't move). Should really just nude up and get it over with. Is there a less charismatic action "star" than Jeremy Renner? Famke Jansen was good to look at in the non-makeup bits as well. And the ranga who does nude up.</p>
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<p>Some glaringly shitty plot holes, and amazingly convenient coincidences abound. Watch if you're looking to kill an hour twenty while you are recovering from too much boozing. </p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="mariner4life" data-cid="397228" data-time="1381687788">
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<p>I watched "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters" last night. What a pile of shit. It held my attention, but mainly as i was still hungover from Saturday night. Gemma Arterton is pretty hot, but can't act for shit (seriously, the bitches face doesn't move). Should really just nude up and get it over with. Is there a less charismatic action "star" than Jeremy Renner? Famke Jansen was good to look at in the non-makeup bits as well. And the ranga who does nude up.</p>
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<p>Some glaringly shitty plot holes, and amazingly convenient coincidences abound. Watch if you're looking to kill an hour twenty while you are recovering from too much boozing. </p>
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<p>Thank you for for the honest appraisal there.</p>
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<p>I think we need a grading system for films</p>
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<p>See it at the movies</p>
<p>Wait for the dvd</p>
<p>Wait till its a $3.50 8 day hire</p>
<p>Wait till it's on sky /free to air it's to shitty to pay for.</p>
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<p>Also there should be mitigating factors i.e. lots of plot holes but it has tits and or even better some famous chick trying to be edgy by getting nude .For example Anne Hattheway used to make the sort of shit you wouldn't force of prisoners at Abu Ghraib , decided to shed the princess movie image and made Havoc which contains lots of female nudity .</p> -
I made the mistake of watching the latest version of The 3 Musketeers.<br><br>
No redeeming features at all. No comedy, no hot chicks getting their gear off, no hot chicks actually. The sword fighting is passable but not epic and that's what it should be.<br><br>
Stupid air ship battles and quite a good cast absolutely wasted.<br><br>
Free to air or better yet avoid, avoid, avoid. -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="NTA" data-cid="397265" data-time="1381704781">
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<p>You're over thinking it. Just mark it on the M4L shits n tits scale:<br><br>
Shit<br>
Shit with tits<br>
Tits<br>
TITS!<br>
TIIIIIIIIITS!<br>
Muff</p>
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<p>Where would flight fit into your rating system? I don't think you can quite express the fat it's a decent movie with very early Nadine Valasquez full frontal nudity with such a simplistic rating system.</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="jegga" data-cid="397287" data-time="1381725198"><p>Where would flight fit into your rating system? I don't think you can quite express the fat it's a decent movie with very early Nadine Valasquez full frontal nudity with such a simplistic rating system.</p></blockquote>
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Definitely muff -
Yeah as soon as there is muff, all bets are off.
But if you'd like to have a bit more structure, you could include the approximate minute/chapter number the muff appears in eg
You're at the movies, and it's muff. Check your watch, then it gets Muff35m
At home, the DVD has the muff in chapter 8 so it's a Muff 8c
This is to help your fellow movie goers if the rest of the flick is shit
Note this doesn't apply to tits ratings unless it's two sets touching each other
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="NTA" data-cid="397308" data-time="1381735492">
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<p>Yeah as soon as there is muff, all bets are off. But if you'd like to have a bit more structure, you could include the approximate minute/chapter number the muff appears in eg You're at the movies, and it's muff. Check your watch, then it gets Muff35m At home, the DVD has the muff in chapter 8 so it's a Muff 8c This is to help your fellow movie goers if the rest of the flick is shit Note this doesn't apply to tits ratings unless it's two sets touching each other</p>
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<p>Hmm, sounds eerily similar to a website someone tried to develop in a movie....</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="NTA" data-cid="397308" data-time="1381735492"><p>
Yeah as soon as there is muff, all bets are off.But if you'd like to have a bit more structure, you could include the approximate minute/chapter number the muff appears in eg You're at the movies, and it's muff. Check your watch, then it gets Muff35mAt home, the DVD has the muff in chapter 8 so it's a Muff 8cThis is to help your fellow movie goers if the rest of the flick is shitNote this doesn't apply to tits ratings unless it's two sets touching each other</p></blockquote>
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That's what dailymotion is for, if the mrs suggests we watch a DVD/ movie together I want to know I can fall asleep on the couch safe in the knowledge I'm not missing a " key plot device" cos she sure as fuck ain't going to rewind for me, -
<p>Ahhh, Porkies, Revenge of the Nerds, Screwballs and others around that time....every budding teenagers dream movies!</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="NTA" data-cid="397323" data-time="1381739508"><p>
If it's your wife suggesting it, then there are probably no "key plot device" bits, just a whole bunch of women making stupid decisions</p></blockquote>
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The exception to that is the " psychological thriller" suggesting trance backfired on her horribly. It's normally a 50/50 chance of nudity if you see those two words. -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="NTA" data-cid="397323" data-time="1381739508">
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<p>If it's your wife suggesting it, then there are probably no "key plot device" bits, just a whole bunch of women making stupid decisions</p>
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<p>women making stupid decisions have led to some of the best times of my life....</p> -
<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="NTA" data-cid="397265" data-time="1381704781">
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<p>You're over thinking it. Just mark it on the M4L shits n tits scale:<br><br>
Shit - <strong>Vanilla Sky</strong><br>
Shit with tits - <strong>Eyes Wide Shut</strong><br>
Tits - <strong>Troy (Directors Cut only)</strong><br>
TITS! - <strong>American Pie</strong><br>
TIIIIIIIIITS! - <strong>Desperado (also slight muff from memory. mmm Salma)</strong><br>
Muff - <strong>Basic Instinct</strong></p>
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<p>It's not easy to put movies in to those catagories. </p>
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<p>Where would you put "Showgirls" which had fucking heaps of tits, and muff, and maybe Kyle MacLachlan's cock, but sucked, really really hard?</p> -
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<p>that's normally the first bad decision</p>
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<blockquote class="ipsBlockquote" data-author="mariner4life" data-cid="397345" data-time="1381746296">
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<p>It's not easy to put movies in to those catagories. </p>
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<p>Where would you put "Showgirls" which had fucking heaps of tits, and muff, and maybe Kyle MacLachlan's cock, but sucked, really really hard?</p>
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<p>I'm glad there's a comma after sucked in that post. I had to read it twice to check.</p>
