Bad/Lame Jokes

[MN5]

An Englishman on a walk through the Welsh countryside bumps into a Welsh farmer and they start chatting;

Englishman: "That your dog?"

Welshman: "Aye"

Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?'

Welshman: "It's a dog... It doesn't talk.”

Englishman: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "I'm Doing all right thanks"

Welshman:

Englishman: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman)

Dog: "Yep."

Englishman: How's he treating you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play."

Welshman:

Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Welshman: "Its a horse...it doesn't talk.”

Englishman: "Hey horse how's it going?"

Horse: "not too bad, neigh complaints"

Welshman:

Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Welshman)

Horse: "Yep."

Englishman: "How's he treating you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather."

Welshman:

Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Welshman: "That sheep's a F*CKING LIAR!!!”

[Catogrande]

I googled “missing mediaeval servant”.

It came back Page not found.

[scribe]

@Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

I googled “missing mediaeval servant”.

It came back Page not found.

Keep serfing mate, you’ll find it!

[MiketheSnow]

A Darren Walsh special

I saw a donkey covered in porridge

It was Donkey Oatey

[Victor Meldrew]

[BerniesCorner]

@Catogrande said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Autopsy Club latest news.
Meeting this Saturday.
Open mike night.

"What do you think it'll be like?"
"Remains to be seen".

[MiketheSnow]

[canefan]

[Bones]

I asked my phone: "Siri, why am I so bad with women?"
She said: "I'm Alexa you moron."

[Nevorian]

[MiketheSnow]

I got fired from the pasta factory

All because I made a fusilli mistakes

Looking back, I canoli laugh about it now

[MN5]

I asked some chick out. I told her to meet me at the gym. She never turned up…..

I just knew right then we weren’t going to work out

[BerniesCorner]

@MiketheSnow said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

I got fired from the pasta factory

All because I made a fusilli mistakes

Looking back, I canoli laugh about it now

At the end of the shift you were meant to lock the factory door but couldn't. You had gnocchi

[MiketheSnow]

[No Quarter]

Gravity is a fundamental force in the universe, but what do you get when it is removed?

Gravy

[voodoo]

@No-Quarter said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Gravity is a fundamental force in the universe, but what do you get when it is removed?

Gravy

Awful

Just awful

[nostrildamus]

@No-Quarter said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Gravity is a fundamental force in the universe, but what do you get when it is removed?

Gravy

Strange, when I read the answer I still experienced a sinking feeling.

[Nevorian]

@No-Quarter said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Gravity is a fundamental force in the universe, but what do you get when it is removed?

Gravy

Well done both Bad and Lame

Some of the jokes on here recently have been way too good

[Victor Meldrew]

[Machpants]

@Victor-Meldrew said in Bad/Lame Jokes:

Nope, can't even see what tf is in the image